The Need

[lestat221]

There is a need for men to be dominated by women, I believe. When you have a woman who lovingly demands total obiedience sexually, through chastity or what have you, there is a strong connection and natural submission, which I for one find comforting and needed.

[Blade]

I could be wrong but I believe the underlying belief of Loving Female Authority is that women are superior to men in all regards. I think that all submissives feel comforted and needed through their position. This is what they crave. To serve and be taken care of.

[TensionRoom101]

That's not been my experience.

The majority of male submissives that I come into contact with are not submissives in the profound and spiritual sense, Basically are just turned on by the sight of a Domme, but through their list of wants and expectations have a tendancy to be in charge.

Likewise, most of the dominant women I encounter, at least in the stereotypical sense are role players. There are a few natural Dommes of course, but for most it's simply role play to satisfy the needs of their other half, to generate income, or as a mask to hide other vulnerabilities behind.

Mike

[lordcaspen]

It's also my (limited) experience that men who say they want to be dominated just want a little game of which they are still in charge (the moment something happens they don't really like). Now, I understand that in a rational world, nobody is ever really harmed without their explicit consent, and so in theory people should be in control, anyway, and all safe sex play should be on that basis ... I just think there is a certain level of disconnect between what is imagined by the male participants and what they actually say. They imagine this world where everything goes their own way (even where that way is painful or embarrassing), but they say that they want to be dominated.

[Smooth. Pride]

I do agree that a Women must be dominate over a man. It kinda turns me on anyway :) :P

[bouncehouse]

Careful stereotyping. Just because it's your experience doesn't mean it's everyone's.

[Dementyia]

In reality, most people who say they are "into" BDSM in any of it's forms aren't into the lifestyle, but are instead into BDSM play, where a part of their life, a part of their day or week is BDSM.

I can agree that most men desire to be controlled to some point. In today's society, where men are taught to be strong, powerful, and in control, and it is a huge release, a relief, and also very empowering to relinquish that perceived sense of power to another, even if for a little while.

[Wolfsister]

I think it can be fun, but in its purest sense, its all just 'play' or 'roleplaying'. I find a lot of respect for those that live this lifestyle (like all others) 24/7. I don't think I could be responsible for that long for another person. It seems that the dominant is usually the submissive, if only in the sense that they want to please their submissives. But sometimes, they want to please themselves more... and personally I don't agree with that. But that's my opinion. So don't get offended by it please. I just endeavour, when I play, to have both parties... erm... pleasured. :D

[Merlin]

Yeah i also tried to get this idea, that the dominant one is often in some way controlled by the submissive, in words (Part 2 of Being a dom (King talk edition) (http://www.kinktalk.com/talk/showthread.php?t=161)). Still that has nothing to do with not getting pleasure as a dom (at least not for me). I get most pleasure from knowing that i have the control of the pleasure of someone else. And that someone else is letting me get so deep control of her person.

[Wolfsister]

I completely agree with you. By no means was I saying that the dom had no right to any pleasure. Oft times tis pleasure by satisfaction. It is simply the dom state of mind. I love it... Its like a sacred trust that the submissive has for you... intoxicating.

[Achilles]

Its just hot being in that state of weakness

[lestat221]

Part of it (for me) is letting that control go, not having to think about it. I guess i just like the idea of pleasing my wife and knowing that I'm doing what SHE wants and making HER happy.

[zeketheorc]

I like femdom to a certain extent. I think its more I am not into the cruel form of femdom. I like the BDSM and strapon and some other things, but the idea of cbt just doesnt do it for me. Femdom itself tends to have a wide variety of kinks involved.

[stephpoet]

Some men I've played with are really into being submissive. Unfortunately most of them have deep psychological mother issues, or are repressed gay/bi. It's a shame, because it feeds stereotypes.

[strippednakedmale]

Have to agree with Stephpoet on this one. I thnk there has to be some feelings between the two and there needs to be a reason to contionue serving/being served or it will fade away. I honestly think that men seek....sorry...most ment seek a dominant female as a mother figure, therefore there needs to be love and mutual rewarding in that type of relationship for it to be a good one.
This is missing EVERY time with money dommes/doms or other types of professional dommes/doms from what I seen. They seem to be more of the "man hater" type and not a domme at all. Just greedy and it wont last, nore do they care I suppose.
A certain sense of trust is necessary for both parties if you want a long term, working relationship no matter who's on "top". Been there done that myself though and it got boring so now I want to try the other side of the coin to see if it's more fun anyways. If it ever happens that is

[aika]

I like to be on top and bottom... I'm straight and I don't have any mother issues :3

I think I like to be on top a bit more though.

[Night-1990]

I live for it, y'know , i think there is a huge need for males to be dominated by females, and it's good, as half the bdsm world is maledom based, there really needs to be more women in control to balance things out.

[Simplyme]

You know after so many years of the man being the dominant rule maker it is not hard to see why so many like the idea of a strong demanding woman. It is a nice release for some from day to day expectations and for others come on it's just sexy as hell :p

[Beatrice]

True, talking about roleplaying in this matter wouldn't be totally wrong. I love to dominate during sex and I tend to do it in my day to day relationships also, it is just the way I am. And the men I have been in relationships with didn't seem to be bothered by that. On the contrary, they loved the feeling of having a powerful wonam next to them.:D

[yvonnewilcox]

I love Male Domination in bed but not to the point of degrading him. I think a woman should take charge and show our men just how we want to feel when they are in charge. Let me strap up and ride you for 15 minutes.

[KinkyKev87]

i believe that some women are meant to take control and some aren't
as much as i love to be dominated by women i still think some of them should be dominated as well, not by me but by a more dominant men...i think things are fine as they are
i just wish more ppl were into the kinky stuff like we are

[Moneque]

I myself need to be controlled. I LOVE it, and if I wasn't I would definitely run all over my partner. I like being and playing weak and bowing down to their every need. Makes me actually feel like I am the one in control of them.

[Slave2008]

i dont think i agree with the whole male subs have "Mother" issues. ive known i was submissive and into BDSM at a VERY early age. i actually tied myself up when i was still in 1st grade. Parents had to come in and untie me.

Everyone has different needs some like to dom some like sub, why does there have to be issues just because someone likes giving control to another.


my current situation is as 24/7 as can be(we dont have kids) so its pretty much on at all times. i just wouldnt want it any other way.

[jack]

there is an oedipus level to it, I believe. There is also a level of 'men are naturally dominant' so being dominated by a women is a way of rebelling and being individual.

I love it

[darekingkentuk]

In reality, most people who say they are "into" BDSM in any of it's forms aren't into the lifestyle, but are instead into BDSM play, where a part of their life, a part of their day or week is BDSM.

I think you hit exactly my feelings here, I dont know if it will make me an outcast here but I am into the BDSM play and being playful and fun with it. I like it because I enjoy the playful and taboo side of it, I dont want to surrender my whole life to it.

[HaplessYouth]

Was raised by my mother with no father figure, so I believe women should be all powerful.

Bring me on a fem to be my masterrrrrr