Sub Block

[Chloe]

Anyone has ever heard of this? I came across this term on another forum recently. Basically, sub block is a term used to describe it when a sub wants to submit but they just can’t. This can happen for different reasons: fear, energy level, mood, etc. But the result is that the sub feels unable to comply.

I’m posting this in the Submissive’s Lounge because of the nature of this topic but anyone can feel free to reply as it could be interesting to get opinions from both sides on this :)

So, if you’re a sub: Has sub block ever happened to you? How do you handle it? What are the things your Dominant does (or can do) to help you when it happens?

For Doms: Have you ever been in a situation where your sub had such a block? If so, what do you do to help the sub in the process?

[aron878]

As with many things, you've GOT to be in the right mood. I've a task from my signifigant other in my inbox, but just don't feel up to it just yet, however I'll likely do it later.

It's usually nothing I need help getting over, just something to work up to.

[Slave2008]

i dont think ive ever had that happen, at least yet anyway. However, my current Mistress is VERY creative and can sometimes come up with things i never thought id do, but thats what makes it fun, pushing the limits.........:D

[slaveslut]

i hase happened where i have submited when i didnt feel like it

[lydiab6]

I think 'sub block' is an excellent example of why I'm a switch.

As I've stated before, I used to identify heavily as a dominant... life changed, my body chemistry changed, and with it I have a bunch of submissive leanings.

When I'm in a submissive mind set for a while, my mind and body ends up freaking out. I get frustrated, and scared, and feel completely out of sorts. I can no longer take the pressure of doing the right thing, of being 'good', of obeying.

When that happens, I can't take being submissive any more. I need control, and I need control not only of myself but towards someone else that wants my control.

So I guess, I don't really handle sub block as a sub. My head space switches, and I try and handle it as a dom.

I'm not sure if this quite answers your question, or even if my example fits into the category of sub block, but hope it helps. :)

[Anjelen]

Sub block has happened. Sub block will happen - though i've never heard it called this before ;) Learn something new every day!

Wether the block occurs because of fatigue, That Time Of The Month, fatigue, or whatever other reason - it's best to keep in mind that it may at any time occur. This is why i take the time to get to know mine as thoroughly as possible - that i may see when they are blocked and simply unable, or apathetically unwilling, to serve. When threats of punishment, actual punishment - (and) all those (other) things that put that glint in the sub's eyes - or even 'scenes' nolonger have any effect whatsoever, i find the solution to be simple- change the scenery.

Go on a trip for a day or two. Even if you just take the sub swimming, or for all i care a long walk in the park - the change of scenery and the society-forced requirement to embrace a more vanilla approach to one another will in my experience usually give the sub some time to recharge and get back in the game, so to speak.

And in my experience it isn't at all too difficult to avoid either - i've managed to avoid it by insisting my subs do something they love, for themselves, 'outside' the D/s mindset, for half an hour to an hour every day - even if it's just watching television or drawing or listening to their favorite music, undisturbed (and in the case of online subs this usually needn't apply - as they have a life beyond the time they spend with you!) - give them some time to be themselves, to let their hair down, every day, and they will be all the more appreciative when they need to pay attention ;)

Just my two cent's worth. Individual mileage may vary. Et cetera. :)

[aron878]

Sub block has happened. Sub block will happen - though i've never heard it called this before ;) Learn something new every day!

Wether the block occurs because of fatigue, That Time Of The Month, fatigue, or whatever other reason

...You said fatigue twice ;)

[Anjelen]

I'm energetic. Fatigue is a great factor ;)

[aron878]

;p

Usually, my problem isn't block, It's finding that time in which to do stuff.

[Merlin]

i think you don't really get the point (beside of lydia) :)
that is not a matter of not wanting or not having the time but being mentally blocked up t the point of not able to do anything at that moment .. kind of like in a panic reaction...

[aron878]

Perhaps I'll agree, as I've not yet had the privelidge of serving my master in his presence.

Perhaps I won't agree, as I've occasionally been told to do petplay tasks, which I've no real problem with, but it's hard to act like a horse when I know I'm not. (ironically, chloe's reason behind this sums my feelings up also)

[Sour Candy]

I think 'sub block' is an excellent example of why I'm a switch.

As I've stated before, I used to identify heavily as a dominant... life changed, my body chemistry changed, and with it I have a bunch of submissive leanings.

When I'm in a submissive mind set for a while, my mind and body ends up freaking out. I get frustrated, and scared, and feel completely out of sorts. I can no longer take the pressure of doing the right thing, of being 'good', of obeying.

When that happens, I can't take being submissive any more. I need control, and I need control not only of myself but towards someone else that wants my control.

So I guess, I don't really handle sub block as a sub. My head space switches, and I try and handle it as a dom.

I'm not sure if this quite answers your question, or even if my example fits into the category of sub block, but hope it helps. :)

quoted for truth.

[Chloe]

that is not a matter of not wanting or not having the time but being mentally blocked up t the point of not able to do anything at that moment .. kind of like in a panic reaction...

Yes, that’s pretty much how it is. What Lydia described as “my mind and body ends up freaking out. I get frustrated, and scared, and feel completely out of sorts” is quite accurate. From one person to another and depending on the situation the reactions will be different. It can range from getting nervous, frustrated, angry and, in worst case scenarios, anxiety and/or panic.

I think the best way to describe it is like when an athlete chokes under pressure. Or similarly like stage frights that actors can encounters before performing in front of an audience. It’s not exactly the same but it’s the closest comparison I can think of… Basically, you could say it’s a negative reaction to pressure and nerves.

This has happened to me quite a few times… Most of the times it was either right before or at the beginning of a task that involved an activity that was more challenging to me. And, ironically, sometimes it involved activities that I had ermm… “insisted” on! :banghead:

A few times, I got some minor blocks that were due to fatigue and such… Those are obviously easier to get over and , like Anjelen said, a change of scenery or some time to recharge the batteries is all it takes to get back on track.

But most of the blocks I’ve had were major ones… Those are more fear-related. Fear that something bad may happen, of not being able, or worse: fear of failure. So far I don’t know any other immediate action that works aside from stopping the task.

And so far the only way to handle it that has worked for me is to do what everyone says not to do (kids, don’t try this at home! lol) I stop communicating. At least, at that moment, I do talk about it later, of course. Sometimes it can last only 10-15 minutes, some other times I may need a few hours or even a couple of days… At the moment when this happens it’s merely impossible for me to talk rationally anyway because of the mixed feelings it produces: frustration, sadness, anger, guilt, etc. So I need to go into myself to calm down and then analyze what happened, why I felt like that, etc. Often putting this thoughts into writing has helped in the past too.

Maybe not the greatest idea (and not so sure I’d recommend it to others) but it works for me :o

[Anjelen]

A very informative post, Chloe dear. :) Well put and well-described - and yes. this was what i gleaned from the original posts.

Anxiety or fear-based blocks that can cause scenes or even days - since i do this whole 24/7 thing - to grind to a screeching halt - again, they will happen. Best thing to do is to try and prevent them - for me, this entails keeping a very close eye on the slave in question and trying - fortunately i'm usually sucessfull - wether something i ask of them pushes them simply Too Far - wether they've performed this for me in the past holds no truck here.

When a slave is blocked, stopped, and near tears and not in that good way - i will stop the task, sit them down, hold them and tell them not to worry of that task - for that moment. I will tell them i may ask for this task at a later time - but at -that- precise time they get a moment of tenderness and the chance to spill their tears if they need to.

Use doesn't continue until i've seen them smile again. :)

"Care for your toys, and your toys will care for you" - Dom-Fu Koan #2. ;)

[Master_ofpain]

yes sub block can happen many ways, masters just need to fill in their support rolls such as a friend and companion, dont force the issue or punshment for non compliance.

there is also dom block, where shit hits the fan and the dom just wants a person to talk to without the need to preform their role