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41 year old guy looking for his first experience as sub (blackmail)

Posted 02-08-2018 at 06:03 AM by junkie4bdsm

Quote:
Originally Posted by novsla View Post
I am a rather shy, 41 year old guy from Germany. Still in a good shape for my age, normal job, amazing girlfriend, great friends everything is fine. I don't see myself as a slave or submissive. If at all I'd rather consider myself dominant in my everyday live and in my relationship.

Other than that I would prefer a woman in charge, but don't want to completely rule out men or couples for this role either if everything fits.

For some strange reason I have those weird fantasies from time to time though. They always start with a woman (most of the times someone I don't really like) getting hold of some incriminating information about me. Once at her mercy she uses the power she now has over me to humiliate me for her amusement and strip away all my dignity.
It also doesn't really matter that much how she does it. As long as there is some kind of force involved and what she asks from me feels humiliating it arouses me at the same time. One often recurring fetish in my fantasies is forced bi though. Not sure how to realize something like that online.

Obviously there are several problems if I would try to turn my fantasies into reality. The first and most obvious being that it doesn't seem to be the smartest idea to give such power to a stranger. In the end there are only 3 options to deal with this though.
- Give up the hope to live my fantasies.
- Lurk around bad areas at night in hope some crazy, sadistic woman kidnaps me.
- Or, and that's what I try to do with my ad, ignore the danger and take the risk.

Another huge problem is that reality might turn out to be not nearly as pleasant as I hope. I mean, lets be honest: Once my arousal is gone I turn red in shame that I even thought about such things and suddenly there is no excitement left. Which leads me to believe that I won't be to happy most of my time with the things you might make me do.

Also I realized while writing with some dominants, that many dominants shy away from forcing people into submission and prefer it if a slave submits freely to them. Which is something I totally understand. In fact I think it is really hard to stay consequent when a slave begs and pleads for mercy. However on a consensual basis I don't have the slightest interest to do anything I find humiliating.

So basically I am searching for a dominant person who likes the thought of forcing/blackmailing someone into humiliation. Totally aware that I have no experience so far and likely won't like what happens to me. Who doesn't accept limits when it comes to fetishes and has no issue to expose me if I don't serve to her fullest satisfaction.

I know this alone will only meet the preferences of very few people (if at all). And still there is more to come. While I don't want to rule out the possibility that this may become a lasting online relationship I strongly fear that I regret ever writing this ad the very second I really am at someones mercy. And therefor only want to submit for a previously agreed upon time frame. And as I mentioned in the beginning:
I have a girlfriend that doesn't know about my hidden desires. We live in separate apartments but spent the weekends together. Obviously you would be free to expose me to whoever and however you like if I don't obey. Guess else this wouldn't work.
But as long as I obey I want you to respect my relationship and on weekends don't ask anything from me I can't hide from my girlfriend.

Other than that I would prefer a woman in charge, but don't want to completely rule out men or couples for this role either if everything fits.

My hopes aren't to high as I am aware that I look for a very specific kind of dominant here. If there are any questions left feel free to ask and I shall answer as fast as I can.
I have done this. Pm for details.
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