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Posted 02-11-2018 at 03:24 AM by acronymboy
Updated 02-11-2018 at 03:41 AM by acronymboy

CHAS ( -tity ) HUM ( -iliation )

I decided Iím going to use my journal to explain why I found interest in each of the acronyms that have made me an acronymboy.

One at a time Ö and in no particular order.

HUM (-iliation)

I read somewhere that humiliation is often felt when your status is lowered in front of others.

I think thereís an interesting starting point to it. Whereas, Shame and guilt are things you feel about yourself, humiliation is often how someone else had made you feel.

It is widely viewed as a negative thing. So Ö why is it so intoxicating for some?

The boring answer might be that humiliation is so intense that it makes your brain work harder to process the emotion, an arguable but medically documented statement. Pain and pleasure come from the same part of the brain. Maybe thereís something to the reason as to why they can be interchangeable.

The more interesting answer might be that humiliation is: suddenly receiving something you wanted and not knowing how to react to it.

People have tried to counsel me on why humiliation is so gratifying to me. Theyíve tried to help me through it, but humiliation isnít something that has a negative effect of me. In fact, I crave it more than anything else.

Iíve never been humiliated face to face, but Iíve received a lot of emails where people typed humiliating things to me. And they werenít all negative comments. When I read those messages (and when I go back and re-read them again), I get unique physical reactions from them.

First is the typical male reaction of arousal. Then I get a slight tightness across my chest, as if I need more oxygen. Then my scalp tingles, like little bits of electricity are dancing across my skin. Then I get a mental picture of whatever is being typed to me Ö almost as if the person typing it was standing right in front of me.

But I can only imagine what it feels like when I hear a voice say it, in a face-to-face fashion. Oh, what a stimulating fantasy.

Humiliation is still a personal ongoing research topic for me as I really canít explain why I love it so much. It would be nice to know why I love it, but then again, if I ever fully understand the reasonings behind my attraction to it Ö it just might lose its luster.

What I do know is Ö it is the one thing that ties all of my kinky acronyms together. It is the rainbow sprinkles on the top of my ice cream.
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