not sure what to do

sarah

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Feb 28, 2009
8
2
0
hi. i am new here so i am trying to figure out where to post this. If i did wrong, i hope it can be moved.

i have a situation tonight and i really dont know what to do. i am just getting to know a Master. He commanded me to meet Him after i got out of work. i was on time, and so far have waited almost 2 hours and still am alone.

i am fairly new to this whole thing but i do know some things and have experienced a little, but i have no idea what to do in this situation.

is it wrong for me to go get my sleep before i work in 5 hours?

if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to commment.

Again, i hope this is the right spot for this.

and thank you in advance.
 

bordendazed

Kink Talk Member
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
Jul 9, 2008
36
0
0
Indiana
Well what happened - were they intentionally late or what?

Don't deny yourself rest, unless that's something that is part of the agreement, but unless there's some "other" agreement, keeping your job and sanity preclude any other activities, IMHO.
 

sarah

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Feb 28, 2009
8
2
0
He never showed. i stayed and waited, never slept. we did not have an agreement of any sort, He is not willing to discuss anything with me. no limits, no safe words. nothing. then He sends me a message stating He was testing me to see if i am worthy of His time. i dont know, i hear that this is not how it should be.
 

bordendazed

Kink Talk Member
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
Jul 9, 2008
36
0
0
Indiana
Move along, that's not the Droid you are looking for...

It's supposed to be fun, not annoying...
 

lydiab6

Kink Talk Member
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Switch
Jan 15, 2008
59
8
8
This is defiantly not how it should be! If you are in a new relationship, you should be getting to know one another. 'He', I'm assuming it is a he, should know what your experience has been, what you are looking for, your limits, and you should know the same of him. Find someone else, and don't worry if it takes time to find the person that is right for you.
 

sum1

2
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jan 9, 2008
638
12
0
37
uk
I second everything that's been said, ditch the guy. He sounds like a right nobber. At the start of a relationship, especially one of this nature he and you should be trying to find out as much as you can about each other and not playing silly little 'test' to see if you're worthy of his time (which to me sounds like an excuse, he was probably out with friends and forgot that he was meant to be meeting you)
 

HornyAndLooking

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
Dec 10, 2008
14
1
0
I agree that you need to move on. Although I'm more concerned that he may be more controlling than even a master need to or should be. The whole thing about him not wanting to discuss limits or safeties bothers me.
 

tempered_sugar

Senior Kink Talk Member
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
May 6, 2008
171
14
0
I second everything that's been said, ditch the guy. He sounds like a right nobber. At the start of a relationship, especially one of this nature he and you should be trying to find out as much as you can about each other and not playing silly little 'test' to see if you're worthy of his time (which to me sounds like an excuse, he was probably out with friends and forgot that he was meant to be meeting you)


"nobber" lol

I don't think he forgot to meet you, he probably chickened out!!

He isn't worth your time and I think it is best to just ignore him. He waisted your time which is so so rude no matter what kinda relaitionship you have with someone.
 

sarah

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Feb 28, 2009
8
2
0
well, i am not with him anymore. everything was about his time and how i should be grateful he pays me any attention. i should be humbed and realize i am only worthy of it when i pass a stupid test. i did get the crap beat out of me in the process but i filed a report and its over. i have learned something through being knocked on my *ss and i am moving on. so thank you all for your help. it was much appreciated.
 

Master_Emanon

Kink Talk Member
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Mar 15, 2009
82
2
0
well, i am not with him anymore. everything was about his time and how i should be grateful he pays me any attention. i should be humbed and realize i am only worthy of it when i pass a stupid test. i did get the crap beat out of me in the process but i filed a report and its over. i have learned something through being knocked on my *ss and i am moving on. so thank you all for your help. it was much appreciated.

Well personally, while he may be training you, if you are just getting to know him, then how can he already be your master, before collaring or accepting that term Master, the trust should already be there, you and he should have a type of bond, special to only you to.

Though to get back to your topic, it seems he is not serious, it is one thing to be fashionably late as they say, 10-15 minutes, but to be two hours later and not even contact you (call or text) then he does not seem to be serious and holds you as his sub in good manner.

I would suggest, that you discontinue the current course of bond between you two, while it is just beginning, if he has such a not caring enough to call or even showing any interest of contact after two hours, it will surely only get worst.

and going from your post, he does not seem to want a slave to be obedient, and to train and care for her as his, he seems to only want a woman who will take orders not expect any type of affection, so maybe he wants a TPE Masochist who enjoys degradation, humiliation and things of that nature, though if he was a REAL MASTER all of these things would of been discussed before even taking you as a slave, as far as what is to be expected and limits and things of that nature. So simply taking you as a slave before even knowing you and your limits shows he is simply yet another fake claiming to be a Master

Good luck with it all.
 
Last edited:

freakxxx

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Mar 16, 2009
14
0
0
Australia
www.wtfbitch.org
Well personally, while he may be training you, if you are just getting to know him, then how can he already be your master, before collaring or accepting that term Master, the trust should already be there, you and he should have a type of bond, special to only you to.

Though to get back to your topic, it seems he is not serious, it is one thing to be fashionably late as they say, 10-15 minutes, but to be two hours later and not even contact you (call or text) then he does not seem to be serious and holds you as his sub in good manner.

I would suggest, that you discontinue the current course of bond between you two, while it is just beginning, if he has such a not caring enough to call or even showing any interest of contact after two hours, it will surely only get worst.

and going from your post, he does not seem to want a slave to be obedient, and to train and care for her as his, he seems to only want a woman who will take orders not expect any type of affection, so maybe he wants a TPE Masochist who enjoys degradation, humiliation and things of that nature, though if he was a REAL MASTER all of these things would of been discussed before even taking you as a slave, as far as what is to be expected and limits and things of that nature. So simply taking you as a slave before even knowing you and your limits shows he is simply yet another fake claiming to be a Master

Good luck with it all.

Couldn't of said it better myself, kinda surprising the amount of idiots out there though.
There is a massive difference between being a Master and being a total prick. :mad:
 

sarah

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Feb 28, 2009
8
2
0
Couldn't of said it better myself, kinda surprising the amount of idiots out there though.
There is a massive difference between being a Master and being a total prick. :mad:



i love that...prick word. hehehe ^5
yes there is a massive difference. there are a lot of pricks out there wanting to be called Master but arent masters at all.

i have taken a break, a vacation of sorts and can see even more clearly.

update: he is in jail. i am done with him except for a hearing i have to be at in a few weeks.

i have learned a major lesson and am moving on. my search continue, but no more jumping in to anything. no more 5 minute chats then being owned (clears throat) seems to happen a lot online. but there again just more pricks and not Masters.
 

Master_ofpain

Kink Talk Member
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jan 12, 2008
37
0
0
oh ya... on the reverse note....
is he worthy of YOUR time lol...

who holds the power in a master/slave relationship?

my answer shocks most people;

its the slave/submissive, 110%

Master is a title earned only AFTER the submission, not before.

the True Master sacrifices themselves, to rise to a level, to have their wills tested to see if they have the right stuff inside them to control another life and keep the slaves submission enjoyable.

sure testing the waters is a 2 way street, if he puts you on a probation period. then you put him on the same.

he can fail, and looks like he did if he is in jail. whats the charge? sexual assault? rape?

you see i have a friend right now, that if i met her, i could whip her black and blue, push her down anywhere and pretty much rape her at any time. would i get charged? no, why? its something she would enjoy coming from me through almost 2 years of on line conversations. anyone else who attempted it with her would be locked up. (I'm looking for others because of personal reasons between her and i and keep it as that, we are "friends")

who ultimatly holds the power, the slave because she could walk away,
and with no one to call the master "master" he is nothing.
 
Last edited:

His_Einna

Kink Talk Member
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Slave
Apr 17, 2009
46
10
0
Hey there

Just chipping in my two cents here.

First off...shit, that sucks. I'm sorry to hear what happened to you. It's a frightingly common story :-(

There are three golden rules that I was taught by my first online Dominant;

1 - Never agree to being owned, collared or anything else when you've only chatted online or over the phone. Spend some time with the person in the flesh before your first playtime. Remember, a good Dominant will literally have their subs life in their hands; you need to be able to trust these people.

2 - Discuss safe-words, limits (hard and soft) and talk on every subject of BDSM before playing. A lot of people, especially those new to this, don't know what their limits are because they've never been pushed, and it's important for the subs safety that these things are established.

3 - Always take the regular safety precautions. Be sure people know where you are and who you're with, where you'll be and when you'll be there. Have a phone with you at all times, if possible meet up with a friend the first time, be in a public place, etc. etc. The way a friend once explained it to me; if you wouldn't take your child into that situation, don't put yourself into it.

Another peice of advice from my own Dominant; to a good Dom, it's all about the sub. To a good sub, it's all about the Dominant. I've heard bad experiences from both Doms and subs about abusive partners, and I know that any good Dominant would be appauled by your story and all like it, just as a submissive would be appauled to learn that their Dominant had been the victim of an abusive 'Do me' sub depersate to incur punishments by hitting their Master. My own Dom was appauled by your story and saddened by how often it happens and how terrifyingly easy; any Dom who doesn't responed in a similar fashion is probably not in it for the right reasons.

Anyways, I know you've probably heard all this a few thousand times already, but I'm just reaffirming it :) If you ever wanna chat, I have a couple of horror stories for you, and if you ever want someone to give an opinion on a possible Dom, I'll gladly play the over-bearing older sib for you :)

Play safe
 

Featured Threads

New Personals