Male puppy looking to make a female owner happy

I am a male puppy dog that enjoys sleeping on the floor naked and eating my food from a bowl with no utensils or use of hands. I will serve any female that wants a puppy to play with and watch fetch things for her or lick her to pleasure. Finally, I enjoy being on a leash for display for my owner's friends as long as my face is covered with a mask of some sort and I will wag my little puppy tail for my owner whenever she wants me to.