How To Be Better

Raitake

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Sep 21, 2015
11
0
1
NYC
I am new to the lifestyle of being a dom. I have a sub on kik, and I understand she cant always be online and im fine with it. However she doesnt like to listen when i tell her to do things, and it is hard because she lives with other people. I need some advice on how to train her, because she is also new to the lifestyle. I would also like some advice from anyone who can help me become a better master. Thank you for your help.
 

Doctor Pervert

Retired
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
4,731
483
The main issue for most of these types of relationships is you don't really have any idea of the subs real life commitments and responsibilities. Often they will be very keen and willing but real life intrudes all the time making sticking to rules, performing tasks etc difficult or impossible. Now you can try to stick to your guns and enforce your will but often this will simply result in the sub dropping contact altogether.
The bottom line is don't expect too much too soon and if your sub is not complying find out why, is it because they don't want to do what you ask or simply that they can't.
If it's because they don't want to is this because your tasks are too extreme, too boring or not challenging enough or are they just being wilful to test you?
Also remember they won't always be "in the mood" not everyone is horny 24/7 and time zone differences exaggerate this effect.
Be patient and communicate, if you work out what works and what doesn't you can both enjoy yourselves!
 

HarmlessBeast

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
Jan 7, 2015
26
1
0
Edmonton
Also remember they won't always be "in the mood" not everyone is horny 24/7 and time zone differences exaggerate this effect.
Be patient and communicate, if you work out what works and what doesn't you can both enjoy yourselves!

I just read this and wanted to comment on the line "in the mood". He also said "Be patient and communicate" which is very important, but what I would suggest is finding out if their submission is about being "in the mood". To some people, submission is a sexual thing. To others, it is a totally non sexual thing that has more to do with a person who wants someone else to take responsibility for them. To some it is a hybrid. The key is to find out what they expect, and what you expect and finding out if these expectations are compatible.
 

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