Own Cum Eating

hiemsq

Kink Talk Member
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Oct 16, 2015
30
0
6
A month ago I wrote this on gd.

I'm straight but I enjoy watching sissy hypno and such, I really don't care about thinking it being considered gay, I just like it as fantasies and I don't see any problem, so that is not an issue at all.

Lately I find really hot the idea of drinking my own cum and I watched a lot of cei (cum eating instructions), cum eating hypno and such. However I get the usual problem that I lose the urge for doing it after I get my orgasm. I managed to do it sometimes but it's really unpleasant (actually I'm somehow lucky because I produce a little amount of sperm so it's easy to just gulp it down fast). I tried freezing it in the past but it's always complicated because I share a kitchen and I can't leave it in the fridge for days because I don't want to be caught by my housemates.

A few days ago I found a video with instructions but it was different from others. It wasn't a sissy one, but it was "cum eating instructions for straight guys" or something similar (I actually can't find it anymore). It gave instructions but it wasn't humiliating, it just stated that eating your cum is the easiest way to clean you up and it is natural and straightforward. That it was ok not to like it at the beginning and that you don't have to like it after a while but just consider it part of the masturbation routine.

I always disliked cum eating and it took me months to even do it for the first time. I always thought that I liked the idea of being forced to do it and of course it should be ordered by a girl. However I watched this video and now I'm trying to do it every time I jerk off. But I don't like it, I just follow the suggestion and do it not to waste tissues and be clean. I still don't like it but I'm curious to verify whether I can get used to it after a couple of weeks. While the old humiliating videos said I would get addicted to it (implying I would get to like it in the end) this video made me curious whether I can learn to go through it without being disgusted.

And here is my question. Do you think that own cum eating should be used as a punishment and made it humiliating? Or should it become a like and used as a like/dislike since it would be humiliating wheter a slave like it or not? Should I keep doing it following this new video philosophy (not humiliating just natural) or keep it as a punishiment and do it just when ordered to (or feel like it after a good cei video)?

One of my great problems is that I never found a mistress to force me, so I wonder if this could affect any future order I can get.

And a few days ago I added this:

Well, nobody answered so I will report here like a blog but maybe this time anyone will be inspired. It's been almost a month (about four weeks) that I started this habit. Since then I swallowed my cum each time I jerked off (that is around once a day). I thought it would become easier with time but I still don't like doing it. Each time is like the first one, I find it disgusting but I do it quickly managing to get over the repulsion. However I couldn't get to the next step that is savouring it and keeping it in my mouth, that's still too much for me.
This experiment proved that I need someone to force me to enjoy the punishment side and I can't get to like it or get used to it by myself. And I'm lucky that I only produce a small amount, with larger volume I might find it too disgusting and spit it out or worse.
Most of the encouraging videos I watched during these weeks (but even before) pointed out that you might dislike it at the beginning but you will get to like it in the end. If (almost) a month didn't change my view at all I don't think it's worth keeping doing it, so I think I will stop it. Anyway I'd still like to hear what you think about this and maybe tell your personal story, because I still find it exciting in the femdom/punishment point of view and I don't know if I should look for someone to force me into it or not.

Nobody answered there, maybe someone here wants to give their opinion.
 

CuriouslyInterested

Verified Dragon
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Staff member
Jan 12, 2015
464
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28
Midwest
"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.."
John Milton, Paradise Lost

Whether it's a punishment or not is solely dependent on your feelings about it. There is no thing that everyone will feel punished. Someone out there likes it. You can learn to like certain things but it might never be something you enjoy. And even if you never like it, it doesn't mean that you will feel punished doing it. "Punishment" is the intentions behind an action.
 

hiemsq

Kink Talk Member
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Oct 16, 2015
30
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Thanks for your answer. I understand what you mean. However I can't imagine if I can "like" it as a punishment nor if I can learn to like it. At the moment I'm stuck. And it's weird that this is something I have a lot of phantasies about but that always disappoints me when I try it.
 

cjp

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
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  • Switch
Dec 14, 2012
9
0
1
uk
Thanks for your answer. I understand what you mean. However I can't imagine if I can "like" it as a punishment nor if I can learn to like it. At the moment I'm stuck. And it's weird that this is something I have a lot of phantasies about but that always disappoints me when I try it.

i saw your post on GD but was mid activity so couldnt reply.

maby you will learn to like it. and from my point of view it sounds like you are on that path.
there is also the kink/taboo side of doing somethingt you dont like. its the feeling of being made to do it that turns you on most likely.

will happily talk about this , as its a mutual subject. pm or reply :)
 

hiemsq

Kink Talk Member
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Oct 16, 2015
30
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Nothing changed since then. I stopped forcing me and I don't think I'll start again soon. I think I need someone to force me otherwise I find it exciting only thinking of it and not doing it. But it's quite hard to find a girl interested in this kind of activity (only or mainly, at least).
 

teenslaveboy1

Kink Talk Member
  • Straight
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  • Slave
Oct 28, 2011
89
2
8
well when i was 16

my girlfriend would give me head and she hated eating cum but i would never tell her when i was gonna cum so i would cum in her mouth. i thought it was hilarious well 1 day she says to me that she was gonna make me eat my own cum well i said nope never gonna happen. well the next weekend she gets me so worked up and keeps stopping right when im about to cum and says ill make u cum if u eat it afterwards well at this point im so horny im saying yes to anything so i said ok watever. so she says lay on ur back and flip ur legs over ur head and ill make u cum in ur mouth so i did. well come to find out my penis reachs my lips... so she is having a blast cause the head of my penis is in my mouth while she is jacking me off and then finally it happens ... i shoot and it hits the back of my throat i roll of and start puking horrible experience... but i did find out i could lick my own penis and that at heart im a slave to women
 

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