_Blackmailed_

you can't just come into someone's life and just take control, you need to get to know a person first, and then, if you trust each other (it shouldn't come just from 1 person) then you should discuss how to make that happen. what kind of leverage you will provide, and what your actions should be to keep that leverage out of the hands of the people you don't want it in. it doesn't work any other way i think.

^^^ couldn't have said it better myself. also, the other person would have to care enough to completely control you, which doesn't come from strangers.

blackmail isn't bdsm

I am interested myself also. But, people, you are not helping him giving contrary advices. If anyone asks to be blackmailed and find someone interested, of course there will be a private discussion between them that would establish all the limits.

duskiy said:

I am interested myself also. But, people, you are not helping him giving contrary advices. If anyone asks to be blackmailed and find someone interested, of course there will be a private discussion between them that would establish all the limits.

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I think you're totally wrong people are trying to help him.. blackmail might be fun in the beginning but he needs to think about the long-term effect of what he is about to do .
And just because there's discussions doesn't really mean a lot because anybody can be anything they want online , and when he's ready to stop and have enough that doesn't mean the other person is going to and they probably won't because they have all your information now.. just something to think about.

I would agree, this is an area that can go wrong really easily. Once stuff is out there you have no control at all, that might be thrilling you now but you can't just switch it off when you've had enough. And come on, there really is no such thing as "consensual blackmail" it either is real blackmail or its just role play.

Definition:
the action, treated as a criminal offence, of demanding money from someone in return for not revealing compromising information which one has about them.

Note the use of "criminal offence", just suppose as a blackmailer your "victim" turns around and reports you? Or that the information they are feeding you is about someone else and not them? Something to think about...

Also note "of demanding money from someone in return for not revealing compromising information which one has about them." If money isn't involved it can be argued that its not "real" blackmail. Also, everyone here is hypothesizing of what can go wrong from blackmail as a fetish, but do we have any real bad stories? If the person is seeking to be blackmailed, then even if it goes "bad", they won't write on this thread to stop blackmail because its dangerous. They know they got what they were playing with, and they were prepared for the worst. If they weren't, they wouldn't have been asking to be blackmailed. Catch my drift?

Faskwa said:

Also note "of demanding money from someone in return for not revealing compromising information which one has about them." If money isn't involved it can be argued that its not "real" blackmail. Also, everyone here is hypothesizing of what can go wrong from blackmail as a fetish, but do we have any real bad stories? If the person is seeking to be blackmailed, then even if it goes "bad", they won't write on this thread to stop blackmail because its dangerous. They know they got what they were playing with, and they were prepared for the worst. If they weren't, they wouldn't have been asking to be blackmailed. Catch my drift?

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Faskwa you obviously don't know what you are talking about.

"Blackmail is an act, often a crime, involving unjustified threats to make a gain or cause loss to another unless a demand is met. It may be defined as coercion involving threats of physical harm, threat of criminal prosecution, or threats for the purposes of taking the person's money or property."

As you can see by the definition, "true" blackmail doesn't always involve monitary gains.

As for real stories, just because you don't hear about them being posted all over here doesn't make them true right? Wrong. Most people who have a bad experience are forced to go along with it to the end. After that all they want is to run as far away as possible. So you won't hear their stories often. Fetlife.com has had more people come out talking about what has happened to them because the community there will tear the blackmailer to metaphorical shreds.

Your post here sounds like someone saying, "If she didn't want to fuck someone, why did she wear such a skimpy outfit?" I hope you realize that is unacceptable.

Blackmail can be fun if done properly with 2 consenting people. I know when i do blackmail i build trust before I would ever consider blackmailing any one. I will respect all limits and also only set a time period were the blackmail will last for example 2 weeks to start with then increasing the time as the relationship grows. I use blackmail as a term of roleplay. Bdsm is suppose to be fun for all people taking part so i will never force someone to do something they did not want too.

I am trying to say is real blackmail = bad
Fun consenual blackmail = good

That is my opinion though i know others will see it differantly.

Joyce

I suppose if you look at it that way. I wouldnt want anyone to be really blackmailed and expossed. That is not cool.
I guess its the usual that some stupid people ruin it for the rest.

But to protect people sound be the no.1 priority so if it needs banned it needs banned.

I would contend that "blackmail role play" is a totally legitimate kink and amongst trusted partners it can be fine. Lets stop using the term "consensual blackmail" as it conveys the wrong message that somehow a non-consensual activity is ok. I see this in the same light as "rape role play", something that is pretty common but often mistakenly labelled "consensual rape". Rape by definition is non-consensual but to role play it is a totally different activity constrained by rules and with safe guards in place.
The problem as I see it comes when new players arrive here and don't understand that differential. While it might seem like a cool and edgy idea to begin with they may soon find themselves in too deep with no recourse especially if they happened to get mixed up with someone unscrupulous.
Remember people, nobody vets the members here and while most are great folks there are, as always some rotten apples in the barrel.
Treat this like any other "real life" encounter because in effect that is what it is (or can be if you give up the wrong information) , be cautious and get to know your play partners before you entrust them with your life.

droptokon said:

I would contend that "blackmail role play" is a totally legitimate kink and amongst trusted partners it can be fine. Lets stop using the term "consensual blackmail" as it conveys the wrong message that somehow a non-consensual activity is ok. I see this in the same light as "rape role play", something that is pretty common but often mistakenly labelled "consensual rape". Rape by definition is non-consensual but to role play it is a totally different activity constrained by rules and with safe guards in place.
The problem as I see it comes when new players arrive here and don't understand that differential. While it might seem like a cool and edgy idea to begin with they may soon find themselves in too deep with no recourse especially if they happened to get mixed up with someone unscrupulous.
Remember people, nobody vets the members here and while most are great folks there are, as always some rotten apples in the barrel.
Treat this like any other "real life" encounter because in effect that is what it is (or can be if you give up the wrong information) , be cautious and get to know your play partners before you entrust them with your life.

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100% agree with what you say maybe consenual blackmail isn't the best way to describe it and saying blackmail roleplay is a better way to put it. As I said no matter what kind of bdsm activity you do you need to gain and earn trust. Some aspect more than others but trust is important in all bdsm. But I do 100% agree with what you are saying.

@droptokon sorry for a late answer in this topic but I totally agree with you. I will keep that in mind "role play blackmail" and not "consensual" because that is exactly how I see it. I wouldn't be that stupid, and never was, to offer personal info, contacts to be blackmailed with. I experienced blackmail before and offered my online secrets, (not as lies as it would sound, I put my soul in my online life, I could be very affected by the right punishment)

Just a set of ideas.
If you want to get into a roleplay blackmail start with the following:

-try to make yourself a secondary email address and use it when subscribing to kinky websites. Why use your personal or work email in the domains you don't want others to find out about your kinks?
- NEVER use your personal social account: facebook, twitter etc.
- create new accounts and socialize with new online friends.
- if you like teamviewer start with cleaning your laptop a bit. Some have more than one computer so keep one for your kinks only. Keep a few photos if you like but none with your family or close friends. Google image search might relate your photos and get into real blackmail so avoid it.

Now if you agree to be blackmailed you can be honest to your future master/mistress. You will both agree that you
- won't give any access to info about your family/friends (actually if you mention your family/friends you will not be trusted and your blackmailer would be tented to check them in the first place)
- won't send money as part of the blackmail (just don't talk about it, this is the same as winning money from Nigeria in your email spam)
Because the master should understand your fears/limits and the roleplay idea.

Where are the thrills then?

They are, you would feel them.
Give access to everything you've built. Give access to your game accounts (where you don't play with offline friends).

The more interest you put into your web life the more you will fear to lose control of it. The blackmailer can ask for access to your accounts. You can loose access to a game account where you are level 70 (I forgot to mention: never use payed accounts like wow or anything, you can loose it for good. Just games you are fond about and you don't loose anything material, but make you angry). Loose access to an email account where you have some online friends (strangers but you had some nice conversation).

Some people are ok with sharing photos or webcams. Usually submitting to an online master can make you chicken out. In a blackmail relation the sub cannot quit this easy, without punish.

And the most important: establish safe exit rules from the beginning. If you want to end it, the blackmailer will accept it. The fun is you will resist as much as you can until you ask for the safe exit because then the fun would end.

Hope these ideas help you not see blackmail this bad. What do you think?