What would be your reply if your mother/sister/daughter said this?

Mother says to her son, "Honey, it's your eighteenth birthday and I am going to give you something that I know you have been wanting. I reserved the "Honeymoon Suite" at the Resort Hotel for three days and two nights. I purchased a new black thong bikini just for this occasion to wear when we go swimming in the pool. Later on in the evening, I am going to wear my sexy low-cut black dress. We will have dinner together and afterwards go dancing and have a few drinks."



Mother continues, "About midnight, we will retire for the evening to our room where I will do a strip tease for you. After I am naked, you can do anything you want to me, or you can treat me like a prostitute and tell me to perform oral sex on you. Is that something that you would like for your birthday? If you don't want to spend the weekend with me, it will be okay. Maybe I shouldn't have offered you what I did. Well, don't just sit there quietly while starring at me with your mouth open, do you want to spend the weekend with me or not?"

Married older daughter says to her father, "Dad, my husband and I are delighted that you stopped by to see us while you are in town on a business trip. It's getting late, why don't you spend the night with us?"

Her father replies, "Well, you only have one bedroom, but the couch looks comfortable enough. I will accept your offer and stay."

[The daughter gently grasps her father's hand then leads him to the bedroom and closes the door.]



The father says, "Honey, what are you doing?"

Daughter replies, "Dad, you are a guest in our home and my husband and I will not have you sleeping on the couch. I told him spend the night in the living room and you will be sleeping with me."

The father nervously says, "I see that you are preparing to put on something to sleep in tonight. I bet you are like your mother and like flannel pajamas."

Daughter replies, "No, I don't like flannel pajamas. I sleep in the nude and think you should too. Don't worry about the bed banging against the wall and the squeaky springs. My husband is a heavy sleeper."

Honey, thanks for letting Daddy take a few pictures of you sitting outside on a picnic table at the County Park. Now, I can email them to the people I work with. I have been telling them that you are a beautiful young woman and should be in magazines, but they don't believe me.

"Daddy, that was sweet of you to say. Would you like me to take my clothes off so you can send nude photos of me to them?"

Honey, that was nice of you to ask, but this is a public place and there are people walking around.

"Daddy, I don't care if people see me naked. Do you want to take pictures of me or not?"

Daddy, I see you are playing poker with your friends.

I don't want to interrupt anything, but can I show my new tattoo to them?

It would mean a lot to me to know if they like it or not.

One man says, "That's a very nice tattoo young lady." The others also make flattering comments.

Thank you!

Do you guys want me to be your waitress and serve drinks for the rest of the evening?

It will give you a chance to look at the tattoo close up when I'm standing next to you.

Daddy, will that be okay ?

Thanks Daddy for the new computer.

Get a chair and sit next to me.

We will learn how to use it together.

Dad, thanks for taking pictures of me topless to post on my facebook account.

I want some completely nude pictures also, but we are at the County Park and there are a lot of people here today.

Do you think that I should take my dress off and walk around naked?

Do you like my new dress?



I purchased it with the money my father gave me last Friday.

He drives over a hundred miles each week to visit me.

We go out for dinner and dancing then spend the night in a motel room.

My mother objects to our relationship, but I don't care.

The next morning, my father takes a shower and gets dressed, then writes me a check and leaves it on the night stand.

I suppose some people would say that I'm a prostitute.

Well, if anybody every did say that to me, I would reply, "All of my girlfriends receive weekly allowance spending money from their parents and they do nothing to earn it. I'm a responsible person and willing to accept a monetary award for services provided."



Anyway, do think my father will like my new dress?

I bet when I model it for him like this, he will say, "Honey, you look good enough to eat."