Scared of a threesome! Am I mad?

FingerAce

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Pretty much since I was 16 (nine years ago) I've dreamed of getting the chance to experience a threesome, now the chance has come and I'm terrified!

I've been with my girlfiend for about five years now and we have talked about it several times, a few weeks ago we was talking to female friend of ours about it and she wants to give it a go.

I was so excited about this at first but now I'm getting really worried, I've always been about giving more than recieving and I'm worried I'm not going to be able to please both of them.

Any advice would be really appreciated or am I just mad.
 

softpink627

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Apr 2, 2010
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Well honestly I don't think it's a good idea simply because youre serious about ur gf. Everyone that I know that has had a threesome with someone they loved, something bad came out of it. I would say go with ur gut because obviously something about it feels wrong to u. But I mean if ur both freaks then I guess u could go for it but there could be consequences for it. All I know is that if I was with my bf for 5 years and I was serious about him, I wouldn't do it.

But good luck!!!!

And if u do decide to do it..... Just be safe!!
 

SubMissChievous

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My advice goes pretty much in the same direction as softpink. If it feels wrong then don't do it. At least not now.

Bringing in an "outsider" is something that I think really needs to be discussed a lot and that both partners are sure that they are on the same page about it. Whatever is scaring you, you must tell them to your girlfriend about it.

This fantasy is a common one but not everyone can "handle" it and when some things are kept inside or not clear then, yes, it can go wrong. I wouldn't go as far as to say that inevitably something bad is gonna happen. I've had some experiences like this that went fine although it was not as awesome as I was expecting it to be either. And yes when feelings are invoved it's important to be extra careful and understand how each other are feeling about it beforehand.
 

FingerAce

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Thanks both of you for your advice, your right this isn't something I should rush in to, especially the fact it would be with a long term friend seems to have trouble spelt all over it!
 

GoogleMaster

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I am going to have to wade in here a little. I have had a few threesomes while in a committed relationship and it was not a terrible thing. I get nervous before any new partner so I can sympathizes with you there. The absolute key, is honestly and openness. Tell your partner what you are feeling; "I am so turned on by this idea but now that it is close I am scared." Asking her how she feels is important. Threesomes are amazing, but only when they enhance a strong open relationship, not when they interfere with one. All parties need to go slow, and test their own boundaries. It must become ok to say "stop, I am uncomfortable."

Have Fun!
 

HelloToast

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if your uncomfortable with it i wouldnt go for it.
even though you get turned on by the idea, it doesnt mean you are ready, especially if you are in a serious relationship
 

Stitch

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Everyone has their ifs and buts about threesomes and it is normal for you to feel nervous. Communication is essential if you want your first experience to be a positive one.

Personally, I think threesomes are such a difficult topic because it goes against the norm. People expect sexual activities to be between a couple and the couple only. There has actually been studies to show that men feel more comfortable with threesomes because of the way men think. (This is just a sweeping generalization. Nothing personal. :)) Men would normally think along the lines of... 'Hey... if one girl can do so much for me, I wonder what two would be like.' Of course, this theory is just something someone have noticed and decided to say out loud.

I would suggest that before you guys meet up 'for the real thing', talk about it together. Discuss what you want to happen and tell both of them how you feel about it. They are probably just as nervous as you are.
 
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mastersgirl616

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never do something unless you are completely ok with it and do some thinking to see is that the only reason that you dont want to do it. there may be underlying issues that you havent thought through yet, and my advice should you still only worry that you cant please both at once? well you will never know unless you try x
 

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