Taking things up a notch

Kitten_571

Kinky Newbie
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May 29, 2014
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I know there are a few similar posts in here already, but in looking for advice and would hate to overrun someone else's search for advice too, so...

When my partner and I originally got together, he really struggled to maintain his erection, and when he did he couldn't cum. We talked about it, and he explained that he was incredibly nervous about sleeping with me because he was worried that I'd freak out and end the relationship early on because of his 'interests'. We talked and discovered that our sexual preferences (?) were very similar. Now, further down the line, our sex has improved massively and we're comfortably settled into a very happy relationship.

The reason for my post today though is that I feel like we've kind of hit a wall. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very happy with him, but I want to take things up a notch - to experiment a little more now and to integrate more of our sexual relationship into our lifestyle in general - but I don't know how to bring this up...

I've always found it difficult to express my feelings about such things, and part of me feels that as he is the dominant partner in our relationship, it's not really my place to bring this up? So some advice...how can I broach this subject, or how can I hint to him so he'll come to that conclusion himself?
 

harcoremaster

Banned
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  • Dominant
Apr 22, 2014
35
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firstly hitting a wall means that ur sex life is getting mainstream and thats a big big problem since ur mind convince urself ur happy but ur body is not satisfied and the lust of body is stronger than the will of mind...that said. even tho he is the "dominant" part ( altho he doesnt seem dominant cuz he was "nervous") u can still bring up subjects easily for example if u are sub or like to be tied with ropes or stuff go watch porn and make sure he catch you doing that, or u can just confront him telling him one of ur friends had this experiance and u wanna try it out...pretty much most relations end cuz of the stallness it gets ....sex life is an important part and u should keep it alive..happy sex = happy life...even if he didnt appreciate u bringing up something naughty he later will cuz the reactions that u will get from ur body will be great...its like wanting an icecream and finally having it.
 

Dom6BDSM

Senior Kink Talk Member
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  • Dominant
Mar 24, 2011
156
7
18
North Europe
I've always found it difficult to express my feelings about such things, and part of me feels that as he is the dominant partner in our relationship, it's not really my place to bring this up? So some advice...how can I broach this subject, or how can I hint to him so he'll come to that conclusion himself?

Just ask him.

A good relationship is about communication. If you cant communicate its doomed.

So ask him - "I love it when you use me and treat me like your slave - how are you gonna use me the next time ?"
 

Kitten_571

Kinky Newbie
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May 29, 2014
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Thanks guys. I think I just needed some reassurance that this was something u could just bring up with him. I feel so comfortable to talk to him about anything usually, but it's like I can't get my words out when it comes to things like this.
 

Sharp Shooter

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May 17, 2014
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Thanks guys. I think I just needed some reassurance that this was something u could just bring up with him. I feel so comfortable to talk to him about anything usually, but it's like I can't get my words out when it comes to things like this.

Then write it in a letter. That way you won't forget or skip over things because you're nervous or possibly misreading his reaction if you were to talk with him about this. Be organized and get the basics out there, then once you've aired everything, you can more easily talk.

Don't be apologetic or full of excuses, like "I know you'll think this is sick but I like ...." Don't tell him how you expect him to think. Just say what YOU like and trust that he's openminded and cares about you enough to want to "wallow in your pond of depravity" with you for a bit longer. :)
 

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