Bringing in Swinging

MNM

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Private
Jun 27, 2008
15
2
0
At what point in a relationship do you feel it is appropriate to broach the subject of participating in swingers' activities?
 

Merlin

Moderator
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Staff member
Jan 9, 2008
278
155
43
Germany
if you talk about sexual preferences ... meaning quite at the beginning. Later the chance to produce the "you are not enough for me and i need some others" feeling is higher if you ask me. At the beginning it is easier to make clear that it has nothing to do with him.
 

avpr

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
May 6, 2008
3
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I agree with Merlin. If swinging is an important part of your life and you'd have problems being within a relationship with someone who didn't like the idea - then best you don't get in a relationship with such a person in the first place.

As part of your flirting behaviour you need to make people aware that you are someone who's sexually experimental - that way you will frighten away those who aren't cool about it and attract those who are both interested in it and in having a relationship with you. Obviously you need to do this in a sexually attractive way - if you just blurt it out then you'll frighten off everyone!

If you don't make it clear from the start you are likely to cause a lot of problems for yourself. It's easier to start relationships with people who are already in to sexual experimentation than to 'convert' someone who thinks it's weird.

I have often been surprised by how many people will admit to having tried, or who want to try, mild BDSM, bisexual experimentation and threesomes and will admit to it in a flirting type situation. I'm sure the same holds true for swinging.
 

Simplyme

Kink Talk Member
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Private
May 13, 2008
75
1
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Gotta take the side of the majority. Get your preferences out in the beginning even if you are worried it will scare them off. Honestly, if you really like this person are you going to be able to give up the lifestyle to keep them later on? Highly unlikely so get it out of the way if they do not go running you are in like Flynn.
 

Dementyia

Kink Talk Member
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Dominant
May 14, 2008
42
2
0
*agree* Blatant honesty right off has saved me a lot of trouble and heartache later on, and my potential partners have thanked me for my frankness later.
 

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