New and a sub with my first dom

Subgirl90 · Sep 4, 2015

Hello. I am new to the world of BDSM but have always wanted to be a part of it. I currently have a dom who lives states away from me and our only play is over the phone or over a video game we share. He is 49 and I am 25. The age difference first was hard to get over but I soon realized that men his age are well-seasoned and know what a woman needs. I am in love with my dom and he gives me everything I need sexually. He also cherishes me and loves me as well. But he has this animalistic hunger for me and needs to dominate and control me as much as possible. I have to say sometimes he is too intense and frightens me but it's an exciting fright. He would never do anything to harm me unless I wanted it.
I do have a delimma. I am stuck between two worlds. I am currently married to a man who I love but he can't feed this hunger I have. I am also in love with my dom. I wish my husband could share me cause I want to have them both. I have a three year old and cannot risk him getting caught in a mess between a divorce and a 49 yr old step father. I am currently finishing my degree in psychology (ironic, lol) and I just know it wouldn't be good for my son to do all this. I wonder if there is a way I might be able to come to my husband with a way to see if he might share me. I doubt he will, but I wonder if I can try?

My dom is everything to me. I tried to give him up and it is impossible. It is like he has a rope tied around my gut and I melt and become paralyzed and I cannot do anything unless his voice commands me. My husband could never do this for me like my dom can. But my husband is my emotional strength and I need him. But I also need my dom.

Just the other day we tried something new...he had me put pool balls in my pussy and ping pong balls in my ass and push them out for him. He then commanded me to put a pool ball in my pussy and go to church, lol. I am not used to doing things like this and its that itch Ive been needing to scratch.

Anyway, gad to be a part of this forum and look forward to ideas and responses.

Monres · Sep 4, 2015

If you're torn between what to do, why don't you be a good little girl and try a new Dom? I'm younger and I can still give you what you need.

Subgirl90 · Sep 4, 2015

Monres:

Kind of you, but my dom wont allow sharing, he only allows my husband as an exception

df6wen · Sep 4, 2015

Well you could always ask your husband how he feels about it. Open and polygamous relationships are more and more common now and younger people are often more receptive to them. Either way you need to be open and honest with all parties. Anything less is cheating and not worthy of the love you are given in return.

CuriouslyInterested · Sep 4, 2015

Monres said:
If you're torn between what to do, why don't you be a good little girl and try a new Dom? I'm younger and I can still give you what you need.

This is assanine and shows no respect to anyone, not this or other subs, not other doms and not even yourself as you look desperate for a sub. If you want to be treated seriously, try acting seriously.

Evidently you are looking for a Female sub but haven't found one for a multitude of reasons...there are more than a few male slaves looking for someone, a few male dominants looking for subs too, they can get you off so therefore will satisfy your needs. Oh wait? That's not what you're looking for or asked for, or even remotely relative to what you've posted????

If someone is telling you they can't decide to purchase a new car when their old one is still functional, just lacking certain options they feel they need, offering to drive them around doesn't solve their problem. They still have the car that works and they're attached to. Plus you're not omnipotent, you have have no clue what she needs.

Subgirl, you have 2 options, either keep the relationship a secret, or try to bring your husband into understanding your need for the domination, and that itself is going to require you deciding the best way to approach it. I also imagine it will be very dependant on if you choose to keep the submission to your Dom in an online scenario or if you would like to move into facing your Dom in person. Some men might be able to cope with you talking and or sending pictures sexually with other men, some may feel quite threatened by it. You have a complicated position because you are not just asking his acceptance of you having another partner or sorts, you already have that a relationship behind his back which is going to cause him pain, even if he can accept you having an online dominant. In the end, you're going to have to decide what you can cope with and what you cannot, including losing one man or the other, submitting vs not, and your marriage or not. Continuing the relationship in the secrecy is risking things already.

romancer · Sep 4, 2015

I know of a woman who is a sub with a Dom and a husband. The Dom scratches the itch she needs not only to sexually used but also to be dominated. However she lives in fear of her husband finding out so confines her playing to when he is away.
Your predicament is similar, except I figure your husband is possibly more attentive.
For me the main concern is your son. He must come first, no matter how much you need to be sub his needs must outweigh yours, you and your husband created him so there must have been some spark there at that time, or were you too young ?

One other thing comes to mind: is your Dom so keen to keep you because he cannot believe his luck in getting such a young sub. Would he be so keen if you were ten or fifteen years older?

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