Desperately need advice. Please help

anon_girl

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Jan 27, 2018
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Hi,

I need some advice. I've been in a bdsm relationship for about 8 months now. It's my first one ever, when I started it I was extremely new to all of this and had very little idea what I was doing. When the relationship started, he told me I needed to show him what I looked like, just my face. I didn't know any better and figured this was normal. Since then I have shared naked pictures and videos and stuff as well. Eventually we started talking on skype. On my skype I had my full name and phone number. I didn't even realize that when I gave it to him, I know now that was pretty dumb of me though. From my name, he was able to find me on Facebook. For the past month or so, he's been threatening me with this information. He's been getting me to do tasks I'm extremely uncomfortable with and would never do otherwise. I'm very very scared and I'm not sure what to do. I've tried talking to him multiple times explaining that I don't like this. I was hoping someone here would have an idea that could help.

I'm also posting this on an anonymous account because I don't want my master to see it and know it's me. He doesn't use the site often, he hasn't been on here in like 2 months, but just in case.
 

azsubbie8

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Apr 11, 2015
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Arizona
You can always take him to court and sue him if he does anything without your consent... unless you signed a contract allowing this?
 

Bigbadjohn86

Senior Kink Talk Member
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Nov 21, 2017
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meet up with him with a few male friends and chop his balls off haha
 

DommaleSubgal

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Sep 10, 2017
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Hi

Tell him that you're no longer going to follow his orders, that our interactions are no longer consentual. You went to a lawyer and if he continues to blackmail and extort you, you are going to have a lawyer subpoena the information connected to his accounts to find out his identity so you can charge him with crimes of blackmail, extortion and sexual harassment. Make sure to record evidence of his attempted extortion. Record your messages and even your skype calls so that you have proof of his identity so he can't claim someone else was using his accounts. If he outs you anyway, make good on your threats to go to a lawyer. Perhaps you should actually call a lawyer and get a free consultation before making these threats to him is my advice.

Good luck!
 

Bigbadjohn86

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Nov 21, 2017
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i know its serious

but still think ya should arrange to meet him and chop his balls off
 

nina

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Apr 13, 2016
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I feel you should not follow his orders any longer out of fear as there is no end to such extortion. Instead take damage control steps like beef up the privacy settings on your fb account such that he can't access/view your wall, your contacts etc and other such necessary steps and don't give him any other new information because of fear. It is better to face the limited consequences now than to be more extorted and I'm sure you'll get out of the mess. Chances are he doesn't have much against you and is only trying to take advantage of the situation. And like mentioned above do retain some evidence and get legal advice or even consider reporting him to the authorities! Talk to a close trustworthy real life acquaintance like a sister etc if it helps!

Take Care! Wish you luck!
 

Master Vagrant

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Feb 23, 2014
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In my sub's mind
Sadly you learned that not all Masters are good ones. Also, in future, you should create messenger, any suitable for you just for this, and email address, without any personal information. If you want to share pictures, i know you are new, i always advice to a girl not to put face and naked body on same picture. Naked ones if you want to send, should be faceless, and ones with face should be in normal outfit, so no one will really know that naked person is you. Also avoid to show any recognizable body marks.
As for him, since your conversation is online, skype, fb, etc, doubt he live near her so idea to send few guys to cut his balls is probably out of picture. If he dont want to stop, you should say that you will report him, that could scare most of people. But if you are legal age and you sent your pictures, and still didnt do any illegal thing, i doubt you can do so much. My advice is to stop any further contact and delete skype, fb, and just move with your life. I know this will ruin your view on this lifestyle, most girls get bad experience on start, but dont stop, you will find one to whom you will trust and who will be nice to you.

Best of luck :)
 

nina

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but still think ya should arrange to meet him and chop his balls off

cut off his balls

Dude, you made your point..:rolleyes:

According to me, the answer to any crime can never be another crime, well.. unless you can prove it was in self defence..lol.. jokes apart
As for him, since your conversation is online, skype, fb, etc, doubt he live near her so idea to send few guys to cut his balls is probably out of picture. If he dont want to stop, you should say that you will report him, that could scare most of people. But if you are legal age and you sent your pictures, and still didnt do any illegal thing, i doubt you can do so much. My advice is to stop any further contact and delete skype, fb, and just move with your life.
While I agree that once you tell him that you'd report him and cutoff all contact with him, he will probably leave you alone and move on. However, being of legal age and sending pictures only shows that the relationship was once consensual. It does not shield him from blackmailing and coercing you now into following his sexually explicit orders lest he would leak the pictures etc or destroy your social image etc. This is very much a crime and you have legal options, if required!

Also if most of the coercion was through Skype etc.. online message trail can be easily tracked and it should not be difficult for you to prove that the latter part of the relationship was non consensual and a blackmail if need arises. So instead of deleting accounts, better to block him so you still retain evidence at your end though I am sure there must be mechanisms for authorities to retrieve deleted messages in such cases.
 
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subzzzero

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Dec 6, 2015
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The fact you keep sending pics could be misconstrued as consent. Start off with capturing screens of convos on your skype kik and whatever other messengers you're using. This will help prove that he was extorting and blackmailing you should the time arise you need such evidence. Next. Inform him you no longer wish to participate and that you feel he is taking advantage of the situation. You no longer wish to serve or continue any type of a relationship. Be very clear that you do not consent to his keeping or distributing of your images and content and make certain you have those screenshots saved as well.
Lockdown your Facebook settings tight. Don't accept new unknown friends that seem fishy as it may be him trying to sneak in. Be sure that you block him on skype kik etc. As suggested by others you should have a burner anon type account for lifestyle stuff. Generic screen names pics etc. kik Skype yahoo whatever you use. Don't include your real name or any other personal info. A real Dom will be willing to get to know you through conversation regardless. Also keep in mind any pics you share even clean ones don't have them attached to Facebook or other places. A reverse image search can reveal all those other places you've used it allowing people to link your kink stuff to vanilla accounts.

As far as the guy following through on his threats. He won't. Most guys don't. the penalty is getting higher for guys found guilty of such acts and the Internet trail is so easily obtained when investigators start looking into it. More than likely he will do what most others do when you stop all contact. He'll see he's getting no results and he'll move on. Each time you give him attention read a message or complete an action to hold off his blackmail you just feed into it and confirm to him this is a proven way to get you to do stuff for him. A real dom will never violate your limits. They also won't blackmail you unless you have that as link. Even then it's done totally different than this.
This story is all too common for newcomers and how there's a large portion of fake doms preying on those who don't yet know better. I've helped lots of girls Escape clear of guys like this. don't let him fool you. He's not in control not one bit. You can shut him down at anytime. Keep your head up. Handle this mess and after time you'll be ready to explore again. Unfortunately the lifestyle is full of experiences both good and bad. Take the bad ones as a lesson learned and you'll be better prepared for next time. Good luck on your journey. If you ever need help feel free to ask.
 

An inactive user

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Lawyer

I'd say go to a lawyer directly. Explain the situation and bring proof with you. Let the lawyer contact him on your behalf to let him know that you are not consenting to the agreement anyone and that if he will continue to contact you for pictures, or tries posting your pictures online legal action against him will be taken.

I would advise you to keep in mind that if he really is an ass he will spread your pictures and details to others. Maybe try to find a close relative or friend that you can trust this to, so that if he does something you'll have support. There's nothing worse i.m.h.o. then facing something like this on your own.
 

piesocial

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Nov 1, 2014
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Don't know much about the situation just what's posted here but it's possible he believes you are playing. That giving him personal info was your way of telling him you are into what he's trying to do. Try explaining to him, very patiently, that you did not intend play to go in this direction. Whether he knows that or not he'll be very hard to convince I think unless you use a safe word or cut off communication.
 

Tiden

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Jun 25, 2012
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This is so sad to read!
I cant say anything new i think, others said a lot before me. I think the bestidea is that if he wont stop you go with the lawyer. And stop every contact with that so called dom. And if he does anything (probably wont) you lawyer up.
 

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