Unsatisfied and wanting the true life of a submissive.

LostSub26

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Submissive
Sep 17, 2015
2
0
0
My husband and I have been married for 5 going on 6 years. At first our relationship was vanilla I guess the term is. Our kinky aide started off with spankings. It has progressed to hair pulling and a little choking. I want more variety of things we do. I mean I want the whole submissive package but he is I think a switch. Sometimes he wants me to be the Dom and it makes me uncomfortable. I don't like spanking him or saying dirty mean things. That's just not me. That's his position. At least in my mind. I've tried explaining this but he doesn't understand. I understand with both have needs in this aspect and I guess I could handle it as long as if when he's the dominant one he's actually dominant but it just doesn't feel that way. He says he doesn't want to do anymore than we are already doing. What should I do?
 

myplaytime

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
Nov 27, 2014
29
0
0
Read what you just wrote. "That's just not me." "That's his position." "At least in my mind." Reverse can also be true for him. You need to talk to each other and find a common ground so that you can both enjoy the experience.
 

Doctor Pervert

Retired
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
4,731
483
This is a tough one, as you are obviously aware if you don't have that urge to dominate you can't fake it or force it, it must come from inside. On the flip side if hubby is wanting to switch then his needs are valid but as this is all kinda new to you he hasn't really realised how it works. So often this is where problems come in relationships that include or are based on kink, there are such a wide variety of kinks and roles that full compatibility is very rare. And this is at the most fundamental level, the dom/sub/switch roles need to be clear for both of you to be happy.
One option that may or may not suit you is finding a part time play partner who can Domme for him (and possibly you to) however this obviously requires a lot of thought as there are many issues to deal with.
Pm me if you would like to discuss this further.
 

sophiaspanties

Banned
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Submissive
Sep 26, 2015
46
2
0
cherry hill
In what way do you want to be dominated exactly? The only thing I can really think of to make him more aggressive is to try and raise his testosterone and energy levels somehow. There's some super high quality Non steroidal nutrition products called Super Male Vitality, and Super Female Vitality that are specifically tailored to raising testosterone levels naturally. (He will love the product I'm telling you you have to buy it actually. I've used it myself! Also, get him on a cleaner diet, Just google testosterone boosting foods and put more of them in the house. Maybe get into the gym and have him attend. Raising your own testosterone levels might be good too. This seems counter intuitive but it should raise your own sex drive, energy, and aggression levels. Just read some reviews and see what you think.
 

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