how can i ask my girlfriend to be more dominant?

dinosaurus

Kinky Newbie
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Jan 5, 2011
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so, i have been seeing my girlfriend for around half a year and things are great.

my problem, or even concern lies in the bedroom. - i'm a sub (mayyybe switch) and am turned on by, and would like to get into more bdsm. i told my girlfriend this (kinda a big deal for me, being quite nervous etc) and she was surprisingly cool about it - she even told me that she wouldnt mind trying stuff out especially if she was the dominant in the play (woohoo!!!).

so this is all great so far. however when it comes down to it and there is an opportunity (i suggest some bondage and we play around with ropes etc) i think she starts to feel self conscious and we tend to return to non adventurous vanilla sex. now, im not complaining about this - its great- but i feel if she got over her inhibitions we would both enjoy ourselves much more.

i think its partly because she hasnt had many sexual partners and has only really started to feel comfortable about having normal sex since we have been going out.

i wasnt sure who to ask as its a pretty delicate issue - i dont think id ask friends.

so how can i make her feel more comfortable and experimental? i really want to give her (or for her to take) the power-and she seems into it- but at the moment with me suggesting what to do all the time it feels the other way around, which is not anywhere near as fun.

so thats the situation -PLEASE HELP!

any questions just ask.

thanks
 

SingelTGirl

Kink Talk Member
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  • Slave
Apr 21, 2011
56
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WI
Thats BS, No One Anwserd.

If You Two Didnt Get Thus Rezolved, I Hsve The Anwser.
You May Not Want To Do It But It Has To Be Done. Just Tell Her! Im Shure You Two Could Work Out Something Like Every Other Sexual Night With Eachother You Do BDSM, Then When Its Her Turn Do Some Vinnlia.
If You Think Youre Not Gunna Ask Her Then I Have Something For You,
Im Youre Temp. Master And You Must Go Ask!

Hugs,

Jessica K
 

MissKubo

Kink Talk Prodigy
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Submissive
Apr 15, 2011
523
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Make it nice for her - maybe arrange to finish work half a day early, cook her a nice three course meal and put a candle and flowers on the table. Strip down to just a waist apron and shackle yourself. When she gets home, you'll be her sexy slave waiter. After dinner, give her a nice neck and shoulder massage - hopefully the sight of you serving her virtually naked will have her wanting to get you into the bedroom nice and quickly - have some toys laid out, but include some nice things like a feather and a paintbrush to go with your blindfold and ballgag and make it pretty and romantic and she should get right into it and enjoy taking what she wants from you.

Hope this works for you, good luck!
 

kurious

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Dec 12, 2010
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Make sure she is relaxed and this is something she is keen to do! If shes is nervous or feeling pressured into doing it it probably won't work out...

Some wine with the dinner could help ;)
 

mistresslilly43

Senior Kink Talk Member
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  • Female
  • Dominant
Jan 8, 2011
119
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sydney
relaxed

now young man , firstly, this has to be done in stages or steps, as soon as you start pushing you will push her away ,
dont harp or whinge or keep asking , let it just happen , like sex ,you,ll know when you both want to have a good time and then you build on it
make it a game , write down a list of things that you want to enjoy, now do this in stages as well , the game can start bi using a dice and you list six things that you would like a domme to do , but dont go all out straight away , from 1 being forced to kiss her ass to 6 being fucked bi her,make the first stage silly little things that you both can enjoy, her making you pose, or lick or kiss a certain way , dress up or sex in different positions ,and as the game continues and you both have fun ,the stages can become more dominant
this can also be done with playing cards , shuffle a deck and split and turn the first card ,now you should have a list of things to go with the card number suit etc , and it makes it fun for both of you as you both dont know whats coming ,and the picture cards can be real fun , Jack -stroke that cock , queen - slip those panties on ,etc , make it fun and enjoy , take the pressure away and in time she will find her feet and then you,ll be complaining she is too:cool: harsh a domme bitch lol xxx
 

sarahamber

Senior Kink Talk Member
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Mar 30, 2011
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check out my posting for "The Dr. is in!" :) and i'll answer all questions there!
 

Jane143

Kinky Newbie
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Aug 6, 2012
15
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Just tell her...Well try not to push her much...Make her realize how much you fantasize it and how desperate you are to be the submissive one...
 

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