BDSM before losing virginity?

bimalecamslave

Kink Talk Member
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Submissive
Mar 26, 2014
90
1
8
What is your guys opinion on someone who wants to get into the BDSM scene who is still a virgin? Should I have vanilla sex before hand or is it not a big deal to jump right in. I know allot of people who take part in femdom dont actively have sex with the dom so would that make a difference as to whether it would be a bad idea or not.

Maybe I would have submissive sex with someone or maybe it would just be about control and limited physical contact would take place. I dont have any serious concerns or anything against losing my virginity in a certain way. While i value myself as a person i dont necessarily feel that my virginity is some special thing i have to wait to give to the right person.

I was a late bloomer and didn't really get sexually interested in females until around 16-17. Im 21 now and im a huge introvert and I have always had extreme social anxiety. Lately ive been aroused more than usual and im wanting to start participating in sexual activity be it vanilla or BDSM in any capacity involving intercourse or not.

Im just worried that maybe I should start with a "normal" relationship because ive never had a serious relationship and ive never done anything more than kiss a girl. Like even being near people talking about sex makes me feel uncomfortable and if its a female i start to shake feel very light headed. Now days its easier to meet people because of the internet.

Now my fantasies of being dominated by a female have been around for about 3 years, and ive researched and watched allot of stuff surrounding this and even had some online fun. So what do you guys think, is it a big deal to skip the whole "normal" dating relationship phase or not?
 

junkie4bdsm

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Private
Aug 14, 2016
12
0
1
Starting off

What is your guys opinion on someone who wants to get into the BDSM scene who is still a virgin? Should I have vanilla sex before hand or is it not a big deal to jump right in. I know allot of people who take part in femdom dont actively have sex with the dom so would that make a difference as to whether it would be a bad idea or not.

Maybe I would have submissive sex with someone or maybe it would just be about control and limited physical contact would take place. I dont have any serious concerns or anything against losing my virginity in a certain way. While i value myself as a person i dont necessarily feel that my virginity is some special thing i have to wait to give to the right person.

I was a late bloomer and didn't really get sexually interested in females until around 16-17. Im 21 now and im a huge introvert and I have always had extreme social anxiety. Lately ive been aroused more than usual and im wanting to start participating in sexual activity be it vanilla or BDSM in any capacity involving intercourse or not.

Im just worried that maybe I should start with a "normal" relationship because ive never had a serious relationship and ive never done anything more than kiss a girl. Like even being near people talking about sex makes me feel uncomfortable and if its a female i start to shake feel very light headed. Now days its easier to meet people because of the internet.

Now my fantasies of being dominated by a female have been around for about 3 years, and ive researched and watched allot of stuff surrounding this and even had some online fun. So what do you guys think, is it a big deal to skip the whole "normal" dating relationship phase or not?

Ok, hmm. I see your problem.

Think of it this way: what is normal?

If you mean straight and vanilla then keep reading. Let's pretend you are gay. You have known that you were since puberty. You are now 21 and a virgin. Would you have "straight " sex just because someone else says that it is normal? Probably not.

Now answer your question.
 

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