Moving forward

Every experience you have that doesn't work out gives both parties valuable experience for the next one. My advice would be just to be clear about what you want from a dom, and if you're a match, then great. If not, you're at least gaining experience.

Ok time for a bit of rant, and its not directed at the original poster, at least not directly.

First up, trying to equate what happens here with actual bdsm is pointless. What happens here is not in any way, shape or form bdsm, the majority of the people here are sideline wannabes who have never so much as lifted a crop or tied up more than their shoe laces!
My experience dealing with many (far too many) of the idiotic members that claim to be Doms, Dommes, subs or slaves is that the vast majority have seen a bit of bdsm porn and liked the idea. Thats it, no experience at all.

This place needs to be taken for what it has become, a digital playpen for the kik generation to get a quick jolly.

We try quite hard to filter the serious comment and discussion from the endless personal ads for but its a constant battle.

Finding someone you are truly compatible with SHOULD take months at least, more likely years. Bdsm is no different to any other relationship, it takes time to develop.

The way forward, look elsewhere, find your local community and attend a few munches. Get to know real people, not a bunch of fake digital personas and you will see that this is a reality. Armed with some actual experience you will easily be able to spot all the online fakes who have no idea what they are talking about.

hi
just keep walking keep fighting
and try to not get disappointed that much but it happens
keep in mind what positive things you learned and gained.
i hope next time might be better.

Kittykat24 said:

What's the point in going forward in this lifestyle when you're met with disappointment after disappointment? How do you move forward I guess is the better question

Click to expand...

I want to add to what has already been said about this site not being "REAL" bdsm, and that it might be in your advantage to get active in your local community.

I agree 100% that MOST people who are online looking for "BDSM" are actually wannabes or looking for masturbation fantasies. But there is also a small group of people on here (And Getdare the sister site to this one) who are REAL practitioners. These people are generally NOT close to you. And even if you are ok with just online but want a real connection with the person most people online WILL be fakes, or at best interested in something different than you are.

But you asked "how do you move forward?" Obviously real life is the best way to actually meet people around you. But after giving all the negative information about the people who are online, I hope you noticed that I used the word MOST people on almost all my points. So your chances of finding PLAY online is low. But "How do you move forward?" has 2 answers. The part about getting play partners has been addressed. The other answer is FIND FRIENDS. Now there are a lot of fakes on here, but if you look here (and on get dare) you will find people who are not fake and who put thought into their posts. These people can help you move forward and become friends.

finding sex partners might be almost impossible, but friends are much more important to move forward and are not as hard to find.

Harmlessbeast makes a good point here, getting to know people as friends can be a great thing. Just chatting to other subs or Doms to get to know more about the lifestyle, whats acceptable and whats not.
And he is also correct that there are indeed genuine bdsm folk here but they can be hard to spot. The best indicator is to read their posts, if they don't have any or they are all one liners then you move on.
The genuine folk will not resent questions they welcome them and will most likely be willing to offer you help and advice.