Just need to vent !

daremetodoit

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
Mar 24, 2013
29
2
0
Twice recently I've read on here about someone wanting to spread somebodys pictures and other information about them just to hurt that person or make themselves feel like they have some kind of power, I just want to say that's crap !!
If your in a Sub and Dom relationship and somebody trust you enough to send you pictures then you should respect that and not use it again them as a tool for power or some kind of vengeance against them ! ( and yes I am speeking from experience)
People just need to respect one another and don't cross that line.
 
  • Like
Reactions: pure_hearted_sub

daremetodoit

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
Mar 24, 2013
29
2
0
This is getting you reputation points :) people on this site are so heartless and cruel. As I've said, trust is fundamental in d/s relationships. I think so many subs are reluctant now because of things like this.

Thank you I just get tired of seeing how mean people can be.. And you're right trust is a major part of a relationship and once it's been broken it's hard to get back
 

Domineer

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
May 22, 2013
22
12
3
I agree... to the obvious

This is something that any dominant/submissive should conclude before even starting.

Even if the worst happens, if you get lied to, hurt, betrayed or fooled.

What was exchanged in private stays in private.

If people can't live up to that they shouldn't be here in the first place.
But, obviously, they are!

Hopefully people think twice about exchanging compromising material - but if they don't, there are a few strings to pull.

It's against the terms of this forum to post them here if it's non-consensual.

It's against the law in most countries that I know of for vengeful partners to post sexually explicit pictures of their former partners. Most countries are writing explicit laws on the matter these days but even without that it should be possible to win a case using the implicit laws alone.
 

mistresslilly43

Senior Kink Talk Member
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Dominant
Jan 8, 2011
119
2
0
sydney
relationship

It is the relationship between the Domme/mistress /Master and his or her sub
that creates a bond , And part of that bond is to explore and push the subs limits
But this has to be done in a constructive and positive way
agreed to between the D,M,M/s and used as something to gain pleasure for both parties , Sometimes posting a shy sub and then having them pay the price ,or learn the lesson ,and at their request ,removing their photos/poses
creates that tingle that the relationship seeks , Of course discretion comes to the fore ,Being mindful how much nowadays the Internet can influence and touch
Always work together ,but of course know your position
 

daremetodoit

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
Mar 24, 2013
29
2
0
This is getting you reputation points :) people on this site are so heartless and cruel. As I've said, trust is fundamental in d/s relationships. I think so many subs are reluctant now because of things like this.

It is the relationship between the Domme/mistress /Master and his or her sub
that creates a bond , And part of that bond is to explore and push the subs limits
But this has to be done in a constructive and positive way
agreed to between the D,M,M/s and used as something to gain pleasure for both parties , Sometimes posting a shy sub and then having them pay the price ,or learn the lesson ,and at their request ,removing their photos/poses
creates that tingle that the relationship seeks , Of course discretion comes to the fore ,Being mindful how much nowadays the Internet can influence and touch
Always work together ,but of course know your position

I agree that it can be used as a form of punishment but it should be talked about and agreed to first.
When this happened to me and that's why it makes me so angry that someone will do this out of vengeance I was just starting out
I was excited and eager to please it was a thrill to do pictures for her not knowing what she would do , but the first time I refused to do something she posted them on a few sites saying it was my punishment and to show me what kind of power she had.
That was definitely a wake up call for me and a lesson learned. I still like to do pictures but they don't include the face anymore
 
Last edited:

Komodo Jones

Kink Talk Member
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
May 27, 2009
39
3
8
I can speak from experience and contribute on this thread I guess. My ex-slave just recently dropped a second huge bomb on me. The first one, made my heart overflow with sorrow and this had been lasting for about two months. Monday, second bomb was dropped almost al that sorrow turned to rage, and I think for good reason. However, when we broke up I kept all the photos she gave me to I have kept just to remember her by. I'm really mad at her but I would never post those pictures of her online. Even though what I'm going to say is truly ironic regarding the situation, when she gave me those pictures she trusted me with them, and if I were to post them that would betray her trust and make me a total jerk which is now who I am. I told her numerous times that the only people would see those photos of her, even the vanilla ones, would be her and me, and that's a promise I don't intend on breaking. People who threaten to do this are immature children and should learn that people hurt people...it's a fact of life, just get over it and don't threaten to ruin someone's live just because they did you wrong.
 
  • Like
Reactions: pure_hearted_sub

DanHenceworth

Kink Talk Member
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
Dec 28, 2012
49
1
8
exeter
This is getting you reputation points :) people on this site are so heartless and cruel. As I've said, trust is fundamental in d/s relationships. I think so many subs are reluctant now because of things like this.

this is so true, i used to send quite a lot of pics until i came onto kinktalk and getdare, the amount of "blackmail" or "revenge" albums i saw shocked me alot so i now have pics as a pretty strong limit with 99% of people. its not the sites fault of course, just the nature of a minority on her, just like most things the minority ruin it for the majority
 
  • Like
Reactions: pure_hearted_sub

sum1

2
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jan 9, 2008
638
12
0
37
uk
Anyone who does this and I catch them is banned. A problem is determining photos where consent has been given for them to be up and where it hasn't.

Another issue I take with you saying that the mods could do more is the use of the plural there.
 

Domineer

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
May 22, 2013
22
12
3
Sometimes posting a shy sub and then having them pay the price ,or learn the lesson ,and at their request ,removing their photos/poses
creates that tingle that the relationship seeks ,
While I like the concept, it may not be possible to remove things from the net. Anything that is put on the public internet may be downloaded and spread elsewhere by other people. That's the main problem with online blackmail, the agreed terms can easily be broken by third party anonymous freaks.
 

daremetodoit

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
Mar 24, 2013
29
2
0
What I hope to happen is enough people read this thread and wake up to the problem that is going on its not just this site but others too.. People need to realize that it's not ok for someone to do this and not just turn their head when they come across it , stand up for for the person it's happening to if they are too scared and sometimes they unaware that it's happening . The moderators and admins can't see everything but the people in this community do.
Now granted some people get off on being blackmailed and other times it is prearanged but it doesn't hurt to ask questions
 

sum1

2
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jan 9, 2008
638
12
0
37
uk
I was being grumpy and feeling like I was the only staff member here.
 

madl

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jan 17, 2014
7
0
0
I was being grumpy and feeling like I was the only staff member here.

How do you become a mod (out of curiosity)? Are you a volunteer or paid or an owner/founder of the site?
 

sum1

2
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jan 9, 2008
638
12
0
37
uk
Maybe try dropping Depp a pm with an application. Don't think we've ever taken on mods directly on this site, always just had people carried over from getDare.

Edit
Meant to say yeah it's voluntary
 

evpierced

Banned
  • Straight
  • Trans
  • Switch
Mar 1, 2012
79
0
0
problem is that u take ur admin from spill over from getdare but u dont police the spill over from there that was banned and u let them right on here.
 

sum1

2
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jan 9, 2008
638
12
0
37
uk
problem is that u take ur admin from spill over from getdare but u dont police the spill over from there that was banned and u let them right on here.

Yeah. To do that though we'd need to have a mod who was active on both sites. I don't go there anymore and have scrambled the password for my account over there.
 

DanHenceworth

Kink Talk Member
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
Dec 28, 2012
49
1
8
exeter
i know on here im only a kinky newbie, but on Getdare im a distinguished member... and still very active on both sites (i dont post alot on here but ive been a member for a about 1 1/2 years now )
 

Katiemay

Kinky Newbie
  • Lesbian
  • Female
  • Dominant
Jun 2, 2014
7
1
0
Depends on the relationship.

If sub says private pics only etc. Then they will mostly likely stay private. As in very likely. The only case where they wouldn't is if the law needed involved.

If the sub gives up 100% control and domination to the dom then it can be used sometime after asking them or hinting at it and seeing what they say.

Of course if both have a kink for blackmail then it isn't an issue.


Basically it just depends, but it shouldn't be used without their consent, unless the dom specifies that they have full control over whether or not they keep them private beforehand
 

noone

Distinguished Member
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
Jan 3, 2013
276
1
0
This is something that any dominant/submissive should conclude before even starting.

Even if the worst happens, if you get lied to, hurt, betrayed or fooled.

What was exchanged in private stays in private.

If people can't live up to that they shouldn't be here in the first place.
But, obviously, they are!

Hopefully people think twice about exchanging compromising material - but if they don't, there are a few strings to pull.

It's against the terms of this forum to post them here if it's non-consensual.

It's against the law in most countries that I know of for vengeful partners to post sexually explicit pictures of their former partners. Most countries are writing explicit laws on the matter these days but even without that it should be possible to win a case using the implicit laws alone.
isnt there a like button or something? because i agree with him!
 

Featured Threads

New Personals