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  #19  
Old 04-11-2012, 07:42 AM
sarahamber sarahamber is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anonimousbob View Post
Plus I have to say from experience, that even a lack of confidence can be fine as long as you're honest. I've asked a girl out when totally terrified, but she saw that was the case and felt more flattered that I spoke to her when overcoming the nerves
But even though you were terrified, you showed confidence when approaching her. And that's what counts at the end of the day! I hope you two had fun together

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Originally Posted by anonimousbob View Post
You gave some good advise on the "how to find/meet someone special" topic, so hopefully you'll be able to help here.

What would you recommend with regards to asking out someone who is currently a friend. It's the typical chick-flick scenario of not wanting to ruin a friendship or make it awkward. She's not one of my closest friends, but still close enough to not want to lose it.
Well first thing's first, SEX WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING! PERIOD. The second you decide to take things further, your relationship will begin to change for better or for worse. So you need to decide before hand if it's something you want to pursue. However just because you make your situation sexual doesn't mean it will neccessarly get worse.

NOTE: your relationship will most likely end if you two fool around and then something causes a break between you two (ie. another girl), or more likely she wants something from your relationship that you dont want to give, and if that's the case the sex will ruin your friendship

The best way to change a relationship dynamic is to start being flirtatious. When you go from a chummy friendship to a flirtatious friendship, you begin to introduce sexual tenssion into the mix. From there my suggestion is ALCOHOL! You can really take flirting to a whole new level, and even suggestive when alcohol is in the mix.

The trick however is the big transition between flirting and either dating or fooling. Once your already flirtatious, and the sexual tension is there (she'll know that it's not a buddy buddy relationship by this) next step is ask her out for drinks, or invite her out with a group of your friends who she doesnt know, or even grab a bite to eat one night. The whole point is to get her isolated on a "out night" without any of your mutual friends present. From there the rest is history. Use your charm, and suggestive jokes, and at the end of the night, invite her up to your place just to hang out or grab an extra drink. If she says yes you're clear sailing, if she says shes tired, then make sure that she knows, this isnt a one night thing, and that you're going to be taking her out for another fun night in the near future.

CAUTIONARY TIP: There is a chance however that the girl just isnt that into you, and she only likes you as a friend and has no feeling towards you that way. If this is the case, you will know right away. If you try to be flirtatious at the beginning and she clearly doesnt want that kind of relationship, or hangs out with you less because the sexual tension you're trying to build, that's your cue! However, CONFIDENCE is the key here, and you almost have to lead her feelings. ie. Make the sexual tension, and change the dynamic of your relationship.

And that's the daily dose.
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  #20  
Old 04-12-2012, 02:31 AM
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You gave a great response last time, thanks, I have more questions to continue on from last time

I don't have an issue talking to women, it's only approaching them if I don't know them pretty much. Sometimes I will smile at girls and all they never smile back, always look sour, that doesn't help. If you make eye contact, they just look away and don't care. It really doesn't instil confidence or any reason for me to care. What purpose does that serve? Because honestly, it's quite stupid but I would go so far as to say it's a turn off because it honestly gives me the impression they are kind of bitchy. </Crazy Rant>

You suggest that the best way to meet them is through friends which is a brilliant response, I do find that near impossible though. What suggestions would you have if I was to try and go about it by myself? Where are the best places for a guy to go without relying on others?

It's quite stupid but it's very obvious that women have that attitude.

I don't really like bars and clubs and in my opinion, there are good looking girls in bars and clubs but I don't feel that most of them are what I am looking for/I don't feel it's the best environment to meet someone, not for me anyway so basically, it's the same as the question I asked in orange, where else can I go?
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  #21  
Old 04-12-2012, 12:28 PM
sarahamber sarahamber is offline
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Like I mentioned earlier, the best place to pick up is at a party/through a friend where girls are their most comfortable around "new people" and the other is a bar or club, where girls are there to be out and meet new people! That's not to say that you can't meet new people at a coffee shop or on the street, but put yourself in our shoes. You role out of bed, feeling like shit because you're tired and now have to go to work, and you have to put on all your work cloths and do up all your makeup, and grab your morning coffee, only for a guy to be pouring himself all over you? Sometimes it's just not the time or place!

Asking how to meet girls without friends, and without going to a place where girls go to meet people, would be like asking how do you make something to eat without going out or opening your fridge! Sure you could always find leftovers sitting around the house, or junk food in the cupboard, but eventually, you will need to go to that place where all the "food" is, or you will need to get "someone elses help" ie. a restaurant, or "a friend" to cook for you!

If i can give one piece of advice for approaching girls, and talking to someone you don't know (besides CONFIDENCE of course) it's to be genuine. Throwing around smiles can be ok, but if the girls sees it as you're just trying to get in her pants, a lot of times you'll just get over looked.

If you're not into the club or bar scene, and dont want to venture to meet people there, then you need to start going out with friends/ coworkers, and just meet new people through them. A girl will feel a lot more comfortable if she met you through an aquaintance, and there will be no awkward approach barrier or skeptic hesitation on her part that could exist at a bar.

And that's the daily dose!


Quote:
Originally Posted by fitsexyguy View Post
You gave a great response last time, thanks, I have more questions to continue on from last time

I don't have an issue talking to women, it's only approaching them if I don't know them pretty much. Sometimes I will smile at girls and all they never smile back, always look sour, that doesn't help. If you make eye contact, they just look away and don't care. It really doesn't instil confidence or any reason for me to care. What purpose does that serve? Because honestly, it's quite stupid but I would go so far as to say it's a turn off because it honestly gives me the impression they are kind of bitchy. </Crazy Rant>

You suggest that the best way to meet them is through friends which is a brilliant response, I do find that near impossible though. What suggestions would you have if I was to try and go about it by myself? Where are the best places for a guy to go without relying on others?

It's quite stupid but it's very obvious that women have that attitude.

I don't really like bars and clubs and in my opinion, there are good looking girls in bars and clubs but I don't feel that most of them are what I am looking for/I don't feel it's the best environment to meet someone, not for me anyway so basically, it's the same as the question I asked in orange, where else can I go?
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  #22  
Old 04-13-2012, 10:09 PM
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Another random question for the all knowing doctor:

Relationships are seemingly hard to find, but what if people just want a friend to fool around with, not have sex but just kiss, fondle, oral, etc.
How would you suggest a guy find a girl who is after that? What is the best was to approach a girl about it/go about having that kind of relationship?
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  #23  
Old 04-14-2012, 04:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CumSissy View Post
if you go on a first date with a girl to the movies and she doesnt give you a kiss goodnight what does it mean?
It means you should have been taken the action instead of waiting for it to happen.

Try this!

At the end of the evening, before she goes inside, tell your date:

"It's usually typical for a kiss to end a date but I hate being typical. I had just had the BEST date ever and anything else would be almost too much for me to handle. So I leave it up to you to decide how the date will end."

Now they will have to do something, either tell you how they felt about the date and whether they want to have another one really soon. They may ask you to caress their hand and arm or they may ask you to kiss them.

When you give the "responsibility" of ending the date to them, they know you have their feelings foremost in your heart and you'll be surprised how they may respond.
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  #24  
Old 04-14-2012, 08:59 PM
sarahamber sarahamber is offline
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woooo, this is actually a REALLY smooth move! I've never had it done to me, but it would definately work for all the reasons mentioned!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Memories for Life View Post
It means you should have been taken the action instead of waiting for it to happen.

Try this!

At the end of the evening, before she goes inside, tell your date:

"It's usually typical for a kiss to end a date but I hate being typical. I had just had the BEST date ever and anything else would be almost too much for me to handle. So I leave it up to you to decide how the date will end."

Now they will have to do something, either tell you how they felt about the date and whether they want to have another one really soon. They may ask you to caress their hand and arm or they may ask you to kiss them.

When you give the "responsibility" of ending the date to them, they know you have their feelings foremost in your heart and you'll be surprised how they may respond.
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  #25  
Old 04-15-2012, 09:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Memories for Life View Post
It means you should have been taken the action instead of waiting for it to happen.

Try this!

At the end of the evening, before she goes inside, tell your date:

"It's usually typical for a kiss to end a date but I hate being typical. I had just had the BEST date ever and anything else would be almost too much for me to handle. So I leave it up to you to decide how the date will end."

Now they will have to do something, either tell you how they felt about the date and whether they want to have another one really soon. They may ask you to caress their hand and arm or they may ask you to kiss them.

When you give the "responsibility" of ending the date to them, they know you have their feelings foremost in your heart and you'll be surprised how they may respond.
yeah that is genius fair does and nice thread sarah good to see someone taking the time to advise and actually give good advice at that interesting thread!
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