Hi all!
I was wondering why there is no thread about this very important matter in D/s relationship. As we discussed about that on getDare, I think this is the right place to talk about it.
There are many subs who are not being given much needed attention by their Doms/Dommes after the scene. While role playing, subs are often exposed to rough treatment, but after the scene is finished, subs may feel different psycho-physical disturbances such as guilt, worthlessness, being ashamed of themselves, with low esteem or even depressed, feeling overly tired, dehydrated, fatigued. Yes, it is very serious condition, caused by the hormonal disbalance, better known as the "Sub drop".
I'm sure many of you know what aftercare is, but for those who are not acquainted with that term, aftercare is the process of giving your (usually sub) partner needed physical or emotional attention after a play scene.
Just as subs experience different physical and emotional sensations after playing, good Doms have to provide various physical and emotional aftercare for their subs.
- Talk, talk, talk. Communications is very important before, during and after playing. Whatever scene you're creating and no matter how rough it can be, always make sure your partner is feeling secure, safe and loved. Talk about your previous scene, what you liked or disliked. Listen to each other and just try to be there for her/him.
- The power of Kiss and hug: being intimate with your partner, whether Dom or sub, doesn't always mean sex. Hold your partner in your arms, kiss and it will relieve you both of stress. Gently touch and caress her/his skin with your fingers,
Make your sub comfortable and cozy. Put a blanket over her/him and keep her/him warm and hydrated. Offer a glass of water and chocolate, as it will replenish the liquids, raise some blood sugar and release Oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone".
There are plenty of other means to provide your subs with care and as long as you're both happy after that, you're doing a great job!
Not only that it's important in real life relationship, it's important in online relationship as well. I had several subs that were feeling intense guilt and shame after playing, that I had to reassure them they had nothing to be ashamed of and that they were excellent subs and I enjoyed playing with them very much.
Subs are often neglected in online play, so I would like to start an "Aftercare clinic" which would deal in aftercare and where both Doms and subs could participate and exchange experiences.
Feel free to talk about your fears, thoughts or anything that makes you feel bad, sad or displeased. If you feel uncomfortable doing that in public, you can always send me a PM, I'll be more than glad to talk and help you.
I was wondering why there is no thread about this very important matter in D/s relationship. As we discussed about that on getDare, I think this is the right place to talk about it.
There are many subs who are not being given much needed attention by their Doms/Dommes after the scene. While role playing, subs are often exposed to rough treatment, but after the scene is finished, subs may feel different psycho-physical disturbances such as guilt, worthlessness, being ashamed of themselves, with low esteem or even depressed, feeling overly tired, dehydrated, fatigued. Yes, it is very serious condition, caused by the hormonal disbalance, better known as the "Sub drop".
I'm sure many of you know what aftercare is, but for those who are not acquainted with that term, aftercare is the process of giving your (usually sub) partner needed physical or emotional attention after a play scene.
Just as subs experience different physical and emotional sensations after playing, good Doms have to provide various physical and emotional aftercare for their subs.
- Talk, talk, talk. Communications is very important before, during and after playing. Whatever scene you're creating and no matter how rough it can be, always make sure your partner is feeling secure, safe and loved. Talk about your previous scene, what you liked or disliked. Listen to each other and just try to be there for her/him.
- The power of Kiss and hug: being intimate with your partner, whether Dom or sub, doesn't always mean sex. Hold your partner in your arms, kiss and it will relieve you both of stress. Gently touch and caress her/his skin with your fingers,
Make your sub comfortable and cozy. Put a blanket over her/him and keep her/him warm and hydrated. Offer a glass of water and chocolate, as it will replenish the liquids, raise some blood sugar and release Oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone".
There are plenty of other means to provide your subs with care and as long as you're both happy after that, you're doing a great job!
Not only that it's important in real life relationship, it's important in online relationship as well. I had several subs that were feeling intense guilt and shame after playing, that I had to reassure them they had nothing to be ashamed of and that they were excellent subs and I enjoyed playing with them very much.
Subs are often neglected in online play, so I would like to start an "Aftercare clinic" which would deal in aftercare and where both Doms and subs could participate and exchange experiences.
Feel free to talk about your fears, thoughts or anything that makes you feel bad, sad or displeased. If you feel uncomfortable doing that in public, you can always send me a PM, I'll be more than glad to talk and help you.