Is Cyber Sex sex?

Let me answer with a question. If you were (or are) in a monogamous relationship and caught him in bed with another woman - but all they were doing was masturbating - how would you feel?

Even thought they may not be in the same room they're still sharing the experience.

It's only masterbation...unless you told them that you love them.... it go deeper then

Hmmmm I would go with aided mastibation. Yes it sounds odd lol

At the end of the day its kind of interactive porn/erotic story so I guess it is a form of masturbation.

I've talked about it with my boy friend and have expressed that I would like to know if he was having cyber sex or cam etc with anyone else. Mainly because I wouldn't want him to feel ashamed or like he had to keep it a secret. If it became a frequent thing and replaced our sexual activity I would have issues with it but I am pretty open about it as long as an online relationship didn't occur with someone else. I wouldn't want to feel like he is filling gaps in our relationship with someone else.

Hope that all makes sense

On a basic level yes it's masturbation as you are not in direct physical contact with someone.

However emotions are still exchanged via text, images and sound depending on whether or not IM's, pictures, cams, speakers or phones are also involved.

I've done what I call basic cybering where I knew me and the lady I was playing with online were using each other only as an aid to getting off while masturbating.

But there have been a few situations were things got more serious and only the long distsance kept things from developing into a "real" relationship.

hellodarkness said:

It's only masterbation...unless you told them that you love them.... it go deeper then

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So if you masterbate with someone other than your S/O without saying you love them then it's not cheating?

I'd always thought about it as not cheating on your partner, but maybe it is :-/

I don't do it much, but I have a couple of times.

I think that H&L had the right response. If your other half was engaging in cybersex, how would you feel about it. Would you feel that they were cheating on you. Personally, I don't consider it cheating, but I'm sure that some would.

Nopes

I don't consider cyber sex real sex. Depending on the way you look at it, sex is something emotional you share with the one you love... online for me there is no emotion or true connection, it's more a way to masturbate.

My bf is cool with my cybering, yiffing and such... but it does have it's limits. The one thing that I know is that sex online and sex in real life are far apart and have far different meanings. Well, at least to me.

I would put cyber sex as a kink for masturbation.

lydiab6 said:

Is cyber sex sex, or is it a form of masturbation?

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Hmm? is masturbation a form of sex?

lydiab6 said:

If it is sex, is having it with someone other than your partner if you are in a monogamous relationship cheating?

If it is not sex, or masturbation, what is it?

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I think this really depends on each person and why they do it? I would tend to say like Sugar, I guess it?s kinda ?aided masturbation?, at least probably in most case?

Whether it?s cheating or not is hard to answer? of course, if both partners are aware of it and comfortable with it then it?s not. Where it gets problematic is when one person feels the need to do it behind their partners? back. I?m not really sure if ?cheating? would be the right term then? If I put myself in this particular situation then I guess it would depend on why it happened, how it happened, how often, etc. But in any circumstances I would feel a breach of trust and lack of communication for sure. So I?m not sure I would view it as proper cheating but I would be quite disappointed by the fact that the person would feel it necessary to hide it from me or that it is not something important that should be talked about.

lydiab6 said:

If it is masturbation, does it matter who you do it with or if your partner knows?

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Yes, and yes. It certainly does matter. It?s funny because even though I?ve been in an online relationship for more than a year now I?ve never considered what we do as cybering. Most likely because there?s a connection beyond the sexual aspect of the relationship. I guess I?m probably the opposite of Odineu: not only there has to be a connection but if it?s not there I?m not gonna be interested. When I first started getting on kink sites like here I got a few strictly sexual experiences online and I realized that it wasn?t for me.

So in all, I suppose whether it is cheating depends on the circumstances and how both partners feel about it.

I see cyber sex as just masturbation with help, while watching porn, reading x-rated mags, thoughts are one way to get off... When its cyber sex, and your speaking/typing to a actual person it can be a bit more fun...

As far as the other points i do not know since i do not have monogamous relationships, all of my relationships in some aspect have been poly, even if i had a gf which i did for 5 years, and still trained subs on the side, had my slaves, as well as fuck buddies, so cyber sex i suppose would be a step down from actual sex with others so i can not comment if it will hurt a monogamous relationship... some will look at it and say its just through a comp no big deal while others will say you getting off with some one else so its cheating. So i suppose depends on the relationship.

Per your second questions, i see it as masturbation with help...

My "partners" know i am not into monogamy, and have multiple sex partners, so masturbating through cyber sex they will not have any issue with (if the woman has a cam it is even more fun)

*answered your last question above*

Is it?

I think that if you're not sure if cyber sex is sex, you should ask your partner. Some people have very strong feelings (one way or the other) about that sort of thing. I'd say cyber sex generally falls in between flirting and mutual masturbation. Whether that's "real sex" or not, I suppose is up to the individual.

I wouldn't want my SO to have cyber sex with another person, at least not if there was an emotional attachment. On the other hand, I've had cyber sex just to pass the time without any erotic feelings happening. Again, it depends on the people and the context, I guess.

Its a form of sex for the 21st century hoho, yets face it you sharing sexual things with another person be it stranger or someone you getting close to. I have done cyber a few times over a webcam and through normal chat and its a fun experience.

Dominating someone over a webcam is really good, and have to admit a turn on which i didn`t think it would be. Controlling there orgasm from another place and just using the power of words to create or actions if on cam yourself such a strange but cool experience. Its amazing the effect you can have on someone when your not in the same room.

ANyways i consider it a form of sex, weather its cheating depends on how you view it. Its more interactive then any porn and if i was with someone and they did it with out my knowledge i would feel quite hurt. If we discussed it and she explained why she does it or why i do it and we are quite comfortable with it then i don`t see a problem.

If you don`t think its cheating tell her/him (and get ready to duck just in case) if your doing it secretly and you conisde it not cheating why aren`t you honest about it.

I wouldn`t do it if i was with someone, unless they said yes or joined in lol. Me single so can do it quite happily YAY

I agree with Chloe in that I would call masturbation a form of sex, too, so yes, I'd say it is, only moreso because you're sharing something with another person (and not your partner.)

Having said that, I have no qualms with cybersex in text form while with someone else, but would feel uneasy about it if it involved cam.