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Old 05-26-2016, 06:43 PM
Basefan Basefan is offline
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Default Thrown head first need help

I'm not what you would call the experienced with sexual matters, I've had two partners and they have both been rather vanilla. This new girl I'm with wants me to be dominant. I've never really considered myself into BDSM although, I often enjoy pornography having to do with female submission and slave training. I haven't really thought of pursuing it beyond that.

She wants me to make rules, dominate her and generally be a dom. I've never really done anything like this and would appreciate any assistance you could render.

I already have a safe word, but that's the extent of my knowledge. I know to keep safety first and what not but on the actually kink part I'm pretty clueless. I mean for fucks sake, I don't even feel anything during regular sex.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
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Old 06-12-2016, 06:53 PM
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HarmlessBeast HarmlessBeast is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Basefan View Post
I'm not what you would call the experienced with sexual matters, I've had two partners and they have both been rather vanilla. This new girl I'm with wants me to be dominant. I've never really considered myself into BDSM although, I often enjoy pornography having to do with female submission and slave training. I haven't really thought of pursuing it beyond that.

She wants me to make rules, dominate her and generally be a dom. I've never really done anything like this and would appreciate any assistance you could render.

I already have a safe word, but that's the extent of my knowledge. I know to keep safety first and what not but on the actually kink part I'm pretty clueless. I mean for fucks sake, I don't even feel anything during regular sex.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Short answer: TALK TO HER.

Long answer:

" I often enjoy pornography having to do with female submission and slave training"

What do you enjoy about it?? Do you think anything like "if I was there..." or "oooh, I would love to make someone do that, or ...."

The reason I am asking is because if you are actually going to try to be her Dom, then it has to be YOU being the Dom.

"I mean for fucks sake, I don't even feel anything during regular sex." Being a Dom isn't always about sex. In fact it is rarely just about sex. Do you "feel anything" while looking at those photos? Do you "feel anything" when she says she wants you to give her rules etc?

You may or may not be a dom. I am a switch. With some people I naturally dominate them, and with others I am naturally submissive. With my wife I actually do both, but in different ways. But you need to find out if you are Dominant with her or if you really want to be.

Up till now all my comments have been about you.
But what does she mean by you being dominant? Does she want this in all aspects of her life? or just the bedroom? Has she had experience with being a sub before?

You need to talk to her about where you and her are. The most important thing in bdsm is communication. Talk to her and see if the two of you can find ways that you are both satisfied.
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