Hi,
I’ve been repressing my kink for over a decade out of a mix of shame, guilt, and anxiety. I just recently felt comfortable enough to tell my partner of two years about it (this was the first time I had revealed this to anyone). They were supportive and willing to explore it with me.
However, once given the opportunity to express my kink openly with them, I found that it was more extreme than I had initially realized. I very quickly lost control of my impulses and crossed the boundary of what is acceptable, safe, and where my partner and I were comfortable going.
My instinct is to use my actions as a justification to repress my desires again, but bottling it up is possibly why my kink has gotten to where it has in the first place.
How do I incorporate this into my sex life in a way that is safe, responsible, and takes into account my partner’s kinks as well? How can I dial it back, having control over my impulses so I don’t go overboard or too extreme?
If anyone has any advice or could point me towards some resources, I would be grateful. I've found this link already helpful.
Thank you for your time.
I’ve been repressing my kink for over a decade out of a mix of shame, guilt, and anxiety. I just recently felt comfortable enough to tell my partner of two years about it (this was the first time I had revealed this to anyone). They were supportive and willing to explore it with me.
However, once given the opportunity to express my kink openly with them, I found that it was more extreme than I had initially realized. I very quickly lost control of my impulses and crossed the boundary of what is acceptable, safe, and where my partner and I were comfortable going.
My instinct is to use my actions as a justification to repress my desires again, but bottling it up is possibly why my kink has gotten to where it has in the first place.
How do I incorporate this into my sex life in a way that is safe, responsible, and takes into account my partner’s kinks as well? How can I dial it back, having control over my impulses so I don’t go overboard or too extreme?
If anyone has any advice or could point me towards some resources, I would be grateful. I've found this link already helpful.
Thank you for your time.