new in bdsm lifestyle [need help]

charmedmidnight

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Dominant
Jun 26, 2015
3
0
0
Hello to anyone who's willing to help me!

I need advice about collars. I have a girlfriend and she's a submissive. We haven't "properly" practiced our D/s relationship since we're on LDR. The thing is that she mentioned to me that she wants to be collared in the future and I'm scared of that.

This is my first time of having this kind of relationship and I'm willing to practice for her because I love her so much. She did say that she's going to teach me the ways of it but my concern is that I get carried away with things and I sometimes loss control. The level of trust she's giving to me in order to lay my hands on her is pressuring me.

I'm bit at loss on what I should say to without hurting her.
 

Mistress V

Kink Talk Member
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Dominant
Oct 30, 2014
43
0
0
In your closet
Don't worry, with good couples this is often the case with bdsm. Not wanting to hurt them is very often the case. If you are serious to start having a D/s relationship, talk. That is absolutely the most important thing in bdsm. talk to her, and you should do so after every session you play with her. set up limits, terms, verbal and non-verbal stop signs. Also, mistakes can and will happen, only you need to make sure to care for her during and especially after sessions. Subs have something that is called subspace, where they will follow almost all your commands, but on the flip side, they will be VERY emotional and they can have a giant backlash if you don't care for them after
 

Bad_lands man

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jun 1, 2015
13
0
0
task master

Interesting in deed. You are practical a submissive yourself. You need to be a little stronger in your approach, she's looking for a mistress.
 

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