This definitely sounds wrong
so ive been with my current partner for about 4 years now(on and off) these days things have been kinda tame, but last night was a total disaster. right from the get go i was emotional, i had really low self esteem, and his degradation wasnt helping. usually its just annoying but this time i started crying. at first he was super supportive but later that night i guess he had a change of heart. he tied me up legs bound and arms behind my back and he bent me over and started whipping me harder and harder until it was well past my limits. i couldnt stop myself from crying and screaming out. when it was all over with he would barely talk to me. no support, no comfort, no reassurance. he just left me in a corner of the bed crying holding my ass in pain. and that night when we were going to bed there was no cuddling and no talking he just pushed me to the edge of the bed and wouldnt acknowledge me at all. hes not just my dom hes my partner and thats what made it hurt that much worse. i feel so used. i walked home feeling lonely, and helpless, and dirty. this cant be okay right? im not the most experienced in bdsm but i feel like i know enough to know that this is wrong. can anyone help me, some support or guidance you could give me?
Sweetie there is so much wrong with this I don't even know where to begin. This does not sound like a scene, this sounds like abuse.
A Dom's and partner's job is to want what is best for you. If you were already low and degradation isn't a turn on, it's only tolerable, it shouldn't have happened last night.
If you're screaming out in pain well past your limits, you should have a safe word to immediately cease all activity. If you do not, do not play with anyone again without one. If you have one and used it and he ignored it, no more play. If he realized you were well past your limits and it was extreme yet continued, no more play. A Dom doesn't get to just keep pushing until you're broken. If he can't respect you enough to care for your well being, he doesn't deserve to play with you OR ANYONE.
Regardless of the level of play, it's not ok to not provide aftercare. He broke down the walls, it's his responsibility to help you put yourself back together. It's reckless to ignore you after that intense of a scene. It's dangerous for him to ignore you and provide no comfort or reassurance. You should never have to walk home feeling used or dirty in a bad way.
There is no excuse for his behavior. It's his responsibility as a Dom to remain in control of himself. It's his responsibility to push your limits safely and in a sane manner. It's his responsibility to protect you and consider your needs. It's his responsibility to provide you aftercare. The fact he's not only your Dom but your partner and he showed so little regard to your well being, especially mental well being, is especially reprehensible. Once the trust is shattered, it's so hard to ever regain it again. And I would seriously question if you even want to.