Hello,
Let me start by introducing myself. I'm Luke, an 18 year old guy from the Netherlands and I have been intrigued by BDSM for quite some time now (I enjoy watching it online and fantasizing about it).
I might be starting a BDSM relation soon and I would like some advice since I'm new to this. Below is the story of how the relationship came to be, and I hope some experienced members can give me advice based on the story. I apologize if the story is to long.
A few months back I met a girl and she started talking to me a lot. She was very insecure and indecisive but I liked her. She has got her fair share of trouble like parents wanting to get divorced and other sources of stress.
Before I knew it we were cycling to school together and texting quite a lot and I noticed that she would panic when she had to make a decision or if it was just unclear what was going to happen or what she needed to do.
To give you an idea, we had to meet up at school for a project but I hadn't told her exactly where and she really panicked out of fear of not finding me and me carrying on without her because I couldn't find her and would assume she wasn't going to show up. And when she saw me she felt a great sense of relief.
Nowadays I try to be extra clear to her about where and when and I make decisions for her (sometimes as simple as which route to take when going somewhere or what to order at McDonald's) and she finds that really comforting.
When I asked her how she felt about me taking control over a part of her life she told me it is not only comforting for her but she enjoys it and she would love to surrender as much of herself as she could to me.
At a time when we were talking about relationships in general we ended up exchanging sexual fantasies (just vanilla fantasies at the time). I told her how I would please a girl and she responded with describing how she would "reward" me if I were to do that to her. Afterwards I asked her why she gave me that vivid description because I didn't think of her as the type who would say such things and she responded that she tough I would enjoy it. I told her I did but she doesn't have to do that if she doesn't want to. That was when she told me that she wants to because she genuinely enjoys pleasing me.
After a few days of not speaking to her she came to school with quite a few bruises and I asked what had happened. She confessed that she did it herself. She has had the habit of biting and hitting herself when she can't handle the pressure she's under anymore. That habit has been there for years and it got so far out of hand that she would damage her body. She also told me that when she around me, whether it's trough texting or real world contact, she doesn't have to urge to hurt herself for some reason.
When I asked her why she did it she told me the pain helps her forget all the negativity and she just genuinely enjoys the sensation of the pain. When I'm around she still desires the sensation of pain at times but she doesn't have the uncontrollable urge to hurt herself.
That was when I told her to always text or even call me if she ever had the urge to hurt herself because I care deeply for this girl and want to protect her to the best of my ability.
Anyways, a few days later it came up in conversation that I find BDSM kinky and that was when the idea started. She told me she just likes to feel the pain and she would even prefer it if I gave it to her. At first I wasn't sure about this because I was afraid I would just feed her (now inactive) addiction, but now I like the idea because it would please both of us and more importantly I am in control of the pain so I can protect her from causing herself injuries, because she always takes it a step to far when doing it herself.
At the moment I'm controlling her trough text by telling her what to wear, if she can wear underwear, what she has to do when she wakes up, and we both enjoy it.
The tricky part is that her parents are really protective because they know about her bad habits so we can have very little time alone in real life. Body marks are also a real deal breaker.
We haven't had a real life "session" yet but she really wants to have one with me. She keeps anticipating about being blindfolded and teased with ice cubes, being spanked with hair brushes and discovering and pushing her limits, but never crossing.
To help you understand our relationship a little bit better. There is no romantic love between the two of us, just a lot of passion and caring love.
But here is were I would like some advice. I am not sure on how to continue this relationship. I would love to have some advice, also ideas for tasks and punishments I can give her trough texts are more than welcome. She is craving for more orders from me.
These are the tasks she already has:
When she wakes up the first thing she does is take a selfie, she isn't allowed to do her make-up or hair beforehand.
I have to approve her outfit for the day and often deny her wearing any underwear.
She has to text me whenever she is going out and when she comes back home.
She send me a selfie right before she goes to sleep.
I started these tasks yesterday so I hope there will be many more.
Thanks in advance,
Luke
Let me start by introducing myself. I'm Luke, an 18 year old guy from the Netherlands and I have been intrigued by BDSM for quite some time now (I enjoy watching it online and fantasizing about it).
I might be starting a BDSM relation soon and I would like some advice since I'm new to this. Below is the story of how the relationship came to be, and I hope some experienced members can give me advice based on the story. I apologize if the story is to long.
A few months back I met a girl and she started talking to me a lot. She was very insecure and indecisive but I liked her. She has got her fair share of trouble like parents wanting to get divorced and other sources of stress.
Before I knew it we were cycling to school together and texting quite a lot and I noticed that she would panic when she had to make a decision or if it was just unclear what was going to happen or what she needed to do.
To give you an idea, we had to meet up at school for a project but I hadn't told her exactly where and she really panicked out of fear of not finding me and me carrying on without her because I couldn't find her and would assume she wasn't going to show up. And when she saw me she felt a great sense of relief.
Nowadays I try to be extra clear to her about where and when and I make decisions for her (sometimes as simple as which route to take when going somewhere or what to order at McDonald's) and she finds that really comforting.
When I asked her how she felt about me taking control over a part of her life she told me it is not only comforting for her but she enjoys it and she would love to surrender as much of herself as she could to me.
At a time when we were talking about relationships in general we ended up exchanging sexual fantasies (just vanilla fantasies at the time). I told her how I would please a girl and she responded with describing how she would "reward" me if I were to do that to her. Afterwards I asked her why she gave me that vivid description because I didn't think of her as the type who would say such things and she responded that she tough I would enjoy it. I told her I did but she doesn't have to do that if she doesn't want to. That was when she told me that she wants to because she genuinely enjoys pleasing me.
After a few days of not speaking to her she came to school with quite a few bruises and I asked what had happened. She confessed that she did it herself. She has had the habit of biting and hitting herself when she can't handle the pressure she's under anymore. That habit has been there for years and it got so far out of hand that she would damage her body. She also told me that when she around me, whether it's trough texting or real world contact, she doesn't have to urge to hurt herself for some reason.
When I asked her why she did it she told me the pain helps her forget all the negativity and she just genuinely enjoys the sensation of the pain. When I'm around she still desires the sensation of pain at times but she doesn't have the uncontrollable urge to hurt herself.
That was when I told her to always text or even call me if she ever had the urge to hurt herself because I care deeply for this girl and want to protect her to the best of my ability.
Anyways, a few days later it came up in conversation that I find BDSM kinky and that was when the idea started. She told me she just likes to feel the pain and she would even prefer it if I gave it to her. At first I wasn't sure about this because I was afraid I would just feed her (now inactive) addiction, but now I like the idea because it would please both of us and more importantly I am in control of the pain so I can protect her from causing herself injuries, because she always takes it a step to far when doing it herself.
At the moment I'm controlling her trough text by telling her what to wear, if she can wear underwear, what she has to do when she wakes up, and we both enjoy it.
The tricky part is that her parents are really protective because they know about her bad habits so we can have very little time alone in real life. Body marks are also a real deal breaker.
We haven't had a real life "session" yet but she really wants to have one with me. She keeps anticipating about being blindfolded and teased with ice cubes, being spanked with hair brushes and discovering and pushing her limits, but never crossing.
To help you understand our relationship a little bit better. There is no romantic love between the two of us, just a lot of passion and caring love.
But here is were I would like some advice. I am not sure on how to continue this relationship. I would love to have some advice, also ideas for tasks and punishments I can give her trough texts are more than welcome. She is craving for more orders from me.
These are the tasks she already has:
When she wakes up the first thing she does is take a selfie, she isn't allowed to do her make-up or hair beforehand.
I have to approve her outfit for the day and often deny her wearing any underwear.
She has to text me whenever she is going out and when she comes back home.
She send me a selfie right before she goes to sleep.
I started these tasks yesterday so I hope there will be many more.
Thanks in advance,
Luke