New to being domme....

[Naivechick]

OK! I am new here. My name's Morgan, and I am new to the BDSM lifestyle. I am currently in a relationship with a woman, and she's away for 3 months on business.

She recently wanted me to domme her, but she wants to start through chatting on messenger. I have NO clue how to be a domme online. She wants to refer to me as her mistress. I have no objections, but I need some major help. I have no clue how to talk to someone over the internet, and be domme. What do I do?

She wants me to dominate her during cybersex. She wants me to do things to her. She wants me to totally control her. I do NOT want to be abusive, but I want to please her. What are some good ideas to do during cyber that would be dominating. How do I refer to her if she does something that I approve of. "Good girl"? lol....I mean I just need some help here. I am clueless. Do I set out scenarios, and control her? Tie her up, and tease? Just someone help me!! LOL!!

I need help with the kinky talk too. I can talk dirty in person, but when it comes to doing it over the internet I'm so not good. What are kinky things that I can say to turn her on. I want to do these things in a sexual setting, not all the time. I want to dominate her. I just need help with the lingo.

Thanks for listening to me rant, but any help you can offer would be so wonderful. Thanks all. It was nice meeting you. Have a wonderful day, and I look forward to a few replies.

Morgan

 

[deeperblue]

Hi Morgan,

since you are a beginner it should be much more easy for you to do all this per messenger and not in real life. You have time to think about what you write and you have full control about every signal you send to her. In real life it is much harder to not look like you have no clue what to do next

the best thing to start with is to set up some set of rules with/for her.
Basically they should cover the basic things. She has to address you as mistress always. breaking rules results in punishment. beeing a good girl deserves a reward. ok the last rule is often not declared a rule because it is up to you to decide, when she will get a reward. For the punishment: it should be always predictable. she should always now, which behaviour leads to punishment and to which kind of punishment. Also a punishment works best if executed instantly after the fault.
The most common rule for a sub is of course, that she is not allowed to touch herself in any sexual way or have an orgasm with out your permission. This gives you the control over her sexual needs.
I also suggest that you put some kind of rituals in place which remind her of what she is. A simple example would be that she has to write you every morning or evening. Or, that she has to put on a collar when she goes to bed.
Now after the inital setup you are free to let her do what ever you like, give her a task she has to do during the day and report in the evening about. In such a way she feels that you care about her and that you want her to follow you.
Now about the online sessions. Take the time and think something up in front of the session. Spontaneous ideas are great, but an overall idea what should happen in the session helps a lot. I would always start a session in a very polite language and later on, when she is dripping wet, naked on all fours in front of her keyboard you can start on and call her a dirty little slut. It always depends on the situation what is appropriate and has the desired effect. In this embarrassing situation it should turn her on even more. But in others it might not. So just use what you think would fit the situation and describes her best.

Some basic ideas for an interesting online session:
-teasing her, letting her masturbate in different positions an evening long, but deny her the orgasm
-let her train different slave positions that you expect from her to take when commanded
-don't forget the punishments for not obeying orders or breaking rules
-plan an interrogation, ask her embarrassing questions while she has to stay in also embarrassing positions

Just let your creativity run freely.
I recommend looking through the getDare forums. Read submission/slave stories to get some more ideas.

And the most important thing:
Have fun doing this. She will have it for sure.

Good luck and enjoy,
-deeperblue

(and feel free to ask me any questions)

 

[Naivechick]

Thank you...

Hey there...thank you so much for the input. It was so useful! I really appreciate you taking the time to answer my post. If I need some more help I may contact you.

In a way it is embarrassing for me to do this with her, but I guess I will get used to it. I'm going to check out the stories that you told me about. I'm sure they will give me some ideas.

Thank you again.

 

[Sorrow Becomes Her]

I'm sure she's been back home for a while now, but I just wondered how things went? By the end were you confident in your role? Did you have her dripping, sexy little self wrapped around your little pinky finger by the end? I had been a slave to an online girlfriend of mine.. that was one of the most erotic times in my life! Now that I just thought of her, I'm missing her again! lol