Sub F 18 New to BDSM

Keng

Kinky Newbie
  • Lesbian
  • Female
  • Submissive
Apr 13, 2024
3
3
3
18
Hi my name is kenedee I have a dom but I want to know what I am expected to do as her sub I'm very inexperienced and would like to talk to someone about it.
 

zmoody1

Kink Talk Member
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
Aug 28, 2011
34
6
8
If your new to this, id strongly recommend exploring first before signing yourself up to be a sub right away.
 

subzzzero

Kink Talk Guru
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Dec 6, 2015
1,721
1,213
143
Hi my name is kenedee I have a dom but I want to know what I am expected to do as her sub I'm very inexperienced and would like to talk to someone about it.
Your dominant should make those expectations clear during the discussions prior to you agreeing to a dynamic with them. Typically there are discussions about kinks, likes, dislikes, hard/soft limits, expectations on both sides, other limitations, needs for each side, aftercare needs for both sides, etc.
If you did not have a discussion about any of this before signing up to be this dominant’s sub you need to step back and reconsider your position. It sounds like you might be being taken advantage of. It’s unfortunately typical that a shitty dominant would seek to take advantage of a new inexperienced sub. You should already know what your dominant expects of you. But if you do not know then that fault lies with the dominant for not communicating it. I’d suggest you do some of your own research, learn some basics, learn about vetting, so you can be better prepared for what you’re getting into. Maybe even put the current dynamic on hold until you can be sure this person is legit and that you’re safe in their care.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Keng

subzzzero

Kink Talk Guru
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Dec 6, 2015
1,721
1,213
143
Ahhh ok just checking. His message kind of implied it was him. Im glad to hear that’s not the case. Good luck with your dynamic then. I hope it all comes clear. Just remember being a sub doesn’t mean being a doormat. You can say no. You can have needs and expectations just as well.
 

masterdragon

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Apr 4, 2011
24
11
3
Your dominant should make those expectations clear during the discussions prior to you agreeing to a dynamic with them. Typically there are discussions about kinks, likes, dislikes, hard/soft limits, expectations on both sides, other limitations, needs for each side, aftercare needs for both sides, etc.
If you did not have a discussion about any of this before signing up to be this dominant’s sub you need to step back and reconsider your position. It sounds like you might be being taken advantage of. It’s unfortunately typical that a shitty dominant would seek to take advantage of a new inexperienced sub. You should already know what your dominant expects of you. But if you do not know then that fault lies with the dominant for not communicating it. I’d suggest you do some of your own research, learn some basics, learn about vetting, so you can be better prepared for what you’re getting into. Maybe even put the current dynamic on hold until you can be sure this person is legit and that you’re safe in their care.
Maybe some of the more experienced doms, subs other roles, could create a check list on things to ask and discuss for the inexperienced ones when they find someone to play or have a relationship with, in an effort to limit bad experiences
 
  • Like
Reactions: Keng