Advice on Discretion and Distance

AbaaDDon

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
Jan 15, 2016
4
0
0
Virginia
Hi all, I'm a new poster here and I'm writing this post to look for advice on how you guys handle situations where you don't get much time where you're the only two people in the house and both of you have to be discreet. My girlfriend and I recently decided to try to introduce an aspect of BDSM to our lifestyle and it went very well during a week that we had all to ourselves. However, we both are college students and live with roommates so with school starting again soon we are not likely to find much time with a place to ourselves for a while (at most, a couple times a week). For others who are in a similar situation, how do you keep the lifestyle going when you are forced to be so vanilla for a lot of the time as a situation like this demands? Looking forward to any advice you guys have.

Thanks in advance.
 

CuriouslyInterested

Verified Dragon
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Staff member
Jan 12, 2015
464
46
28
Midwest
I'm not sure what your kinks are, but there are plenty of things that can be done discreetly.

Her roommates wouldn't realize a necklace, bracelet or anklet symbolized a collar or her submission to you.

She may not be able to walk around with no clothes but her roommates wouldn't know if you allowed her underwear or dictated which she was to wear that day. Maybe she is only allowed to wear skirts or dresses unless going out in cold weather?

Rope bondage can be worn underneath clothing.

Masturbation and/or orgasm control, she could be required to ask and receive permission to have an orgasm or go further, permission to even touch herself for pleasure. The opposite you could require her to edge either randomly or everyday. Or just assign an orgasm.

She could always be required to refer to you in a certain fashion if others were around, "my love" etc. You could also have a pet name for her "little one" or "doll" etc.

There are a million ways to incorporate D/s into your life and still be discreet. There is nothing required in the relationship other than one person giving up some control and the other person receiving it. If you get the house to yourself you can be in the open or make her scream in pain And pleasure, until then find the things that you both enjoy that others don't notice or can't see.
 

Doctor Pervert

Retired
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
4,731
483
All good advice there, I would also add you could consider outdoor locations. These don't have to be public, although they could be semi public places if that appeals to you but there are also many place you could probably find depending on your location and weather conditions.
As mentioned above, this is mostly about the mental aspects of control so even small things done discretely can be very exciting and interesting.
Crotch ropes and breast binding under clothes, remote control vibrators and even simple stuff like underwear control can be done totally discretely.
I have instructions for a really easy full body harness here: http://www.kinktalk.com/talk/showthread.php?p=72666#post72666
 
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