Coversaion/ online friendship wanted about BDSM, Also interested in disability and the BDSM scene.

[dosster]

My wife would like to have some online friends to discuss and chat about things BDSM-related. Doms of either sex are welcome and also subs but please don't ask her to be your dom or ask for her photos. This has been a long-standing problem for her online and why she has asked me to vet all replies before communicating with her.

We are also interested in chatting with people with disabilities in the BDSM scene.

Please note this is for chat and conversation, I'm here as initial contact and once contact is ongoing it will be between you and my wife only. However, if you wish to talk to me about the sub-side of things then please contact me.

Likewise, if you are a dom/sub couple and wish to chat with another couple this too is OK.

Feel free to pm me and ask anything.

 

[Destruction]

Hi, What kind of chats you are looking towards? General BDSM chit chat or like related to her sub?

 

[dosster]

Wants to talk about general BDSM related things to expand her knowledge this would I presume at times include things that does or can do with a sub also what others experience with subs. I think although I don't claim to be a phycological expert that she is maybe wrestling with her thoughts about BDSM versus vanilla. Basically I think she is looking for some kinky friends outside of our relationship, let's say she is a BDSM FLR virgin looking to join the fun and learn from others other than me.

 

[Destruction]

Understood, frankly speaking I am vanilla in real life too. But active in online more more than decade. If that's okay we may share our experience and thoughts.

 

[subzzzero]

Good on you for helping her out and being open to it all. That’s huge for her whether you know it or not. And vetting people is even better. Yes lots of “doms” online claim the mentor role so that they can play with someone and have them do tasks and pic under the guise of calling it mentoring. This needs to be like a teacher student thing. Not like a play partners thing. I’m glad you’ve realized that and started cutting through all the garbage fakes. If you’re considering anyone from here I recommend checking their profile and their prior posts here to get a fell for who they are. Lots you’ll see are very much a “hey Kik me” or using titles and pet names that are not earned. Half assed tasks assignment etc. clearly red flags for a good mentor.
Some of the discussion is going to need to be you and her involved with the mentor and other may be specific to just her and the mentor. Mainly due to her lack of Exp and since you’re part of it you’ll need to be included. Are you planning to sub to her or let her domme others? Also disability kink things just depends on what type disability and it can usually be healthy safe worked around.

 

[dosster]

M

Good on you for helping her out and being open to it all. That’s huge for her whether you know it or not. And vetting people is even better. Yes lots of “doms” online claim the mentor role so that they can play with someone and have them do tasks and pic under the guise of calling it mentoring. This needs to be like a teacher student thing. Not like a play partners thing. I’m glad you’ve realized that and started cutting through all the garbage fakes. If you’re considering anyone from here I recommend checking their profile and their prior posts here to get a fell for who they are. Lots you’ll see are very much a “hey Kik me” or using titles and pet names that are not earned. Half assed tasks assignment etc. clearly red flags for a good mentor.
Some of the discussion is going to need to be you and her involved with the mentor and other may be specific to just her and the mentor. Mainly due to her lack of Exp and since you’re part of it you’ll need to be included. Are you planning to sub to her or let her domme others? Also disability kink things just depends on what type disability and it can usually be healthy safe worked around.

Good on you for helping her out and being open to it all. That’s huge for her whether you know it or not. And vetting people is even better. Yes lots of “doms” online claim the mentor role so that they can play with someone and have them do tasks and pic under the guise of calling it mentoring. This needs to be like a teacher student thing. Not like a play partners thing. I’m glad you’ve realized that and started cutting through all the garbage fakes. If you’re considering anyone from here I recommend checking their profile and their prior posts here to get a fell for who they are. Lots you’ll see are very much a “hey Kik me” or using titles and pet names that are not earned. Half assed tasks assignment etc. clearly red flags for a good mentor.
Some of the discussion is going to need to be you and her involved with the mentor and other may be specific to just her and the mentor. Mainly due to her lack of Exp and since you’re part of it you’ll need to be included. Are you planning to sub to her or let her domme others? Also disability kink things just depends on what type disability and it can usually be healthy safe worked around.

Thanks for your remarks, you have just about summed it up to a point. We are not looking to involve others unless it turns out someone becomes a good friend and is localish to us, then who knows , one step at a time. But she is also looking for kinky friends just to be friends and swap ideas etc. she has got so much crap from people on line that is why I'm sort of vetting People and I do check them out on here and elsewhere if I can find them. the disability thing is not a link for or fetish for disability, it is because I am slightly disabled,not in a major way but it does effect my life so we was just looking to see how others handle things.

 

[justy2011]

My wife would like to have some online friends to discuss and chat about things BDSM-related. Doms of either sex are welcome and also subs but please don't ask her to be your dom or ask for her photos. This has been a long-standing problem for her online and why she has asked me to vet all replies before communicating with her.

We are also interested in chatting with people with disabilities in the BDSM scene.

Please note this is for chat and conversation, I'm here as initial contact and once contact is ongoing it will be between you and my wife only. However, if you wish to talk to me about the sub-side of things then please contact me.

Likewise, if you are a dom/sub couple and wish to chat with another couple this too is OK.

Feel free to pm me and ask anything.

feel free to chat me up mistressjusty

 

[subzzzero]

M

Oh yeah I knew what you meant. I was just asking specifically what was the disability. And suggesting there are probably ways to work around it. I have had prior subs with physical and mental disabilities. Most times with an altered approach kink is still possible.

 

[dosster]

Oh yeah I knew what you meant. I was just asking specifically what was the disability. And suggesting there are probably ways to work around it. I have had prior subs with physical and mental disabilities. Most times with an altered approach kink is still possible.

My main disability is the fibromyalgia, with the biggest problem being with walking, general fatiguend pain.

 

[dosster]

I don't mean this in a harsh way but it is funny how things always come to a halt once I lay the disability card on the table.

 

[dosster]

To all the above thank you for your input, my wife is thinking out her next course of action, I can't rush her but she is getting there.

 

[Destruction]

Just to know is she considering this chat to use you as her sub? Or it's just her discussion need?

 

[dosster]

At the moment she is wavering as to whether she will be to embarrassed to chat with a stranger about it. personally knowing her as I do I think it would be good for her to have contact with others but she seems to want to get to know people first before diving into the kinky stuff. I'm trying to straighten it out later.

 

[Destruction]

I got your point on that, but is she interested to explore BDSM more to be able to use on you or just for her internal enrichment?

 

[subzzzero]

I don't mean this in a harsh way but it is funny how things always come to a halt once I lay the disability card on the table.

I just got super busy with work, sorry. So with regards to the current issue you listed. There are still many ways you can work around it for the act of submission. I will relate the examples to you being submissive to her. First you need to find out what parts of it are appealing to her. There are plenty of non sexual non physical things to be done as a dynamic. For example just proper answering and addressing by title. Yes ma’m or yes mistesss etc. She can control your clothing choices daily to include underwear as well. She can restrict your access to places in the house or certain furniture. You can be made to serve her as a service sub. Bringing her drinks food items etc while she sits on the couch. You can brush her hair or clean her body for her. She can put all sorts of things into play like bedtimes, wake times, meals, bathroom use, water intake, alcohol limitations.
Sexually anything that doesn’t directly impact you negatively can be done. Plugs being worn, masturbation direction, Denied/forced/ controlled orgasms, servicing her sexually for her pleasure only. May need to avoid excessive bondage or impact due to the pain you get. However use of other sensory like blindfold ball gag or touch with feathers knives etc could work. There are lots of options just have to find out what you both are into.

as others have asked. Figuring out If she wants you to sub to her or if this is for her to use on other subs would be helpful. Also knowing if you even want to sub to her in the first place.
Hope this helps some.

 

[dosster]

I don't really know want you mean but here goes. I am her sub as far as it goes so any play will be between us. She was wanting to form a general online friendship with people from the scene. With the exchange of ideas and maybe a bit of mentoring. I think she is in need of knowing others are really doing these things, have these desires, and act on them without guilt or shame.

 

[dosster]

I got your point on that, but is she interested to explore BDSM more to be able to use on you or just for her internal enrichment?

We would both be keen for her to try out things on me. She needs the ideas and encouragement to do it. I tell her "yes, I'd enjoy you doing that" but she is still unsure. She has trouble forming the ideas into practice so Yes, would be for things for her to do on me. But any general chat that would encourage her the right way would be useful, I feel.

 

[dosster]

I just got super busy with work, sorry. So with regards to the current issue you listed. There are still many ways you can work around it for the act of submission. I will relate the examples to you being submissive to her. First you need to find out what parts of it are appealing to her. There are plenty of non sexual non physical things to be done as a dynamic. For example just proper answering and addressing by title. Yes ma’m or yes mistesss etc. She can control your clothing choices daily to include underwear as well. She can restrict your access to places in the house or certain furniture. You can be made to serve her as a service sub. Bringing her drinks food items etc while she sits on the couch. You can brush her hair or clean her body for her. She can put all sorts of things into play like bedtimes, wake times, meals, bathroom use, water intake, alcohol limitations.
Sexually anything that doesn’t directly impact you negatively can be done. Plugs being worn, masturbation direction, Denied/forced/ controlled orgasms, servicing her sexually for her pleasure only. May need to avoid excessive bondage or impact due to the pain you get. However use of other sensory like blindfold ball gag or touch with feathers knives etc could work. There are lots of options just have to find out what you both are into.

as others have asked. Figuring out If she wants you to sub to her or if this is for her to use on other subs would be helpful. Also knowing if you even want to sub to her in the first place.
Hope this helps some.

Sorry, subzzero this comment wasn't aimed at you or anyone above or really anyone on here. I was just letting my bitter side out . I really shouldn't and I'm sorry if anyone takes my comment as aimed at them.

Bondage should not be avoided, I love bondage play with partners and self-bondage. Yes, there are certain things to work around but there is usually some way for a creative mind to figure it out. My mind is pretty creative but I'm afraid my wife is not so creative.
Much the same for impact play, my wife has never really given me a sound thrash but she does like slapping my balls. The whole pain thing is strange because if I have pain inflicted on me in a sexual way it sort of blocks the everyday pain and that becomes forgotten for a while which can be a very uplifting thing.

 

[subzzzero]

Sounds like lots of good potential then. She def needs a dom side to talk to. With no expectations other than just general convo. Local munches are good too. Those can be a big help to a newcomer.

 

[dosster]

Sounds like lots of good potential then. She def needs a dom side to talk to. With no expectations other than just general convo. Local munches are good too. Those can be a big help to a newcomer.

Unfortunately, I'd never get her to a munch I did mention it once but she is only wanting play between us and online. frankly, I think she is embarrassed about being kinky.