Daddy won’t play with me anymore..

Misskittenmeoww

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Submissive
Aug 25, 2020
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I’ve been in a relationship with my daddy dom for nearly two years now. Up until 9 months ago we had a great dynamic between us and would play atleast Once a week while also being in a 24/7 dynamic. Now he has gone back to being vanilla and hasn’t responded to my bratty behaviour for the last 9 months, he doesn’t play with me either.
I have tried to talk to him about this issue bit he will either go into denial or straight out apologies and say we can play soon(he doesn’t follow through with this)

this is starting to hurt my self esteem and would like some advice pretty please :(
 

QwertyAsdfgh

Kink Talk Member
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jan 18, 2015
65
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8
It’s a difficult situation. There could be any of a number of reasons and the only advice I can give you is to tall to him.
mid you need someone to vent to I’d be happy to chat, I’m in Perth, so a reasonable match on time zones.
 

kaylessa

Distinguished Member
  • Bisexual
  • Genderqueer
  • Switch
Jan 7, 2019
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Id also be really happy if we would get to know each other so maybe i could be your new daddy ;P
She is looking for advice, not for a replacement.

this is starting to hurt my self esteem and would like some advice pretty please :(
What type of relationship do you have with him? Is it just playing? Or is it more? This distinction has a big impact on how you can advance further.

If you've got only a playing relationship with no feelings involved, I'd assume he's no longer interested. In that case, I'd suggest talking with him about the future and go separate ways if nothing changes.

If you've got more with feelings involved, I'd suggest giving him slack for a while. Certain sorrows might keep him from playing. Try to be there for him in case he needs you. Assure him that you can be his support. Try to help him sorting things. Once he frees his mind from sorrows, he will probably be ready to play again.
 

QwertyAsdfgh

Kink Talk Member
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Jan 18, 2015
65
13
8
Kaylessa, well said. 👍. It’s difficult to give advice on such an open ended situation. But the most important thing is communication and truthful and honest discussion.
 
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Master Vagrant

Kink Talk Member
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  • Male
  • Dominant
Feb 23, 2014
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In my sub's mind
He dont have guts to end it, keeping you as reserve, back up or whatever. Move along, get over it and try not to be emotionally attached to next one, that can be bad at the end, as you experience it now.
 

subzzzero

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Dec 6, 2015
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So I need some clearer details to really make a suggestion or give advice here.
You said you two have been in dynamic for nearly 2 years but its been lacking for 9 months does this mean its only been a good active dynamic a little over a year then?
Is this live in, local but living separate, or online? You mentioned 24/7 but also playing so I assume it is live in..
Is he keeping your 24/7 structure and rules in place? OR is this all full on vanilla only now?
If its only vanilla how is the vanilla part? Are you happy with that piece of it at all? Obv you want the kink but is the vanilla any good at all?
The clothes on sober talk sounds like its been had a few times now. Did you tell him how it makes you feel? Or did you just say you want play sessions and kink?
You mentioned 9 months... What changed around that time? work, school, other play partners for either of you, hours of availability, housing arrangements, added kids, loss of someone close, anything at all?
What are his reasons for not wanting to participate?
What are your reasons for wanting to participate?
Some of these question may help you out as they are just asking yourself and finding the answers.

You ultimately have a few choices:
Stay vanilla and stay together
stay vanilla with him and find a kink play partner with his approval after talking.
Talk with him find his reasons why and try to work it out
If you see hes not changing and you are not happy just vanilla with him then time to look elswhere.
IT is like any other relationship...people change and sometimes it just isnt the same and it needs to be let go.


Edit for side note. @kaylessa Good catch on calling out the selfish thirsty guy trying to fill his own needs here trying to be a replacement and not lend advice. even with the dirty delete he still shows on the reply.
 
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