Don't scare the straights

Doctor Pervert

Retired
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
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This was something I was told during my time in the San Francisco bdsm scene. The idea is simple, the "straights", the regular vanilla population are not to be involved in our games. This was mainly in regards to any kind of public play as well as just how far you could go with regard to fetish wear in public.

The reasons are twofold, firstly it's a breach of the Safe, Sane, Consensual doctrine in that these people have not consented to being part of our activities. Secondly any breaches of this tarnish the reputation of all bdsm practitioners bringing us all under tighter scrutiny and making us vulnerable to public pressure on limiting our activities.
Now San Francisco is a particularly tolerant place for bdsm in general with plenty of venues and even the popular, annual Folsom St Fair down in SOMA so there is little reason to take kink beyond those places.

That doesn't mean you can't enjoy some public fun, I myself enjoy using it as a part of good bdsm, you just have to think things through and plan your activities. You can use all kinds of strategies to make public play safe and keep it consensual at the same time, here's some tips I've put together over the years.
  • Stake out your planned public play zone in advance, look for what kind of people are present and where they are.
  • Ensure your venue isn't overlooked by residential or other high rise.
  • Look out for CCTV that may record what you're doing and get you in trouble from authorities
  • Always have a cover up strategy such as an overcoat, long dress, etc you can use quickly
  • Clean up any mess, masturbating, pissing and cumming can all leave a mess you are responsible for
  • As much as possible always work with at least one other person, having a spotter or just another body will help keep you out of trouble
  • Transparency is better than nudity for deniability but don't rely on it.
As covid restrictions get lifted in many places and us kinksters try to get back to outdoor fun just remember, don't scare the straights, ok?
 

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