Faking it

Doctor Pervert

Retired
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
4,753
483
It goes in cycles like pretty much everything but a number of recent events have caused me to have to look at and intervene in instances of fake profiles which yet again brings this up as a discussion topic that I think is worthy of some consideration.

The largest and most serious of these involves a number of automated accounts or "bots", yes these things are getting good but don't worry your kinky heads about it, I'm on top of them.
The second is the eternal (it seems) problem of catfish fakes, for the most part guys pretending to be girls. Why do they do it? I hear you all scream, well lots of reasons but lets make one thing quite clear here. Kink Talk does not require verification of being female (or male), it is totally voluntary and for good reasons. Many (most) are quite understandably reluctant to reveal too much about themselves in a forum such as this and so any requests or demands to change this will not get you anywhere.

This does however make the whole catfish thing a tricky problem to deal with. Our method over the past year or so has been to utilize the user title to call out suspected fakes and hence make it publicly known their activities are suspicious while at the same time allowing them the option, if they so desire, to prove their accusers wrong.
Why not just ban them? Well a couple of reasons, the main one is that almost always they will return with a new fake persona soon enough and so the whole shitshow starts again. Secondly it serves as a kind of warning to others that we know what's going on and will act if we get the evidence.

Of course this is getting away from the very real question of why some people do this in the first place, why indeed. Several of the cases I've looked at involved quite elaborate lengths to perpetuate their ruse, however most don't and are quite clumsy in their attempted deceptions. There are lots of cases, in fact probably the most, of guys posing as female lesbian Dommes. In this case the objective is pretty obvious, male to female ratio is badly skewed so desperate guys try this less than novel approach to try and get themselves a female sub. In the cases of guys pretending to be sub girls looking for Dom guys its a bit more complicated, I mean there are loads of guys as both Dom and sub so the chances of finding someone is good, it has to be something else. Perhaps the deception is part of the thrill, maybe its something else entirely but either way it is not appreciated, no one likes being fooled.

So come on Kink Talkers I know we've discussed this before but what's your take? Have your views changed, is there anything more you think we can do and why do you think it remains such a prolific problem?
 

Diff

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Submissive
Feb 19, 2020
26
14
3
27
At least for the catfishers, are IP bans not an option? I think the current system works pretty well but when time does finally come to ban them I don't think most of them are tech savvy enough to be able to easily dodge it if all IPs associated with them were banned.

As for why, not a clue. Attention I figure, in some form or another. What kind of attention, still no idea. Don't understand at all how they expect any of this to actually pan out.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Doctor Pervert

Doctor Pervert

Retired
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
4,753
483
At least for the catfishers, are IP bans not an option? I think the current system works pretty well but when time does finally come to ban them I don't think most of them are tech savvy enough to be able to easily dodge it if all IPs associated with them were banned.

As for why, not a clue. Attention I figure, in some form or another. What kind of attention, still no idea. Don't understand at all how they expect any of this to actually pan out.

IP bans are used and mostly automatic within the software, the main problem is most (many) people use their phones for access which have dynamic IP's so it often doesn't work as the new account has a new IP.

Perhaps make less stuff available for unverified persona's. Give people the possibility to choose for a good discussion. I know for a fact that verification is a tricky thing but you seem to do a good job on verifying people.

If there would be a location for verified users then we would easily get a better community. Big plus would be that eventually timewasters and fakes can be taken out of the equation.

Sadly this is something that is necessary since I do like some anonymity. However having a good community nowadays comes with a prize since there is a reason bigger fora do also use some sort of check.

This has been discussed many times and really the big question is why is it the legit user that have to bear the burden of proof? As you mention it's quite reasonable for most people to want to avoid identification of any kind and while we make the verification process as anonymous as possible its still an imposition you shouldn't have to have.

Really it is a pain in the ass spoiling the fun for a lot of people, girls being harassed to prove themselves, guys being fooled by assholes, but then that's symptomatic of so many things in the world today, the few ruining a good thing for everyone else.
 

kaylessa

Distinguished Member
  • Bisexual
  • Genderqueer
  • Switch
Jan 7, 2019
381
489
63
Well... I started my online life as a faker as well. I was unable to explain it back then and the only reason I could come up with was that I liked the rush.

Today I know more. Today I know that my gender and sex aren't that matching. Back then I was experimenting and dreaming of something I couldn't have. Something I didn't know that it's a thing I actually want for my real life.

Well... still a long way to got and I don't know if I can ever make it. But today I know that there's been a really good reason to "fake".
 
  • Like
Reactions: Doctor Pervert

subzzzero

Kink Talk Guru
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Dec 6, 2015
1,719
1,210
143
IP bans would hardly make a dent overall. With VPN and or TOR or any other number of easy ways to scramble your IP address to get a new one its just not going to fix it.
I usually search up the name or kik name or even first sentence of a post back into kinktalk search, that filters out the really bad fake repeat offenders really fast. I like the way admin uses the username area to warn on potential and verified fakes. However lets face it theres enough thirst at times we all see those guys who still respond to those fake accounts with "yes mistress use me" or "hey bb i can be your domly dom master of all just send me a message on kik saying master im yours."

the above convo about the why
as mentioned before the male playing lesbian domme is thirst for sure
but i think the reason the male sub to male dom issue still comes around is that even with level numbers the male subs are seldom desired by the male doms therefore the male sub makes a fem account and tries to ride it out as long as possible hoping proof isnt required in the hopes of gaining some easy play. Doms on the other hand fall for it and are willing to accept shady terms just in hopes they finally landed a sub girl. Eventually once outed both parties essentially lose.

The content restriction wall seems a good idea at first but the lack of access will eventually dwindle the numbers lower and the site will become less active. Many people are online cuz they either lack time irl, location irl has no decent local irl groups, or theyre trying to be anonymous online. Me personally im not here to hide anything but if someone wanted to see if im real or not then kik skype line telegram are all easy ways to verify if i feel that person necessary.
I come here looking for creative interaction and good discusssion convos. Im not trolling for subs so to me the fake or not thing isnt really going to affect me that heavily. If i decided to want to speak more intimately with a member then ill find ways to verify them that im comfortable with.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Doctor Pervert

marissa353

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Trans Woman
  • Submissive
Nov 6, 2016
8
6
3
Perhaps make less stuff available for unverified persona's. Give people the possibility to choose for a good discussion. I know for a fact that verification is a tricky thing but you seem to do a good job on verifying people.

While I am not the most active person here, I do regularly check in and would participate in a discussion if I saw one where I could contribute something. But I'm never going to verify. The first reason why is most relevant for this topic - I'm here for discussion, not for play so my identifiers shouldn't really matter. But also, I'm a trans woman. I don't think anyone who is looking for online play is trying to fake being a trans woman, so I don't see a need to prove that. It would also be a really difficult thing to prove. What do I do, show a full body pic so that both my tits and my genitals are identifiable? While I have no reason to distrust the mods here, I have other mediums where I can participate in kink discussions, so if I had to go through verification I would just stop coming here.
 

kaylessa

Distinguished Member
  • Bisexual
  • Genderqueer
  • Switch
Jan 7, 2019
381
489
63
What do I do, show a full body pic so that both my tits and my genitals are identifiable? While I have no reason to distrust the mods here, I have other mediums where I can participate in kink discussions, so if I had to go through verification I would just stop coming here.
Besides you're still a trans women if you got no boobs yet or when you got your... thing removed. While you can proof your physical appearance, trans is about something in your mind. So it's probably impossible to proof.

I guess I would stop coming here as well if verification would be obligatory.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Doctor Pervert

Doctor Pervert

Retired
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
4,753
483
While I am not the most active person here, I do regularly check in and would participate in a discussion if I saw one where I could contribute something. But I'm never going to verify. The first reason why is most relevant for this topic - I'm here for discussion, not for play so my identifiers shouldn't really matter.
And there in a nutshell is why verifying will never be a requirement here.
We are indeed first and foremost a discussion forum, we want to hear your views and opinions and have good, honest debates about anything and everything kink related.
The media gallery is here as an adjunct, not the main focus and the personals are just a starting point. As my good friend @subzzzero pointed out if something starts looking more serious then time to do your own verifying if you think it's warranted.

Every time this topic comes up the loudest cries are always "make everyone verify" which of course, as already stated isn't going happen. The reason I keep bring it up is two fold, first to see if anyone has a genuinely new idea that might help but mostly to call out those that think they are getting away with it. You're not. Just because you don't yet have a "fake" tag next to your name doesn't mean we aren't aware of you.

I have even toyed with the idea of adding a new forum "Fakers Den" where fakes can openly play their games with anyone who finds that appealing. Problem is most fakes enjoy the deception as much as anything, its all part of their game so I doubt there would actually be anyone using it.

We have 14 gender selection here, you can also pick nothing if you like. If you're here just to discuss it doesn't matter at all what you pick.
If you're here to pick up then be skeptical, if someone sounds too good to be true they almost certainly are.
 
  • Like
Reactions: kaylessa

Featured Threads