Frustrated with exploration

glebo

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Hey All

I'm 29 years old, and havent really had much of a chance to explore human sexuality due to serious sexual anxiety. A direct result of childhood abuse, as a result i've spent the better part of the past 10 years in long term commited... very vanilla relationships. None of my ex's were really willing to explore anything beyond the traditional vanilla lifestyle. As a result i havent really been satisified, combine that with a VERY HIGH sex drive and its a recpipe for disaster. Fortunately, i am unable to cheat so that has never been an option for me.

After my last LTR, I promised myself I would just grant myself permission to explore/experience/see whats out there. I met someone who introduced me to the community, and it was an absolutely freeing/liberating experience. It took me a while but I finally found a way I can explore my sexuality and put my anxieties aside, there is more things I can do than just straight sex this way. To top matters even further her sex drive is equal to mine so we are a match in that regard. With her I found this to be the perfect opportunity as the best way to explore is with someone you are comfortable with and can experience/learn together.

With that being said, she told me shes new to the scene as well and is open to explore every aspect of the community. We also established the dom/sub dynamic. When we talked about the wants that she wants to explore she got an absolutely ok by me. I'm a try everything once kind of guy, i still need to learn my limits and what i like/dont like. no better way to gain that experience than to explore it.

Now heres the first catch:

When it came to my wants/list. I noticed she started taking options off the table almost right away with no discussion as to why. the more i pressed the matter, the more I found out that she had already done these things. Still we never really talked about our sexual history as its in the past and none of our concern. Things moved along and i was checking things off her list, still nothing off mine but the relationship progressed to the point that I presented her with a collar.

Than we talked about our sexual history.

It turns out that she had lied to me and mislead me completely. She has a very, very, very, very promiscuous past. I found out that she is bisexual, she has been collared once before, she has pretty well experienced everything the community has to offer, with both men and woman. I asked how many threesomes she's had and she said 3 or 4 that were ffm, and about a dozen that were fff. I asked her if she's willing to explore the option with me and before the sentance even left my mouth she flatout told me no. Shes also visited several local swingers clubs, and has a history of meeting men online for one night stands, as well as one nighters with friends/randoms at the bar, im sure youre getting the idea.

Ive tried several times to have an open discussion with her about this, and shes just not open to discuss anything. She is very protective and defensive about her sexual history. I know its none of my business and doesnt concern me because its in the past and doesnt apply to me. I get that completely.

What upsets me is the fact that she lied to me/mislead me about her experiences, and 75% of my wants for exploration are just off the table without even so much as a discussion. It absolutely bothers me that she goes and has threesomes with random men without even so much as a discussion (she mentioned to me that they just happened. to many drinks and oops) but with the man that collared her, that she says she loves its a flatout no, no discussion.

She doesnt realize my serious need/want to explore/experience. I even tried to bring up the idea of an open/poly relationship and again, before the sentance left my mouth she shot it down.

So i'm sitting here very frustrated.

Heres the second catch.

She is pregnant with my child. So i have very little options now for what i can do. Leaving her isnt an option, I will never leave the mother of my child stranded and the child fatherless. And abortion isnt an option, im pro life. The relationship is great, perfect. Its just the sexual aspect that im not satisifed with and is frustrating.

My questions are:

Am i being selfish?

and

What can I do?
 

Domineer

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I think you have a great approach to the problem, many live in a throw-away-society where problems are met with replacements. With the right spirit I'm sure you can find ways.

First of all, I think the fact that she is pregnant may have affected her response to some of the things you mentioned. As you said she had a very experimental past so it doesn't sound like it's against her nature to "try things at least once" - maybe it's a result of her stage in life? I (obviously) don't know her well enough to conclude on that but it could be a factor.

Second, it is generally a good idea to start out from a base that you both share, and let the journey, along with time, tell where it takes you. It's all about the process - the destination may be something none of you even consider at this point.

I'd suggest that you focus on the things you both agree on at this point. Start from there and gradually tweak it to other areas, small steps in the directions you'd like to explore more.

One extremely important aspect of a good BDSM-relationship is that the dominant can be relaxed about being dominant. What I mean by that is that it will never work if he/she is scared to cross mild or unknown borders - failure will happen eventually if you experiment and move borders - it should be expected and you can talk about that up front. (I'm not talking about huge mistakes or life-treatening issues here - it's minor things, like trying out a kink and realizing it really wasn't for you, or realizing it triggered some unexpected and unintended emotions). From your description of your past and current relationship it sounds like you might be afraid to disappoint her or try taking steps into directions that weren't already negotiated in detail. If I am right, it will lead to a boring adventure that both of you will get tired off before it really starts.

If it's a personality thing, you can't just decide to be relaxed about it - it doesn't work that way. In that case, you could try to switch roles once in a while, so you're not always on the dominant side. That way, you both get to see things from the other side, and she might move a few borders that you were afraid to touch. If none of you are into switching, it can be done in a way where you, as her dominant, orders her to take the dominant role for an hour or something like that.

Finally there are some general tricks that can help you keep the fire burning.

Every relationship has its ups and downs - but when that happens in a BDSM-relationship it is a threat to the center of the relationship - the dominant can't dominate or the submissive can't be submissive. It really takes two to tango in a relationship like that - so a great advice is to take time off once in a while. Make it official. Set a date maybe. From this day and three weeks ahead you're vanilla. Then when the date arrives, make sure to give it a kick-start so you get back on track with the BDSM fast. This is much better than a half-hearted attempt at BDSM during the time where one or both of you just didn't have what it took.

Also, every relationship has it's obstackles. Things that get in the way of what you'd really like to do. This will certainly be the case after she gives birth. A good approach to these are: "If you can't beat them - join them". For example, if you're in the middle of a hot scene and she gets an emergency call from work - turn it to your own advantage. If she is into orgasm denial, tell her that you had planned to let her climax today and then wait 2 weeks until next time. But since she missed the opportunity today she will just have to jump straight to the next phase and wait two weeks ;-) Just a silly example - but you get the idea - sometimes things that work against you can be incorporated to work with you.

I read your description as if you might have problems with initiating "scenes" - you wouldn't say just take her from behind in the middle of the dishes unless she had expressed a desire for that up front. If that is the case, you can make use of symbolism. Make her wear a ring that looks slightly different depending on which side of the ring she points towards the base of the hand. If it's turned one way, it's her discrete way of saying "anything goes, I'm wild today" - and if it is turned the other way it means the opposite. That way, you can get your "clear to launch" without "calling Houston" and spoiling the fun of surprise :)

Good luck
 

glebo

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Thank you so much for your well written, well thought out, we'll articulated reply. I've tried discussing this in several other community forums and the responses were "just abort and dump her". I have a new found respect for this online community so thank you!!!

I wasn't very clear about a few things.

We obviously had our talks pre-pregancy. And it's the fact that she just lied to/mislead me about her experience. She told me she's new to the community when that's in fact not true. She's very well versed and has experienced 95% of what the community/lifestyle has to offer. She told me she lied to protect herself she didn't want me to run due to her promiscuous past. And she repeatedly tells me that she says no to my requests and ideas for exploration for my own good. She repeatedly tells me that it's my fault that I didn't get a chance to explore/experience and asks me if I blame her for experimenting with her own sexuality. I don't blame her, I just find all of that unfair.

So like you said start out with things that talk about our wants/needs and that's where I feel like I was mislead.

Our dynamic is myself being the dom and her the sub. She's a good sub, and I'm not afraid or hesitant to start scenes. We use names for each other or signals to bleat each other know that a scene or "funisment" is coming. It's just the fact that I am limited to what I can explore with her as she has no interested in a lot of things as she's so experienced.

The pregnancy makes it so much harder, as there are limits to what we can do. Even rough sex can cause her some pain so we've reverted to a more vanilla lifestyle. Bit we still play/scene when we can. The problem is spontaneity. Just the other day I tried to surprise her (gently no dom stuff) and was shot down as she'd rather sleep. I just don't know when I can anymore so the ring signal idea is an absolute fantastic idea!!! It's brilliant I will definitely bring it up to her.
 

glebo

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Well I can add another point to this converastion, as we had a talk about it last night.

One of the reasons we got together is she told me at the very start, she was open, ready, and willing to help me, and guide me, to experience everything the community has to offer. I knew she had some exprience and knew she as comfortable with her own sexuality, and in her own skin. She told me to take things one day at a time, and when i'm ready to talk to her and we'll do these things together.

Well i'm ready...

She admitted that she was able to give these things up for everybody else because she had no attachements, no strings attached. For her, they were simply an experience. With me, she told me that she offered me all the same things as she had little feelings for me (our relationship was in the starting phase than) and now, she simply fell in love with me.

She said she cant imagine herself allowing me to do half of what I want to explore because of her feelings for me.
 

conviction

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my thought is this, you are her dom, if she gives herself to you and loves you as a submissive the way you say she does, she will allow you to train her and change her behaviors, she has been shutting down things you want to try for a long time, you need to train her to be ok with you trying things, or at least to allow you to experiment.

also be forthright with her, show her this forum, it expresses your situation perfectly, it is calm and collected writing that will not be taken as overly emotional. also, with all the 3some talk, tell her this "I need to experiment, I want to try a 3some, I want one of the women to be you but it doesn't have to be" that gives her an ultimatum, she can decide if she hates the idea so much that she will not want to be a part of your growing process, or if she loves you enough to let you do what you need to do. it also tells her that you are not ok with the way things are going, and tells her that you are honest, because you dont want to lie to her, you could just go and do it on your own but you arent.
 

glebo

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That's a valid point, however it won't work. Nothing will work, nothing has worked, nothing will work.

The pregnancy seems to have shifted everything including our sexuality. She has basically reverted to becoming as vanilla as a person can be. With most if not all kink options just being off the table completely.

I mean as far as our sex life goes now, there isn't one. She's afraid to hurt the baby.

She's withdrawn her sexuality completely, she's withdrawn herself, she's become a completely different person.

She is still not open to having an open relationship and as far as sexual satisfaction goes I'm basically on my own. I don't think she remembers she's in a relationship, her priority is the pregnancy and that's it. It's like I don't exist anymore
 

Skex

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Well the pregnancy puts a kink and a hold on to everything at this point. Her hormones are all whacked out and will remain so for some time after as well. Also I am convinced that men are also affected by their hormones as well. I went a little crazy during my wife's last pregnancy as well so while I would normally advise you to push her to communicate honestly and openly with you, I would actually recommend that you put all the bdsm stuff away until after your child is born and you get settled into your new routines.

Now simply isn't the time for you to be emphasizing your needs / wants. You are a parent now so that new life forming in her womb should be your focus.

Bear in mind that a sub puts themselves into a very vulnerable position and to do that they really need to know that they can trust you. She needs to know that you are there for her and your baby, once she knows that in her heart and head it will be easier for her to open up with you.

As far as your vanilla sex life goes, go with her to her next checkup and bring up the question of sex with her Dr, unless there is some sort of complication they should be able to alleviate her concerns about sex harming the baby which will hopefully eliminate one cause of friction in your relationship.

As to her "dishonesty" regarding her sexual history, I really wouldn't hold that against her too much. Society feeds so many contradictory messages to women about sexuality that it is very difficult for a woman with an active sexual history to be honest about it at least during the early phases of a relationship. It's obvious that she really likes you (she's carrying your child after all) but she is likely afraid as well.

So for now be patient and understanding, once the baby is born and you are back on normal sleep schedules will be the time to revisit this issue, ideally with the help of a relationship counselor. At which time you will both be in a better mental state to address the matter.

Talk to her about that, explain that you have concerns that you will want to address eventually but that you are committed to making it through this stage of your life together first.
 

glebo

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well skex, you're absolutely correct in the sense that the pregnancy puts alot of things on hold. Im no asshole or sex crazed psycho, i get that completely and i understand 100%.

since some time has gone by, and we're well into our second trimester. I can tell you that the frustration is still there. Her sex drive has returned as the nauseating effects of the first trimester is gone completely, and we've returned *some* kink like scene play and very minor bondage (when i say minor, i mean just arms and legs, and not constricting as shes able to wiggle out of them).

The frustration is still there though.

As far as exploring goes, she is absolutely, 150% not going to try 75% of what she initially promised me and all things shes done in the past. I'd be as patient as a man can be if she just told me that she is willing to help me when she is ready and when we can find a sitter for the baby. But unfortunately thats just not the case.

Now dont get me wrong, its not like i'm pressuring for gang bangs and threesomes, no far from it. I'd like to participate in workshops, attend events, visit the swingers clubs to scene in the rooms they have available, meet as many new people as we can, find a mentor etc...

But she's already done ALL these things, and just doesnt have a desire to anymore. Her own exploration has been completed, and whats left of her own exploration is her own priority. It seems like im not a priority at all.

I dont think she just realizes how serious this is for me. As i stated in my initial post, i have severe sexual anxiety due to a childhood trauma. It took me this long to finally grant myself permission to explore, to show myself that human sexuality is in fact not a bad thing at all but a very enjoyable exprience. All i needed was someone im comfortable with to help me with the experiences as thats the healthiest, safest option as opposed to random encounters.

What infuriates me, is men in her past were granted the greatest sexual gifts a woman can offer a man from her, without even asking. for me its been 2 months of constant bickering, arguing, and fighting. So far this has been my experience with exploration, and counter productive to what my goal is in the first place.

fuck my life right?
 

reluctant8

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You keep reverting to the line of :"she's done it! What about me??".
And you talk about priorities.

Two things here:
It's not a goddamn contest. Nobody's keeping score but you. She probably should have been more honest...But, you can't do anything about that now.

The priority is the baby, her health and well-being, THEN you. You're last in line. Deal with it.

In all likelihood, you have many years ahead of you, whining and complaining about you not getting to play like others. If she doesn't want to & she's over it,...that's the end of the road.
 

glebo

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Than I guess it's the end of the road.

I won't stay in a relationship with a woman that flat out lied to me, repeatedly tells me she's done it before and will do it all again just never in a relationship.

Her dynamic is:

"Single = time to have fun, anything goes"

"Relationship = get serious. Not as much fun"

She was hesitant to tell me of her past because she has left relationships that were to "vanilla" for her. But it's a self fulfilling prophesy as she doesn't allow much kink in the relationships.

I view her dynamic as saving the better parts of her sexuality for when she's single.

I wish I could understand why this side of her, the kink side is such a deep dark secret. Even from her relationship partners.
 

ithersam

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II do not know the education system of your country but, you have to acquire graduate and post graduate degree in Geology from a good college/university and have to be good particularly in Economic Geology, Structural Geology and Geochemistry. thanks
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