Got a new sub

Thertoplese

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Dominant
Sep 18, 2018
3
0
1
#1
So I recently was able to get a male friend to give me their chastity key after I found out that they had one, and it's been a bit of a mixed experience so far. On the one hand I enjoy having access to dat ass whenever I want, but he has been reluctant to give up his independent will. He resists what I tell him to do and when he does do it he doesn't get into it, acting resentful or annoyed. While I enjoy this on occasion, my goal for him is to be completely obedient and submissive to my will, not to believe that he has a vote. He has spent about 3 weeks locked up for this first period and I'm pretty sure that as he stays in for longer and longer it'll improve, but is there anything that I should do to speed the process along? My current strategy to break him has been to have rough sex whenever he gives me attitude, but tnat only seems to work for a few hours and then he goes back to being stubborn. Any suggestions on how to train him?:confused:
 

CuriouslyIntereste

Verified Dragon
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Staff member
Jan 12, 2015
468
3
18
Midwest
#2
There's a lot of missing information before anyone can give you any advice.

The terms of your agreement in regards to key holding?
His likes, dislikes, and limits?
Then there is submissives aren't necessarily ever going to completely bend to your will and some always retain their vote. Not everyone submits at this level and if he's unwilling, and you want nothing less, it's never going to work out. Just because he enjoys some level of chastity play doesn't mean he's fully submissive.
Does he consider himself a brat, as in a submissive who acts out in order to receive attention and/or punishments?

Without any more information, the only sound advice that can be given is to talk with and communicate with him to find out his reluctance to submit.
 

Thertoplese

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Dominant
Sep 18, 2018
3
0
1
#3
Apologies, the terms of our agreement are that I will have full control over when he is released, meaning that I can increase or decrease the time depending on his behavior, within a reasonable limit. He retains his right to consent in any activity, although he can be punished for refusal at my discretion. He is entitled to a break of up to a week after he is released, depending on his performance when he was locked. I can approach him for sex whenever I want except 2-8am, and he agreed to recognize my general authority over him.

He enjoys anal, which is convenient, although he isn't a huge fan of blowjobs or swallowing his or my cum. He doesn't like a lot of pain or being tied up for longer periods of time. I'm pretty sure that his interest in chastity up until I found out was casual, but I'm hoping that I can introduce him to more and maybe get him to enjoy it. If he decides he doesn't after a while I will tone it down of course. I think he just isnt used to the level of kinkiness and is getting cold feet.
 

Legendary

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Sep 4, 2018
16
0
0
#4
Try to start setting rules for him. Like that he no longer owns underwear and that he must drink your cum for breakfast. Then punish him with exposure dares like blindfolding him naked and taking him to like a park
 

CuriouslyIntereste

Verified Dragon
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Staff member
Jan 12, 2015
468
3
18
Midwest
#5
He enjoys anal, which is convenient, although he isn't a huge fan of blowjobs or swallowing his or my cum. He doesn't like a lot of pain or being tied up for longer periods of time. I'm pretty sure that his interest in chastity up until I found out was casual, but I'm hoping that I can introduce him to more and maybe get him to enjoy it. If he decides he doesn't after a while I will tone it down of course. I think he just isnt used to the level of kinkiness and is getting cold feet.
If his interest has been casual and you're trying to build interest, have you considered slowing down a bit of the introduction? Stop introducing and expecting things he doesn't enjoy so fast, it's experimenting with a casual interest. Until he has a real desire to submit, it's not really hard to understand why he is reluctant and isn't getting into things you want but he doesn't. His interest has been in chastity, not in giving up his will to please someone else. There's a LARGE difference between orgasm and touch denial and submitting to things you don't enjoy, especially when you are remaining in chastity and not getting an immediate reward. If he's continually confronted with things he doesn't enjoy without that desire to please you, he's likely not to develop any further interest, let alone enjoyment.

Reward him when he does things he doesn't enjoy but you want him to. What would he enjoy other than being allowed to cum? Maybe allowed to edge? Maybe an hour outside of his cage? Maybe a ruined orgasm? Maybe a day off his chastity? Maybe anal sex?

Stop rewarding his reluctance and bad behavior with something he enjoys. Rough sex isn't necessarily much of a punishment if you like anal sex and be careful not to cross the lines of something you want to do NOT as a punishment when you are punishing him. Negative associations might ruin his enjoyment of any further rough sex because he'll think of it as punishment.

Introduce and build compliance slowly. He's not going to turn into a full sub overnight. Build tolerance and acceptance over time. Build time up in bondage, with rewards afterwards. Maybe start with building acceptance to a facial, then to holding cum in his mouth, then swallowing. Verbally praise him for his growth.

You mentioned he's not getting into it, if you want him to you can't keep just throwing things at him he doesn't like and expecting him to be excited about it, especially when they are coming with negative consequences for not being fully compliant. He's learning how to submit, if you want him to keep doing it, you have to teach him how it can be rewarding and how to enjoy it.
 

CuriouslyIntereste

Verified Dragon
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Staff member
Jan 12, 2015
468
3
18
Midwest
#6
Try to start setting rules for him. Like that he no longer owns underwear and that he must drink your cum for breakfast. Then punish him with exposure dares like blindfolding him naked and taking him to like a park
Sure, because forcing several extreme things and things he doesn't enjoy when he only has a casual interest before is likely to build an interest in submission, not make him run for the hills. Someone who had to be convinced to give their key instead of seeking out a dom is going to react great to that.
 
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Thertoplese

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Dominant
Sep 18, 2018
3
0
1
#7
What an extremely coherent and thorough response, thanks a bunch! I see what you mean about going too fast, I'll try to ease up on him for a while