Help a newbie out.

ChonkyKitten420

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Switch
Jan 12, 2021
6
3
3
I'm 100% new to kink. I haven't even mentioned it to my partner because I'd like to educate myself as much as possible before I test the water. Anyone out there want to take on mentoring me? I have kik, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram (barely used).
 

Doctor Pervert

Retired
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  • Male
  • Private
May 19, 2013
3,508
4,731
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Hi there and welcome to Kink Talk.

I'd recommend you spend some time reading through our forums to get a feel for things, there are many good primers here (often stickies) that will lead you through much of the basics.
Be cautious about who you listen to with regards to mentoring as there are plenty of self proclaimed experts who will lead you astray. I'd suggest doing some research on anyone who approaches you by reading their profile info and posts. This will give you an idea of their experience level as well as interests to gauge compatibility.

It can also be very helpful to post specific questions here as you will then get a much wider range of views rather than a single perspective.
 

poetrylover828

<<::: Verified :::>> Panda ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Submissive
Aug 19, 2017
50
109
33
One thing to be mindful of is a mentor is not someone who trains you or does any play with you. They are there to ask questions and share past experiences. If someone says “let me mentor you send nudes” they just assume they can get things from you because you are new.

Personally I would do my own research here and other kink sites. Googling as needed. And then take what others say with a grain of salt. As everyone is different.
 

subtlizer

Distinguished Member
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Aug 23, 2020
258
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the best i suggest is to read the posts of people before asking any perticular one to train you.
read the tasks and try to do the once you can easily do. see if you like the feelings towards the tasks.
for ex. see if you like tasks including pain or humiliation or degredation,
you can also ask someone to keep you doing that task if you feel like you would cheat out before the task is done.
like being a human furniture or corner time, or being a hucow. or having to clamp nipples etc.
 
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Miss Purrfect

Banned
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Dominant
Mar 4, 2020
46
73
18
London
Hi,

I would also say do not give your personal info out on here. Dont engage with anyone over Facebook or Instagram. If you want to chat do it on here or at a push kik. If you're going to also share pics also be careful. Unfortunately many newbies trust the first people to message, share something they think is safe only to find that the person posts it online or try some blackmail stuff with your pics / info when you want to stop talking or playing with them.

Feel free to message me if you have any questions or if I can help you with anything.
 

qazm

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Trans
  • Private
Dec 25, 2016
25
1
3
I'm 100% new to kink. I haven't even mentioned it to my partner because I'd like to educate myself as much as possible before I test the water. Anyone out there want to take on mentoring me? I have kik, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram (barely used).
Hi there
 

ChonkyKitten420

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Switch
Jan 12, 2021
6
3
3
One thing to be mindful of is a mentor is not someone who trains you or does any play with you. They are there to ask questions and share past experiences. If someone says “let me mentor you send nudes” they just assume they can get things from you because you are new.

Personally I would do my own research here and other kink sites. Googling as needed. And then take what others say with a grain of salt. As everyone is different.
Thats exactly what im looking for. Someone who i can talk to and ask questions and not someone to engage in play.
 
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poetrylover828

<<::: Verified :::>> Panda ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Submissive
Aug 19, 2017
50
109
33
Thats exactly what im looking for. Someone who i can talk to and ask questions and not someone to engage in play.
Since you seem to want a mentor I would suggest finding someone who has a similar role and possibly gender as you. If I were to look I would want a woman who was submissive as my mentor.

It says you are a switch so you might benefit from having two mentors as well. One sub and one dom. But definitely keep reading while you look for a mentor. It might take a bit to find a mentor.
 
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Miss Purrfect

Banned
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Dominant
Mar 4, 2020
46
73
18
London
If you wanted to test the water with your partner hopefully this may help.

When I first started to get into kink with my boyfriend at the time. We were both 17 and didn't really know where to start. We didn't even really know we were into Kink tbh just wanted to try out a few different things in the bedroom.

The easiest way we found to start was to play a game where the loser had to do a forfeit. The game could have been cards or board game it didn't really matter, but it was a simple way where the winner could get an idea out of our heads and into the bedroom to explore. Doing this also avoided it feeling weird to discuss what we were into. As back then I couldn't imagine coming home with rope, ballgag and paddle like "Can we try this tonight ?!" Haha.

The forfeits started off pretty Vanilla at first such as the loser was blindfolded or tied up, over time we both found what worked for us and we then didn't need a game or forfeit to have the kinky sex it just naturally became part of Sex.

Hope that helps somewhat 😊
 

ChonkyKitten420

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Switch
Jan 12, 2021
6
3
3
I appreciate everyone helping. I may just not be in the right place on here but I mostly see personals for hire and whatnot.
 

SweetCuriosity

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Submissive
Feb 6, 2021
15
9
3
Hi there,

Be careful what you ask for. I had a mentor in my early stages years ago and I was lucky enough to have somebody who genuinely wanted to help and educate me with no pressure and no ulterior motives. As much as having a mentor could potentially help, I really encourage you to go knowledge-seeking yourself. Yes, there's a lot of misinformation out there so be careful, but I'm sure with some of the resources here and any other secure sites that using your common sense, aren't fake, you should find success in doing some research on your own.

I hate to mention fifty shades of grey, but one of the things that really bothered me in that movie (haven't actually read the book) is that when Ana is considering the contract, Christian asks her has she come to a decision or done any research. and Ana asks what she should search and he simply replies "try submissive." She ended up coming across some shibari photos and got scared closing her laptop at the thought. Such a silly thing to do and such a broad search as that can have you looking at or finding anything that could be either too much too soon or again, very misleading. So..

It's best I feel to ask yourself some questions first before looking too deeply into the lifestyle for information. Questions such as why does this lifestyle interest you? What do you hope to gain from it? By answering these, you are giving yourself a starting point as to what you want to research and in what area. It's important to note that whilst BDSM of course generally speaking pertains to that of sexual intimacy and kink, D/s to me doesn't have to be sexual at all. It can be misleading for a newbie to be under the impression that all BDSM relationships involve D/s and that all D/s relationships involve BDSM. So again, figure out what you want in terms of being a part of this lifestyle and then that should give you a basis for some research.

Good luck!

Sweet.
 
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PunisherH

Distinguished Member
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Aug 29, 2020
228
79
28
25
I'm 100% new to kink. I haven't even mentioned it to my partner because I'd like to educate myself as much as possible before I test the water. Anyone out there want to take on mentoring me? I have kik, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram (barely used).
I would be intrested if u are.
First we should figure things out about u, get back to if u are intrested
 

NaturallyCurious

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Female
  • Dominant
Nov 3, 2017
27
23
3
Lafayette, LA
One thing to be mindful of is a mentor is not someone who trains you or does any play with you. They are there to ask questions and share past experiences. If someone says “let me mentor you send nudes” they just assume they can get things from you because you are new.

Personally I would do my own research here and other kink sites. Googling as needed. And then take what others say with a grain of salt. As everyone is different.
Too many predators hide under the guise of being a "mentor".

A mentor is actually a valid concept, but it was meant for a D type to mentor a D type and an s type to mentor an s type........ unless you are trying to learn a certain skill from someone that has experience with that skill or is a Master in that type of play/at that skill.
 

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