How do you tell your mate that he or she turns you off when they touch you? When you are making love and they touch you in a way that completely stops all sensations you were feeling?
How do you tell your mate that he or she turns you off when
- Thread starter yvonnewilcox
- Start date
I'd have to say direct but gentle would be the way to go or at least some good direction. For those who are a bit stand offish when it comes to telling your lover things I would recommend using your hands to show and direct the other in a manor that is arousing for you and eventually they should get the point.
Tired to tell him in a nice way but he is not hearing!
I have tired to tell him that his touches is turning me off but he tell me about the ladies he been with in the past that enjoyed the way he touched them. That might be true but I think that all women are different just like all men are different. I wonder if the ladies actually liked it or they just did not want to say anything.
Some people believe are person is enjoying it if they are not complaining but if you do not plan to be with that person again some people might feel like it is not their place to say anything just say that was a horrible session and never repeat it again.
I have tired to tell him that his touches is turning me off but he tell me about the ladies he been with in the past that enjoyed the way he touched them. That might be true but I think that all women are different just like all men are different. I wonder if the ladies actually liked it or they just did not want to say anything.
Some people believe are person is enjoying it if they are not complaining but if you do not plan to be with that person again some people might feel like it is not their place to say anything just say that was a horrible session and never repeat it again.
Just try by telling them exactly when it feels good and if they do something that doesn't do the old "left a bit, right a bit ooooooo"
I wish it was that easy
My husband is so head strong on being the man that he does not listen to me at all during sex that is one of the reasons I like being dominate with him to show him how that feels when someone just take over your body but even when I am dominate he still cums LOL so he misses the whole point I was trying to make. I give up!!
My husband is so head strong on being the man that he does not listen to me at all during sex that is one of the reasons I like being dominate with him to show him how that feels when someone just take over your body but even when I am dominate he still cums LOL so he misses the whole point I was trying to make. I give up!!
In general i would say talk more with him, but if he is really not listening and you cant get him with negative feedback try to give him positive one, try to tell him how good it feels if he is doing the right thing and don't react on the "bad" things... and as you are dominating him sometimes why not order him to do exactly what you like him to do and then tell him how good it felt...
Wow, why didn't I think of this.
You know I never really thought about it like this. I guess I was just wanting him to recognize on his own what was giving me pleasure or not giving me pleasure to me.
You know I never really thought about it like this. I guess I was just wanting him to recognize on his own what was giving me pleasure or not giving me pleasure to me.
I'm in a similar boat, my girlfriend has never been able to make me come, but that's usually because she's quite selfish and doesn't want to spend more than 2 - 3 minutes pleasing me.
It's hard for me to tell her to do things differently because she finds the idea of me masturbating on my own repulsive so I tend to avoid anything related to that topic, which includes how for her to do it properly.. the one time I tried to direct her, she was like "and how would you know?" >_>
Oh, and she's my first girlfriend (and has been for over a year) so I can't use the previous girlfriend argument.
As for you, if your boyfriend is that headstrong and thinks he's so amazing, then maybe you should try and bring him back down to earth by mixing positive and negative reinforcement together. ("No, not there you idiot, go back to what you were doing before... that's more like it..")
It's hard for me to tell her to do things differently because she finds the idea of me masturbating on my own repulsive so I tend to avoid anything related to that topic, which includes how for her to do it properly.. the one time I tried to direct her, she was like "and how would you know?" >_>
Oh, and she's my first girlfriend (and has been for over a year) so I can't use the previous girlfriend argument.
As for you, if your boyfriend is that headstrong and thinks he's so amazing, then maybe you should try and bring him back down to earth by mixing positive and negative reinforcement together. ("No, not there you idiot, go back to what you were doing before... that's more like it..")
Well, with my partner..
My partner and I have been together 6 months and we've been active almost every single day of it. In the beginning he was too big for me and when we really got involved, he'd end up hurting me quite a bit. I put an end to it by pushing my palms flat against his chest and pulling away, saying something along the lines of "If you don't slow down, we can't do this."
Then it was that he'd get off and I'd be left high and dry. After a week of it, I finally told him that I wanted to feel "special", and what he was doing was making me feel like some one-night stand he wasn't going to have to see ever again. He apologized and we haven't really had problems since.
However, the most frequently used phrase between us is "What do you want?" And if one of us is pleasing the other(like giving oral or something), we always make sure to ask if the other likes what we're doing. That way we know, and the other person is given an opportunity to ask something different or correct.
It's a fundamental relationship thing, I think. How somebody is with you in the bedroom reflects a lot about how they see the relationship. Sit down and have a talk with your partner. Tell them that, as much as you enjoy being with them, you want more feedback both ways. And then try to work on it from there.
My partner and I have been together 6 months and we've been active almost every single day of it. In the beginning he was too big for me and when we really got involved, he'd end up hurting me quite a bit. I put an end to it by pushing my palms flat against his chest and pulling away, saying something along the lines of "If you don't slow down, we can't do this."
Then it was that he'd get off and I'd be left high and dry. After a week of it, I finally told him that I wanted to feel "special", and what he was doing was making me feel like some one-night stand he wasn't going to have to see ever again. He apologized and we haven't really had problems since.
However, the most frequently used phrase between us is "What do you want?" And if one of us is pleasing the other(like giving oral or something), we always make sure to ask if the other likes what we're doing. That way we know, and the other person is given an opportunity to ask something different or correct.
It's a fundamental relationship thing, I think. How somebody is with you in the bedroom reflects a lot about how they see the relationship. Sit down and have a talk with your partner. Tell them that, as much as you enjoy being with them, you want more feedback both ways. And then try to work on it from there.
I know this thread is old and such but I thought I would throw my two cents in....
I always just gently take over (if its something like a handjob or oral) and show her what I like or tell her to do somethign a certain way. No point in you just toughing it out, it probably isn't the easiest or the best thing your partner's done all day either, so why not teach em and they can teach you.
Its all a learning process in a relationship, soon enough you guys will be able to reach peaks unimaginable before.
I always just gently take over (if its something like a handjob or oral) and show her what I like or tell her to do somethign a certain way. No point in you just toughing it out, it probably isn't the easiest or the best thing your partner's done all day either, so why not teach em and they can teach you.
Its all a learning process in a relationship, soon enough you guys will be able to reach peaks unimaginable before.
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