Inexperienced and too old to be so, is there a cure?

TallInoccent

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Submissive
Dec 29, 2008
2
0
0
#1
This is going to sound a lil out of place, but I'm curious about what you guys think.

I'm 24 now and have never had any kind of real relationship with anybody, bar an odd closeness to people online. This freaks people out and I'm not sure what to do about that. Unlike what you might think, I really don't consider myself to be a social retard, I've just simply had other priorities (I've aquired a few random degrees here and there).

Here's my question, what do you guys think I should do? I feel lonley and lost, dating sites never result in much more than an msn contact that drifts away slowly. I think my main problem is I don't know what I want.

Can anybody relate to this? What do you think I need? Can you help?

p.s. sorry if it sounds whiney :p
 
Last edited:

Saxon

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Switch
Dec 18, 2008
9
0
0
#2
I can somewhat relate, I've been freinds with girls, but nothing more for most of my life, it is only in the last few months I got really close to my (now) girlfreind. My main advice is to scrap dating websites and just get out there. Don't look for a partner, just let them come to you, don't meet up with people to try and spark a relationship on the offchance. Meet for the hell of it, and just try your best. Theres no "secret" to getting a partner just be yourself, there is no point in pretending to be someone your not, because even if you attract someone using an act, then they will be shocked and you will lose them when they realise it is just an act. Just be yourself and go to a few pubs and clubs!
 

TallInoccent

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Submissive
Dec 29, 2008
2
0
0
#3
Thanks for replying Saxon :), I guess that you are right and it's helpfull to hear words like that

I've heard the line that pubs and clubs are the way to go.. but honestly don't see how people score in those places :p I get nice and tipsy, dance like a drunken orc, then wake up with a pounding hangover.. there's obviously something I'm missing in there somewhere :p
 

HornyAndLooking

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
Dec 10, 2008
14
0
0
#4
I can tell you what's wrong with that scenario. You're waking up in the wrong place and you need a slightly different "pounding". lol ;)

Ok, maybe that was just too obvious. But that's how my sense of humor works most of the time.

In reality I'm in the same boat as you. Needing to find open minded partners. And that's really hard in the small town I live in.
 

bordendazed

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
Jul 9, 2008
36
0
0
Indiana
#5
Not a whine. more of a rant. But real none-the-less.

Case in point: "I don't know what I want".

Well? Do you want to murder a child, to love a puppy, to hack the Interent, to hang yourself in public, to masturbate to the Flinstones, to become a security guard, marry a virgin, find yourself as the next PopStar(R) or what?

This is the issue, and nothing can progress beyond that.

Try "Plentyoffish.com" - yea, it's free and easy to modify and you can then see what is out there first by looking. That may give ideas as to what you want; at least on the surface - yea look at the "same gender" adverts too - it never hurts to see what's the "competition".

Really, I think you just are lonely and haven't taken the effort to know what is out there beyond a few casual friends and maybe a "part-time lover" or two, and therefore have not defined yourself in this manner.

There is a world of opportunity and one (or two or more!) for everyone, as long as you are sincere and specific - and yes one or three also out there who are just lost; but they aren't much fun once you find out they are just boat anchors...

Make something of yourself (define "you"), believe in it and then offer it and see what happens.

"Been there done that - many many times"

Good luck, my friend.

BND
 

Dirt

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Submissive
Jun 9, 2012
42
0
0
#6
Well, do you think it would be so much better to have had countless meaningless relationships by now? You would still be single and bring in a ton of baggage in your next (potentially equally meaningless) "relationship" and live inside a viscous cycle like so many do. I think there's nothing wrong with taking your time and trying to find a partner that you actually care about and could be "the one".

(Yeah you wouldn't have expected to read something like that on a fetish website, but whatever.)
 

John Masters

Not so kinky
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Slave
Sep 14, 2009
29
2
0
#8
It really does depend on what sort of relationship you are looking for.

If your first priority is a vanilla relationship then find a social group with people of your own age and join in the activities, make friends and have fun.

If you are looking for a Dominant/submissive relationship then try joining a group or club dedicated to that type of activity. You can meet people on line with whom you can have a relationship but it is very hit and miss and the success rate is much much lower.

But hey, have fun socialising, and when you are not out and about have fun chatting to like minded people online; just don't hide behind the computer and do nothing else.
 

smlldckbnd

Not so kinky
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Submissive
Jun 27, 2009
201
0
0
Baltimore
smlldckbnd.tumblr.com
#10
I would say to try and figure out some things that you like to do.
Do you to go hiking? join a local club that hikes trails nearby and goes out later for dinner.
Do you like canoeing/kayaking? join up for one of the clubs
find local "singles" meet up groups. There's usually no pressure with them and some do local things like hikes or museum tours or just hangouts at a different bar each week.
Get out and make new friends.
You're 24, and it sounds like you've spent most of that time at school and/or working or both. You're still young.