Kink Talk usage poll.

[Doctor Pervert]

Shit remember the one “Dom” who got called out on stuff and then he makes a burner submissive account and replied to his own post as if he was a sub responding to his Dom ad.

This has happened a few times, usually I shut it down before it gets going because several accounts on the same IP always get checked out. The most elaborate had 4 sub accounts set up, it never saw the light of day because I banned them all. Just think how much time and effort that requires, ridiculous...

 

[Cattivo]

To be fair, lots of fakes and time wasters both male and female, Doms and subs.

But it should also be said that there are from time to time genuine people, I've been lucky enough to have had a couple of wonderful subs, and sites such as this and GD are a great way for people who are either not interested or not able to explore their kink side in real life to still experience it online and scratch the itch.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

To be fair, lots of fakes and time wasters both male and female, Doms and subs.

But it should also be said that there are from time to time genuine people, I've been lucky enough to have had a couple of wonderful subs, and sites such as this and GD are a great way for people who are either not interested or not able to explore their kink side in real life to still experience it online and scratch the itch.

This is a great summary of the situation as it stands. As @subzzzero pointed out before, the number of active members makes it near on impossible to find a real life partner here, but when you remove the geographic component there are plenty of opportunities for online relationships.

The issue has always been sorting the fakes from the real to be able to form an actual bond with someone. Only the patient and persistent get there, or you have to be extremely lucky, and this to me is the core problem. The damage done by the fakes is putting off a lot of genuine people, likely for good in many cases.

 

[subzzzero]

Here’s some numbers. With regards to this site and online only dynamics.
I’ve been 8-10yrs on this site.
-zero local dynamics from here
-15ish dynamics lasting between 6 months to a year or more.
-30-50 short term play partners
More than half of both groups above came to me and initiated the conversation based on my history or a comment that drew their attention.

Other site
15yrs similar numbers.
Add in 6 locals that started online


Now the indirect numbers are what also adds up. Finding a messenger kink group on this and other sites leads to long term group participation and in turn I also found people in those groups. No accurate count

Locally via munches and meets
10 long term dynamics
15-20 play partners
Too many topping scenes to count at dungeons and meets.

Now those all seem ok if you’re seeking out just the success.
I’d estimate 500-1000 overall contacts that didn’t work out. Or didn’t get past the initial convo. Didn’t get a reply to a reach out. Or was ghosted deleted closed account etc.

So both High end numbers 40 success out of 1000 chances.

 

[Doctor Pervert]

More stats

Registrations this month (12 days): 144
Spam/scam/findom etc: 56
Total valid users: 88 = ave 7.33 per day.

	Male	Female
Sub/slave	35	7
Dom/switch	25 *7 private	7 *1private
Totals	67	15

* there were 6 registrations as other genders.

Of these 88 new members, 14 have posted once and 4 have posted more than one thing.

 

[pmme_yourfork]

So, i got i to bdsm stuff a while ago, actualy around the age of 17-18 on Wattpad (that teen book/storry publishing app) and after a year or so i took a 4year break to play videogames.

Shortly before i registered here i started again, it is suprising how many 18-22year olds are doing kink stuff over on wattpad, and even more impressive, the female/male count there feels like 4/1

I got on Kinktalk for education to find ideas and be saver about play.
Then i searched for playmates on here.

well, the usual sharktank, so i was only moderatly sucessfull with short and longer term plamates. On watpad however i even found my current (long distance) romantik and kink partner.

So i would only visit here for advice and no longer to search out play.

Something wattpad does to combat spam is limiting the amount of new conversations a person can start per day to like 10, it would be an option to include that for new account with like 5new a day and also perhaps dish out temp bans/silences for low effort/rude comments.

Genneral pinned newby advice migth also be helpfull, eg warning of wanabe doms.

 

[Cattivo]

The issue has always been sorting the fakes from the real to be able to form an actual bond with someone. Only the patient and persistent get there, or you have to be extremely lucky, and this to me is the core problem. The damage done by the fakes is putting off a lot of genuine people, likely for good in many cases.

The phrase you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince comes to mind...

Obviously, for any relationship to work there has to be a bond, and that's not easy to do online and as you say requires patience and persistence. But to reiterate my (hopefully) positive point, I suspect that for many people the ability to experiment and play with kink is only possible online. They may have real life relationships, commitments and constraints that wouldn't accommodate real kink relationships, and so sites such as this and GD provide a great place to dip their toes and potentially satisfy their kink desires.

Again, as to the fakes and time wasters that's inevitable. In my very humble opinion it's not only the wannabe doms who are a problem, in my experience plenty of people identifying as subs are just looking for attention that they can seemingly only get by offering themselves 'anonymously' online. It's generally pretty easy to spot them once you've been playing a while, and in any case, the effort of a message or two to determine that the person you're talking to isn't going to work out isn't all that onerous.

I don't think it's worth getting disheartened by the situation, set expectations realistically and enjoy the odd occasional successful encounters if and when they occur and brush off the rest as the cost of playing online.