Masturbation mishaps

[Doctor Pervert]

The idea for this thread was inspired by a story I heard a while back, basically its kind of a cautionary about anything that you may have tried while masturbating that has gone badly wrong.
So the story was told by a woman about when she was in her teens, she had discovered masturbation and quickly enlisted her electric toothbrush as a makeshift vibrator. She had been using it for months and progressed from using the brush end as a wand to inserting the handle section as a full on vibrating dildo. One evening during her playtime the toothbrush stopped vibrating so she pulled it out to investigate and was horrified to find the battery door had popped off and was missing as were the 2 batteries! In a flat panic she fished around with her fingers but was unable to find either the batteries or the door.
At the time she was living in a rural area over 100kms from the nearest town so a visit to the doctor or ER was out so after more than an hour of her panicked attempts still hadn't located anything she finally went to her dad. Turned out her mum was visiting family so her only choice was dad. After a rapid confession and explanation her very uncomfortable dad managed to extract the missing batteries and door using a long spoon.
Apparently they both avoided eye contact for months after that!

I guess the moral here is if you use an improvised make sure you work out anything that could come off and get lost!

Anyone else have any mishaps or misadventures they'd like tot share?

 

[DeedeeDay]

In my younger days I was dating a girl and she had this great idea of slipping a large keyring over my semi hard cock and then working me up to full hardness. The ring became very tight and my cock turned a very deep shade of purple and started hurting. On amount of pulling would move the ring then my girlfriend had the idea that if I orgasmed my cock would shrink and the ring might slip off easier. I was pretty desperate to get the ring off so I agreed and my girlfriend gave me the most painful hand job of my life. After sometime I managed to orgasmed but the ring was so tight it stopped my cum from coming out. My cock softened a little but not fully and we reverted to pulling but it still would not shift.
My girlfriend went off to raid her father toolbox and came back with some pilers, side cutters and hacksaw, on seeing the hacksaw said you can forget trying that. We managed to work the cutters under the ring and tried to cut it. Those keyrings are made from spring steel and it took some pressure to cut through, we ended up with me resting my cock on a small table with her standing on the table and present the cutters with her foot. Eventually the ring snipped through and part of the ring came off but part of it was left my girlfriend in frustration picked up the pilers and grabbed the remaining ring and pulled. The rest of the ring off. In the process of doing this my cock sustained a cut and my girlfriend went off to fetch the first aid kit. On opening it she found there to be no plasters and went off to ask her mum if she had any. On her return she said she told her mum I'd cut myself as it was obvious she hadn't and her mum had fished about in her hand bag and gave her a plaster which she brought up. She was in the process of sticking this plaster on my cock when her bedroom door opens and her mum is standing there holding another plaster saying I've found a bigger one if yo u need it.
I was embarrassed, my girlfriend was laughing her head off and her mum disappeared for a few seconds and returned with a bottle and some cottonwood saying you'll need antiseptic on that. Before I knew it my girlfriend's mother is dabbing my cock and applying a plaster to it all the time making jokes like you don't want to get that infected and dropping off and telling her daughter to file her nails smoother in future.

Her mother finished patching me up and patted my cock saying it will be as good a new in a few days and went off. I was dying from embarrassment but my girlfriend was rolling about laughing so much she had to go to the loo before she went herself.

I managed to get out the house latter with bumping into her mother again but a week later when I called around it was her mother who opened the door to let me in, I couldn't look her in the face as we had a small chat but she didn't mention the incident until I was starting up the stairs when she shouts up behind me, all heeled now are we, now go carefully but just incase I've bought some more plasters .

I was really embarrassed by this at the time but look back on it with some sexual excitement now days.

 

[karabennemsy]

loooooooooooooooooool

 

[Doctor Pervert]

In my younger days I was dating a girl and she had this great idea of slipping a large keyring over my semi hard cock and then working me up to full hardness. The ring became very tight and my cock turned a very deep shade of purple and started hurting. On amount of pulling would move the ring then my girlfriend had the idea that if I orgasmed my cock would shrink and the ring might slip off easier. I was pretty desperate to get the ring off so I agreed and my girlfriend gave me the most painful hand job of my life. After sometime I managed to orgasmed but the ring was so tight it stopped my cum from coming out. My cock softened a little but not fully and we reverted to pulling but it still would not shift.
My girlfriend went off to raid her father toolbox and came back with some pilers, side cutters and hacksaw, on seeing the hacksaw said you can forget trying that. We managed to work the cutters under the ring and tried to cut it. Those keyrings are made from spring steel and it took some pressure to cut through, we ended up with me resting my cock on a small table with her standing on the table and present the cutters with her foot. Eventually the ring snipped through and part of the ring came off but part of it was left my girlfriend in frustration picked up the pilers and grabbed the remaining ring and pulled. The rest of the ring off. In the process of doing this my cock sustained a cut and my girlfriend went off to fetch the first aid kit. On opening it she found there to be no plasters and went off to ask her mum if she had any. On her return she said she told her mum I'd cut myself as it was obvious she hadn't and her mum had fished about in her hand bag and gave her a plaster which she brought up. She was in the process of sticking this plaster on my cock when her bedroom door opens and her mum is standing there holding another plaster saying I've found a bigger one if yo u need it.
I was embarrassed, my girlfriend was laughing her head off and her mum disappeared for a few seconds and returned with a bottle and some cottonwood saying you'll need antiseptic on that. Before I knew it my girlfriend's mother is dabbing my cock and applying a plaster to it all the time making jokes like you don't want to get that infected and dropping off and telling her daughter to file her nails smoother in future.

Her mother finished patching me up and patted my cock saying it will be as good a new in a few days and went off. I was dying from embarrassment but my girlfriend was rolling about laughing so much she had to go to the loo before she went herself.

I managed to get out the house latter with bumping into her mother again but a week later when I called around it was her mother who opened the door to let me in, I couldn't look her in the face as we had a small chat but she didn't mention the incident until I was starting up the stairs when she shouts up behind me, all heeled now are we, now go carefully but just incase I've bought some more plasters .

I was really embarrassed by this at the time but look back on it with some sexual excitement now days.

Now that is a great cautionary tale, and bloody funny to boot!
Just a quick word to anyone who is silly enough to find themselves in this kind of bind, cold water, lots of cold water and then some lube...

 

[DeedeeDay]

Now that is a great cautionary tale, and bloody funny to boot!
Just a quick word to anyone who is silly enough to find themselves in this kind of bind, cold water, lots of cold water and then some lube...

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but bloody annoying.