My partner is vanilla but I'm a very kinky person

[BladeMiau]

My partner and I have been in a relationship for a year and at the beginning we were both exploring bdsm and trying new things out every now and then but after all this time I just found out he was faking enjoying giving me commands and humiliating me. I've been a submissive for 4 years now and I feel the need to submit in order to feel fulfilled. I know I can't push bdsm onto my partner but it's very hurtful for the both of us to be in this situation. And another problem might be that if we manage to sort things out and include some bondage during sex I would still not feel complete because I am a mix of a submissive and a slave and I need to submit outside the bedroom as well. Any advice?

 

[subdream]

I'm sorry that nobody gave any advice yet. And I'm honest with you: I can't give you the right answer since it depends on you and your partner. In my opinion, you have the following options:

1. You can live with no kink, but from what you wrote I assume that's not possible.
2. You talk with your partner and you find a way for you to enjoy your kinky side outside your relationship. Since it isn't per se connected with sexual aspects, that might be an option for you - sexual relationship with your parner, BDSM relationship with somebody else.
3. You talk with your partner and you don't find a way as mentioned above. Than you can either try #1 with that in mind or end the relationship. I'm sorry.

Which option is your option is very much up to both of you.

 

[andrei]

You are submissive, you can't "force" him into anything. He "faked" trying to understand you but probably he wasn't up to it because he discovered he wasn't into that from the beginning. Don't expect him to be dominant because you want him to be. Don't be upset on him, he tried his best for you.
You should understand each other and maybe start with a common game play between you for a start. How about a strip game or a truth-dare one to open your chatting between you? I just think you are really asking too much from him. Have you considered his personal desires about you? Like what if he posted a message somewhere about why you are not what he wanted? Just imagine. Maybe you both are the same in thinking but just hide from each other.