need honest answers, not sexting.

ferrouslingua

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Jun 6, 2021
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Hello, everyone. My girlfriend and I are interested in trying some things and I need honest answers about how to set it up. I admitted to her that I had thoughts of her being with another guy and she opened up and said she had been wanting to try it. She seems to really be into the mental/humiliation aspect of it and I'm comfortable with it because we have a really strong trust and I know ultimately we will be safe and whatever roleplay happens we are going home together and both enjoying it. I thought I'd take her to a glory hole and let her try things out while I watch or take part. Seems the "tamest" or least risky. She brought up the idea of having a party at our place and we'd get high (we both like pnp, coke, etc) and wander off the bedroom with a guest. We discussed it and actually came up with scenarios and turn ons. She'd "pretend" to be sneaking at it and during tell the guy to get a friend. One thing I wanted, and she really liked, was at some point, a guy comes out, whispers to another, "dude, she's taking it up the ass". I'd want to quietly go in, and see some dude offering her a line, she begs for it but he's like, "not until i'm in your ass" he puts it in front of her, teases, and finally lets her have it right as he goes in. (this is her, not me...) she starts begging for more and says she'll do anything, lets them piss on her, wipe cum on her face, slap her tits, choke her. i was honestly surprised, but very turned on by it. So, is this not a safe place to start our journey, is this too much too soon? She also talked about a pubic fantasy that i pretend not to know her. I feel like we are very honest and open and trustful, but I can't help wonder if i'm just being a perv. I see an honest desire from her and i love seeing her happy so i don't feel like i'm pressuring her.
 

droptokon

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May 19, 2013
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Ok my two cents here.

Seems from what you've said you've made the right start, open honest discussion is the only way to go in any situation like this and you seem to have that working for you.

Aside from that you also need to start clearly laying out what's fantasy at this point and what is not just reality but safe, doable reality. The safety side of this is something you have obviously thought about and there are two main factors to consider here. Physical safety is something you really need to watch out for in a major way, while you two understand and have agreed on rules, potential playmates might not play by those rules. Second is hygiene safety, STD's are a very real thing and reports recently are saying they are on the increase so *protection*.

For both reasons it's a far better idea to start out with a single play partner that you know well enough and trust to take safety seriously and stick to your rules. Yes this may seem lame compared to your fantasies but honestly it's not worth the risks to do otherwise. This is an issue with a lot of the bdsm porn that creates a lot of these fantasy ideas for you to watch creating an expectation that this goes on all the time and is some sort or easy thing to arrange.

One final caution, beware of mixing drugs, parties and this kind of "forced" play. This is exactly the kind of scenario where someone a bit too high goes too far and does something really bad. I say this as you made mention of choking which is something that needs absolute attention as well as lots of practice and training. Have fun by all means but stay safe and make sure your partner stays safe too.
 

gbdare

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From what you've said, she is as (if not more) into the idea as you are, so I don't think you need to worry too much about just being a perv out for your own selfish interests. Even so, fantasy and reality are very different things and what seems hot and exciting in your heads can get overwhelming and scary really fast when faced with the reality of it. My recommendation is to go a little tamer for your first experience. Maybe start with one or two guys the first time and if you both enjoy it you can build up from there. The glory hole idea is definitely on the tamer end as compared to the party scenario, but one thing to keep in mind is STIs. Interacting sexually with random strangers who frequent glory holes is really not very safe from that perspective! Most STIs are treatable, but HIV/AIDS is more serious and it does exist in the heterosexual population - it's not just a gay thing! Another one to watch out for is chlamydia as it's often asymptomatic but untreated it can result in long-term health problems, especially in women. So, my advice is to play as safely as you can in terms of avoiding STIs and get tested on a regular basis if you're going to do things with multiple partners who might or might not be taking many precautions themselves.
 
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