Need some tips/advice (M&F welcome)

[KittiKatAngel]

First post, woo! Lol

I'll start this off by saying that no, I'm not looking for anyone right now. My guy and I agreed to play a game of phone tag. He's always full of great ideas and very imaginative, meanwhile it's hard for me to plan very well. Can someone give me ideas on what dares/tasks he could do as well as some ideas I can surprise him with?

Btw: he's very fluid. I'm more on the submissive side but he enjoys when I dominate him as well, in the rare instances that I do lol. Thanks

 

[CuriouslyInterested]

Can you list his likes/dislikes/limits so people can give you better suggestions? Will be be doing them at home or will be possibly be out somewhere? Will be have any toys or equipment handy, or will you if you surprise him and switch?

 

[KittiKatAngel]

Sorry, should have been more specific lol.

I don't exactly know what his likes/dislikes/limits are, he's pretty much down for mostly anything. But he's (as well as I am) not into anything extreme like pee/poop, bleeding, permanent marks, overtly public scenes, family/friends. He's not okay with anal unless it's reciprocated. We've talked about pet play and that's something we may consider. I acted out on a semi public dare for him, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind if the same was done to him. I'll definitely ask him about it though.

I should also specify that this is going to be an online play deal for the majority of the time. We've only started off roughly a week ago. So far I've incorporated my toys into the fun, but more equipment may be incorporated later the further we get into it, perhaps improvise with things we find around the place lol. Hopefully this helps out a bit

 

[MasterMichaelNY]

there are sites on the internet were you can take tests, were you want to start is your common kinks, common ground, and build from there. Then explore other kinks that he likes and you would like to experiment with. Then when your done with that, you start to explore your soft limits, if you didn't like it, red ink it, and move on.

 

[HarmlessBeast]

I a now 48, but when I was in junior high, a girl and I would exchange "orders" that we had to do, then report back to the other person about what we liked and didn't. In this way we figured out a lot of our kinks/limits.
You said:
" He's always full of great ideas and very imaginative, meanwhile it's hard for me to plan very well. Can someone give me ideas on what dares/tasks he could do as well as some ideas I can surprise him with?"

I think the important parts of what you said are that he has great imaginative ideas and that you want to "GIVE ME" ideas. I understand that you said that you are more submissive, but that doesn't mean you don't have great ideas. I am also a switch who started mostly as a sub, and one of the hardest parts of having good ideas was accepting that I WAS having ideas. Next time you do one of his tasks, pay close attention to your thoughts. You probably have thoughts like "I'm glad he didn't make me do X" or "What if he made me do X?" or maybe "OH what about X?". If you do think things like this, they probably come and go quickly. Maybe keep a pad and jot down quick ideas.

The next important part if you DO have these ideas is trying them. Originally I would have ideas that I didn't think were very good, so I wouldn't share them. But once I did share some, the other person would give me feed back. "I liked N, but Y did nothing for me", or "I hated Z." This lets you know variations of N are probably going to be good, Y is probably not the best options WITH THIS PARTNER, and Z would be best as a punishment.

Most importantly, is that these are YOUR ideas!! I might be able to give you "better" ideas for tasks for him, but they are MY ideas. There are literally hundreds of places he can get ideas from other people (including this one) but he is asking YOU for them. So don't worry much about how "good" your ideas are. Maybe his ideas are only original to you because they are different than what you think of. My advice is just trust yourself and talk to him. You may surprise yourself how much he enjoys doing tasks because they ARE from YOU.