Not a switch - but...

[rogueanus]

In short, I identify as a bottom (little) and as a Dominant/Daddy.
However, I can't switch. If I'm seeing somebody, I'm strictly the Dominant or the bottom, never both at any given time throughout the relationship.
My issue is that I thought my bottom "side" was no longer relevant to myself, I had gone months without feeling like a bottom.

So I had focused on being a Dominant, until someone came along who made me naturally slip into a bottom headspace.
Which is great and all, except for the fact that even outside of that dynamic I can't switch it off to be Dominant (Thus far) with anybody else.
(Ethically non-monogamous) - Even as far as my posting on social media Dom profiles has slowed and feels forced.

Bottom line: Has anybody else experienced this frustrating event of not being a switch, but experiencing both opposite headspaces, and how do you balance them?

It's not as if I have no interest, it's just a headspace I struggle to get into while having someone in my life who naturally makes me feel like a bottom.
This is about me, not others, it's not a lack of willing to open a fluid dynamic, it's my inability to do so.

 

[kaylessa]

This is about me, not others, it's not a lack of willing to open a fluid dynamic, it's my inability to do so.

And why is that inability wrong? I mean... isn't it all about having fun the way you like it? I don't think that a switch must be able to experience both ways at the same time or with the same person. I'd go thus far as to claim that at least most switches can't "switch" with the same person. But still... nothing wrong with either way.

Now regarding your question: yes I did experience this. In fact, I experience it all the time. Some people make me feel dominant, some make me feel submissive. Also it depends on my mood. When I'm in a dominant-ish mood, sometimes I'm unable to submit and feel rather indifferent with people I usually feel submissive to and vice versa. On the other hand sometimes I can mix it up even at the same time. Well... I guess it depends.

For a very long time I thought being a switch was poor. I tried to push myself into one role just for the sake of being a "normal" kinkster. Since I'm leaning strongly to the submissive side, that went well for quite a while, but I couldn't keep myself and sometimes being dominant was just so natural.

Eventually I accepted that being myself is the only way to be happy. I consider myself mostly switch now, but still I can't pinpoint it. But do I need to? Do you need to?