Question Time

[Becks]

Hi

I was wondering if I could get some advice from potential BSDM friends.

I have never been sure if I am a sub , Dom or Switch.

I like to be in control and hate being told what to do and love being the centre of attention and bossing people around, but I have always secretly been looking for the Man / Woman strong enough to break me.

So does that make me "an untrained sub", "a Dom without the confidence" or "an inexperianced switch"?

I am interested whether any of you had this dilema when you started as I am considering putting out a post for an "on line" thing but not sure how to market myself!

 

[mddk]

I'd suggest trying your hand at being both a slave and mistress and see which you settle into best.

DDK

 

[Becks]

Thanks

Thanks for the response,

To be fair the idea of Slave appeals greatly as the idea of being dominated by another person (con no-con) is one of my ultimate turn-on's. and finding someone strong enourgh to break my will (both sexually and generally) seems impossible.

However, reading other Sub posts and through chatting with a friend who is a sub and is really into the bdsm lifestyle, I suspect I would not make a good slave as I am too strong willed.

I suspect a Master (particularly in an online situation) would find an arguementative slave "annoying" rather than a "challenge to break".

I am not submissive in real life or in bed (although I have tried to get hubbie to try - but he is quite sub in bedroom)......and fear that my need to be dominated may be something that does not " fit" with my dominating personality, which I do have....

I am keen to hear from other sub's, surely I am not unique..... how do other deal with this? or do I close the door on these thoughts and go back my "vanilla" life!

 

[Talon]

Who is in control?

It is very frustrating to be in a "relationship" online and not be able to accomplish anything. I have been in those, where the girl says she is submissive, and always says no. Online there is no way to deal with it that I know of.

But, truthfully, the sub is kind of in control as she has to agree to what it happening, and controls the extent of it. she has to allow the Dom to control her.

Online, you may not be happy, but in person, you might be.

 

[masterlaw]

yup yup yup, this is quite common becks and you are not alone. 2 of my slaves have had similar feelings and its difficult to sort out, when you know ya role and love it, it makes a master/mistress life a bit easier and you can conentrate fully on your slave.

You see when it comes to master/slave relationship who is the main centre of attention, i would say that depends of style and your relationship. Like you state some woman like to bite back and have you earn there submission which is fair enough and can be an amazing experience.

Personnaly i have a bit of the same streak as you and like the idea of it, but i found unless u are lucky to find that girl or bloke who can control you. MY solution was this, bite your natrually feelings down and be a sub yet the master/mistress control you not easily (as u say its a turn on for yourself to be controlled properly) but submit more then you feelings would normally. From there you be amazed once you get into the role where it can take you and you learn about yourself and hopefully answer your own question.

Seeing your bi, try to be a sub to both a male and female compare the expierence, you will problary find one turned you on more. Then go straight into a mistress realationsip again with both sexs, where your own domainting skills can be used and see how much you enjoy that.

I would suggest starting online doms/subing due to your unsure nature but thats up to u, obviously u won`t get the full experience but hey you will have an idea.

After your "research" take a long look at yourself and see how u feel, find out which turned you on the most and try to do it more and go from there. You sound more a mistress to me if i was to guess, unless u find the ultimate switch person.

gl, give us a shout if you some more advice