Questioning my quality and technique

Should I be concerned I am doing something wrong?

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Geillis

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Private
May 28, 2020
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My husband and I went through a whole year (whilst off in another dimension for parts) but opened up and learned alot about ourselves and our intamacy. I found out about his interest in being pegged,learned about the world of strap ons and harnesses and fisting had plenty of regular dirty vaginal and anal sex as well. We became very spiritually and emotionally close and learned about ourselves and our relationship alot. It was a year or brutal honestly and brought us closer and I dont regret it for a minute. I hate tried every sex toy known to man and e had fun doing so. But since then,I've found that I'm struggling with endurance and stamina and I just feel like while he will please me first,he will expect almost endless, firm stimulation I just dont have the strength for anymore. I feel like I am disappointing him,like I'm never enough. Had anyone else had these feelings? How do you feel when the love of your life makes you feel like you just cant satisfy them like you used to? I am actually very feminine and have undergone sexual assault so I am careful to not push it to far but I feel like I'm not enough for him anymore. My heart is concerned. What can I do about this?K
 

jekil2020

Kinky Newbie
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
May 16, 2020
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I think you should build in some denial periods. When you have a lot of stiulation, you always wants/needs more to be satisfied. When you have a period of denial, then you need less stimulation to reach you satisfaction again.
 

subzzzero

Kink Talk Guru
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Dec 6, 2015
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So first i would ask is it the physical inability for you to keep pegging him that you're referring to? Or are you saying that your head just isn't in the game emotionally after a certain length of time?

If its just merely the physical aspect of thrusting look into a fucking machine. That way you can still control the speed and toys attached still having you in the power position of the situation.

Now if its the emotional aspect then it is time for a clothes on sober discussion between you both and what each one feels. You need to be open and honest or in the long run it only gets worse. Sometimes outside stressors like money, work, bills, can get in the head and mess up focus. Guys have it a lot where it prevents them from relaxing enough to get hard.

"I feel like I'm not enough for him anymore" To address this part. Just reading through your post here it shows a long term devotion to being open minded and connected deeply. Don't doubt yourself as it seems you have been awesome. Talk it out and address it all you guys are strong enough to succeed against this tiny speed bump.
Happy kinking.
 

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