Questions for Switches

nina

Verified Observer
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Private
Apr 13, 2016
855
720
93
How did you discover that you were a switch?

Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners asin being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way?

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub?
I first explored my submissive side. A couple of years (a brief hiatus from kinks) later I started developing a slight dominant mindset towards a friend in our interactions which was reciprocated and decided to explore my dominant side too

I prefer different roles with different partners

I would generally enter into D/s dynamic with a pure subby or a pure dommey mindset only.
 

kaylessa

Distinguished Member
  • Bisexual
  • Genderqueer
  • Switch
Jan 7, 2019
385
465
63
How did you discover that you were a switch?
I always thought I was submissve and only submissive. It all started well before puberty when I always identified with the captives in films and books. I imagined myself being captive and enjoyed the feeling. In fact my first explorations of sexual things derived from that.

Years later I found out that I'm also in a somewhat dominant role. I love to blindfold others. I love to put handcuffs on others. But I lean to the submissive side. My dream scenario is being the slave responsible for dealing punishment to other slaves on command of a dominant one.

Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners asin being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way?
In one of my former relationships I discovered that it's very difficult (at least for some people) to be submissive to somebody who already submitted to them. That said I am able to switch with the same partner and I already did so within my current relationship.

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub?
In my current relationship we love vanilla sex as well, so it's kind of a negotiation thing. We default to vanilla sex though.
 

MissKubo

Distinguished Member
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Switch
Apr 15, 2011
421
722
93
How did you discover that you were a switch?

I didn't even realize I was until my husband pointed it out, but the way I like to take charge with him is different to the way we like him to take charge of me. I'm happy to be tied, spanked, made his little slut et al.

I like to give him hard-ons in really inappropriate places, tease him, get him horny. In the bedroom, I like to ride him and try and deny him orgasm so I can get as many of mine from him as possible. Sometimes I like to lock him out and only let him back in when he's stripped naked. I don't like to tie him or "hurt" him (he doesn't really hurt me as such, we like spanking/whipping play, wax play, tight bondage, etc, but actually my pain threshold is quite low).


Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners asin being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way?

Whenever we play with others in our group, I'm submissive. Sometimes I'm involved in the restraining, teasing, tormenting and/or pleasuring of the other subs, but only if I'm asked to do so by the Dommes or Doms. There are some people on KinkTalk that like to engage in discussions with me in the submissive role, but then occasionally I've given some ideas to other submissives in a more dominant capacity as well

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub?

My husband and I are pretty good at gauging what kind of mood each other is in, so it tends to be a natural thing. I can tell when he's had a new idea that he's thinking about discussing with me, he kind of has this quiet intensity along with a solid erection, and I guess it excites me that he's so excited about it that I go to being the submissive for him. I suppose if he's horny, or we both are together, I'll pretty much end up the sub unless he's tired and in the mood for letting me take charge. If I'm horny and he's concentrating on something else, then it's me that will usually take the lead, unless I'm specifically turned on by the thought of being submissive
 

LuxiLuciferous

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Switch
Dec 25, 2018
6
1
3
England, Plymouth
First off, I know it may seem odd to see me post in this section as I’m not a switch and don’t look to be one. However, I must admit that I find it intriguing and I’m curious to know how it is for those who identifies themselves as switches.

So to all switches, I’ve got a few questions for you so you may ne able to satisfy my curiosity :)

The first thing that comes to my mind is this: I’ve read many stories and posts on how people got to discover either their dominant or submissive side… How did you discover that you were a switch?

Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners asin being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way?

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub?

Sorry if these questions sounds obvious or silly but I don’t recall reading anything on this and seeing that there seem to be a good number of members who identifies themselves as switches I think I’m gonna be able to understand the dynamic a bit better with your help :)

Thanks for reading :)

Chloe
For me I'm more on the dominant side with most partners but if my partner is more dominating with me for that session or just in general I don't really mind. We usually decide based off mood and confidence and state of mind. I might be feeling a bit self conscious so I would bottom for example.
 

Sissy4Abuse

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Male
  • Switch
Jun 10, 2021
4
1
3
50
First off, I know it may seem odd to see me post in this section as I’m not a switch and don’t look to be one. However, I must admit that I find it intriguing and I’m curious to know how it is for those who identifies themselves as switches.

So to all switches, I’ve got a few questions for you so you may ne able to satisfy my curiosity :)

The first thing that comes to my mind is this: I’ve read many stories and posts on how people got to discover either their dominant or submissive side… How did you discover that you were a switch?

Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners asin being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way?

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub?

Sorry if these questions sounds obvious or silly but I don’t recall reading anything on this and seeing that there seem to be a good number of members who identifies themselves as switches I think I’m gonna be able to understand the dynamic a bit better with your help :)

Thanks for reading :)

Chloe
These are not silly questions.

The first thing that comes to my mind is this: I’ve read many stories and posts on how people got to discover either their dominant or submissive side… How did you discover that you were a switch? For a long time i didn't think i was a switch i thought i was a submissive only. However, once my Dominant at the time offered me the chance to see what it was like on the other side. i accepted the offer and learned so much about my self in the process. i discovered that i truly enjoyed being on the Dominate side of things. i still prefer to be the submissive more than the Dominate in a relationship.

Do you prefer to have different roles with different partners assign being submissive to one person and dominant with another? Does it make it easier that way? Honestly, when in a relationship i find it is easier and less muddled if we stick to the roles of one being the Dominate and the other being the submissive without swapping roles. So the answer for this question is different partners for different roles as that make keeping the headspace purest.

Or if you’re in a relationship with another switch how and/or to decide when one will be the Dom and one the sub? i have found that while people may like being in both roles; in general, they have a preference for one over the other and the most successful relationships are with those people whom have the preference for the role you dont.
 

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