Sub safety, rules, proper Dom training

LilBecca4095

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Jan 8, 2022
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I had a reread of the entire thread:

Vetted for savety: Report function, Option to verryfiy profile via admins, Explaind in Forum.
Anonymity: posting of Face pics is strictly not permited, even showing a warning everytime posting something, as can be read on forum.
Questions only keep away newbies, dont creeps. BDSM related stuff can be googled, Political opinions are rather personal and not that googleable.
Where would a dom get training if not here, where would a sub get training if not here? see Tenage sex, akward at first, lots of experimenting around,trying stuff out, reading lots. Predators are already well versed in most of these things, while the unaware, needing education and self finding are not.
On this site, subs are about 50/50 male and female i would roughly guess.
System for reporting intruisive doms is in place, a report function under every post, message, picture, private and public.
Vetting... well, its a forum about open discussion, if someone has questions, there are tonns of members ready to answer. asigning vets to people that migth never come again seem unnecesary. allso see ranks aka Kinky Newby, member ect.


Pinned savety stuff, more or less exsist, can be better. only real valid point so far. most other things are questions that can be found out within 10mins of looking at the forum. Pinned savety stuff could have been a modmail, see how its handled on reddit.

Forum got 55.876 MEMBERS, questioning everyone upon registration is quite a challenge and not fesible for the 3? i have seen so far admins, automated questioning can be tricked effortlessly and provida a false layer of protection.

There already exsist threads with lists of scammers ect, If someone uses a dom for self harm, phew thats a difficult topic, already had someone on here that was like this, perhaps self harm, perhaps just wanting levels of pain i was not comfortable with. I broke off contact after telling her that this is not what im looking for.

Since you had a look at my Profile already :) you migth have read that i consider myself experimental, open to try everything, learn new thing, and that im "only" barely 22 myself, are you trying to shame me for commenting on a thread of a 18 year old? perhaps actualy read what that thead was about, the only thing i would say i messed up was one pronown.

Gennealy, i would consider myself as a advokate for healt and savety, i dont have anny issues with your opinion, rather the way you seem to ignore general netikette of getting acustomed with the website you are on before posting there.

Cheers, a Fork. :)
ps: your general concerns are VALID, but there are way better ways to try to get them solved.
So glad you know what I should say and do and how to solve things???? I was referring to your multiple other posts about teenagers not our interaction. You see…. You can’t delete things here. That’s a good and bad thing. At any rate. I don’t require your validation. Have a nice night. I have an irl session.
 

subzzzero

Kink Talk Addict
  • Straight
  • Male
  • Dominant
Dec 6, 2015
808
472
63
I had a reread of the entire thread:

Vetted for savety: Report function, Option to verryfiy profile via admins, Explaind in Forum.
Anonymity: posting of Face pics is strictly not permited, even showing a warning everytime posting something, as can be read on forum.
Questions only keep away newbies, dont creeps. BDSM related stuff can be googled, Political opinions are rather personal and not that googleable.
Where would a dom get training if not here, where would a sub get training if not here? see Tenage sex, akward at first, lots of experimenting around,trying stuff out, reading lots. Predators are already well versed in most of these things, while the unaware, needing education and self finding are not.
On this site, subs are about 50/50 male and female i would roughly guess.
System for reporting intruisive doms is in place, a report function under every post, message, picture, private and public.
Vetting... well, its a forum about open discussion, if someone has questions, there are tonns of members ready to answer. asigning vets to people that migth never come again seem unnecesary. allso see ranks aka Kinky Newby, member ect.


Pinned savety stuff, more or less exsist, can be better. only real valid point so far. most other things are questions that can be found out within 10mins of looking at the forum. Pinned savety stuff could have been a modmail, see how its handled on reddit.

Forum got 55.876 MEMBERS, questioning everyone upon registration is quite a challenge and not fesible for the 3? i have seen so far admins, automated questioning can be tricked effortlessly and provida a false layer of protection.

There already exsist threads with lists of scammers ect, If someone uses a dom for self harm, phew thats a difficult topic, already had someone on here that was like this, perhaps self harm, perhaps just wanting levels of pain i was not comfortable with. I broke off contact after telling her that this is not what im looking for.

Since you had a look at my Profile already :) you migth have read that i consider myself experimental, open to try everything, learn new thing, and that im "only" barely 22 myself, are you trying to shame me for commenting on a thread of a 18 year old? perhaps actualy read what that thead was about, the only thing i would say i messed up was one pronown.

Gennealy, i would consider myself as a advokate for healt and savety, i dont have anny issues with your opinion, rather the way you seem to ignore general netikette of getting acustomed with the website you are on before posting there.

Cheers, a Fork. :)
ps: your general concerns are VALID, but there are way better ways to try to get them solved.
One thing here just since you’re new and maybe others will learn it as well. The ranks thing newbie, member, senior, etc all just are based on posting, replying, messages likes etc. they do not validate safety, Level of experience, or vetted status. I could literally come in troll and spam personals but just not violate any site rules and get the same rating as I have now.
 
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garry0993

Kink Talk Member
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Apr 6, 2020
38
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After read through more post after me, I think I am still very confused and don't get why you posted here in the first place.

Yes, I agree with you that those "guide post" can be optimized more and be put in the place so it is easier for everyone to read, reflect and review. Yes it would be nice that we can block the creeps and predators in the first place. I will skip commenting on questionnaire as they are well stated above. It has it's own issues and challenges that is more then just a thread can be solved.

But at the same time, you didn't do your research/look around at all. To be honest with you, all the link I had in my reply took me 5 minutes to look up, and they are more then enough basic info to warn and remind people what kind of behavior is toxic and need to watch out. As mentioned before, we should all be adults here who are in general better at self defending and spotting the dangerous.

You mentioned the importance of guide post yet yourself didn't even bother to look them up. That's exactly what I meant by "they are useless when being ignored no matter how obvious they are." While asking for a better solution for the problem, you are ignoring the existing solutions completely and denying their existence. To me it really felt like you are arguing for the sake of arguing.

As for deem here safe or no, I personally think it is less intimidating here then fetlife as you are more then likely to be scammed over there. Or to a degree, social media in general. All come down to the same online life, do your research, cut ties with questionable ones and be wise of personal protection. On normal site you might be scammed for money, for here you get scanned by nudes. As stated above, it is the same amount of risk you take when talk with strangers online/meet new people. It's always a gamble and it doesn't hurt to be careful and wise. But there is nothing more and nothing less really.

In the end, I really failed to see what does your irl session to do with this argument thread here. IF you need to go, simply go and reply after. Nobody cares why you reply 1 or 5 hour late.

So yeah, I agree that you do bring up good questions and thoughts to push not only here but kink site in general to be safer, but at the same time, maybe have a different way in bring those concerns up and see what could be improved based on what currently exists. Not argue for the argue sake as this is not constructive criticism.

Though I do wish you have a good night.
 
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pmme_yourfork

Kink Talk Member
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Dec 30, 2021
43
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22
One thing here just since you’re new and maybe others will learn it as well. The ranks thing newbie, member, senior, etc all just are based on posting, replying, messages likes etc. they do not validate safety, Level of experience, or vetted status. I could literally come in troll and spam personals but just not violate any site rules and get the same rating as I have now.
you would have been reported, timouted, banned, if you were someone that spends years spamming bullshit, just saying,
 

pmme_yourfork

Kink Talk Member
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Dec 30, 2021
43
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So glad you know what I should say and do and how to solve things???? I was referring to your multiple other posts about teenagers not our interaction. You see…. You can’t delete things here. That’s a good and bad thing. At any rate. I don’t require your validation. Have a nice night. I have an irl session.
What are things to Solve?
Like, sligthly improving pinned post?

And please, show me my Creepy other post that are worth linking, where i see to do such bad things that you try to shame me for them.
Like... im 22, have been for like a week, who in the rigth mind, would consider me "Interacting" with 18,19,20 year olds as "problematic" ?

It seems like you came here to start an argument about a minor thing on the forum, having NOT EVEN FUCKING BOTHERED TO LOOK AT THE FORUM STRUCTURE AND RULES, and then try to personaly shame me for saying your discussion is aimless?

You are almost 40, apperantly have been in the lifestyle for 10 years.

if we realy are getting personal here..... You seem like a facebook/twitter social justice warrior, trying to get attention.

Internet Safety is important, but you argue like a 15year old.
So glad you know what I should say and do and how to solve things???? I was referring to your multiple other posts about teenagers not our interaction. You see…. You can’t delete things here. That’s a good and bad thing. At any rate. I don’t require your validation. Have a nice night. I have an irl session.
Do jt, link the poster where I, the guy that has been 22 for a week, has been caught trying to do stuff to teens...
Like please, show me, show us, that for one, you actualy have the ability to read a posts context instead of just looking at a headline and jup to conclusions like you did with this whole website... having a short glance and starting criticising stuff, demanding change, not providing solutions.

And since we already became personal in our argument, I dont need to hold back:
Ya argue like 14 year old... like girl, you are almost 40, act your age, please.

Have a nice day :)
-fork guy.
 

LilBecca4095

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Submissive
Jan 8, 2022
23
4
3
38
What are things to Solve?
Like, sligthly improving pinned post?

And please, show me my Creepy other post that are worth linking, where i see to do such bad things that you try to shame me for them.
Like... im 22, have been for like a week, who in the rigth mind, would consider me "Interacting" with 18,19,20 year olds as "problematic" ?

It seems like you came here to start an argument about a minor thing on the forum, having NOT EVEN FUCKING BOTHERED TO LOOK AT THE FORUM STRUCTURE AND RULES, and then try to personaly shame me for saying your discussion is aimless?

You are almost 40, apperantly have been in the lifestyle for 10 years.

if we realy are getting personal here..... You seem like a facebook/twitter social justice warrior, trying to get attention.

Internet Safety is important, but you argue like a 15year old.

Do jt, link the poster where I, the guy that has been 22 for a week, has been caught trying to do stuff to teens...
Like please, show me, show us, that for one, you actualy have the ability to read a posts context instead of just looking at a headline and jup to conclusions like you did with this whole website... having a short glance and starting criticising stuff, demanding change, not providing solutions.

And since we already became personal in our argument, I dont need to hold back:
Ya argue like 14 year old... like girl, you are almost 40, act your age, please.

Have a nice day :)
-fork guy.
Dear, I am avoiding continuing to interact with you. As, should be apparent. I am a college educated human who has been in the actual scene for over 20 years. I did not come here to start any type of argument. And, as a 22 year old, your interest in 18 year olds might not be incredibly problematic. On that, you are correct. Additionally, I have little interest in continuing any discussion with any human who uses the term “social justice warrior “ as it is a buzz word. You are dismissed. I have no further interest in communication with you, as it is unproductive. Please respect that I no longer consent to interact with you . Good day.
 

LilBecca4095

Kinky Newbie
  • Bisexual
  • Female
  • Submissive
Jan 8, 2022
23
4
3
38
After read through more post after me, I think I am still very confused and don't get why you posted here in the first place.

Yes, I agree with you that those "guide post" can be optimized more and be put in the place so it is easier for everyone to read, reflect and review. Yes it would be nice that we can block the creeps and predators in the first place. I will skip commenting on questionnaire as they are well stated above. It has it's own issues and challenges that is more then just a thread can be solved.

But at the same time, you didn't do your research/look around at all. To be honest with you, all the link I had in my reply took me 5 minutes to look up, and they are more then enough basic info to warn and remind people what kind of behavior is toxic and need to watch out. As mentioned before, we should all be adults here who are in general better at self defending and spotting the dangerous.

You mentioned the importance of guide post yet yourself didn't even bother to look them up. That's exactly what I meant by "they are useless when being ignored no matter how obvious they are." While asking for a better solution for the problem, you are ignoring the existing solutions completely and denying their existence. To me it really felt like you are arguing for the sake of arguing.

As for deem here safe or no, I personally think it is less intimidating here then fetlife as you are more then likely to be scammed over there. Or to a degree, social media in general. All come down to the same online life, do your research, cut ties with questionable ones and be wise of personal protection. On normal site you might be scammed for money, for here you get scanned by nudes. As stated above, it is the same amount of risk you take when talk with strangers online/meet new people. It's always a gamble and it doesn't hurt to be careful and wise. But there is nothing more and nothing less really.

In the end, I really failed to see what does your irl session to do with this argument thread here. IF you need to go, simply go and reply after. Nobody cares why you reply 1 or 5 hour late.

So yeah, I agree that you do bring up good questions and thoughts to push not only here but kink site in general to be safer, but at the same time, maybe have a different way in bring those concerns up and see what could be improved based on what currently exists. Not argue for the argue sake as this is not constructive criticism.

Though I do wish you have a good night.
And, I feel there is an abundance of criticism towards me in your response for absolutely no reason. Yes, it takes 5 mins to find these links. But, a better job could be done in some respects, which was my entire point. A point which you acknowledge. I wasn’t attempting to start an argument, and have been mostly civil in said discussion. If you acknowledge this site could be improved in some ways, I acknowledge this, others acknowledge this, that is the point. Everything else is extraneous. I obviously don’t know the best way to do so, as none of the responders who agree that it could be improved. So….. that’s the main point
 

pmme_yourfork

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Dec 30, 2021
43
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Lol, you can't just "consent people out of your life" because they share a different opinion.

That's... peak funny.

You know that human "shame" is evolutionary intended to reflect on one's self, on how ther opinions and methods migth will be taken up by others. It's a survival instinct, not to fall to far off the group and left behind.

But please, let there be one good thing come from this, take the time out of your life, the time we dont have, and write up a suggested health and safety post, something that could be pinned, or could work as a foundation for something that gets pinned.
Something that has actual substance amd provides possible guidelines and suggestions, how subs and doma can be carefull around each other.

And then post it here, to actualy provide a benefit.

-fork
 

garry0993

Kink Talk Member
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Apr 6, 2020
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And, I feel there is an abundance of criticism towards me in your response for absolutely no reason. Yes, it takes 5 mins to find these links. But, a better job could be done in some respects, which was my entire point. A point which you acknowledge. I wasn’t attempting to start an argument, and have been mostly civil in said discussion. If you acknowledge this site could be improved in some ways, I acknowledge this, others acknowledge this, that is the point. Everything else is extraneous. I obviously don’t know the best way to do so, as none of the responders who agree that it could be improved. So….. that’s the main point
In my opinion, if you know what are the issues and How are the things that can be improved, aka in this case the link position or some entering questionnaire, you could simply point it out in the first paragraph and save everyone half a page of discussion to come to this discussion. That's why I felt it feels more like argue for the argue sake. Why not get to the point right away if you have spotted them already? Why bother pretend you don't know the exact issue you want to talk about and force us to "learn through discussion"?

My criticism was not towards you personally, but more so to this post itself. In my opinion, there are much better ways to I would do for this post. Either speak up directly and saves the time of beating around the bush so nobody need to guess the main point, or simply don't come with a predetermined mindset and be open to a true discussion. From your own post, you mentioned you came with a specific purpose and aim, which is fine, but then you trying to pass it as a neutral discussion post without acknowledging what has been done or are currently existing.

That was my main point, there are better ways to do it, but this post wasn't any where close to it in execution.
 
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